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these are just a couple of rules we men have for women.  this is how we (men) function.  finally someone has taken the time to write them down, so here is our side of the story.

1)  Men are NOT mindreaders

2)  Learn how to work the toilet seat.  You're a big girl. if it is up, put it down.  You need it up, we need it down.  you dont hear us complaining about you leaving the seat down.

3)  Sunday sports, its like the full moon and the changing tides.  Just let it be

4)  Shopping is not a sport.  And no, we will never think of it that way.

5)  Crying is blackmail

6)  Ask for what you want...
let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT

7)  Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

8)  Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.  That's what we do... sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

9)  A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem.  see a doctor.

10)  Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an argument.  in fact, all comments become null after 7 days.

11)  If you wont dress like the victoria's secret girls, dont expect us to act like your soap opera guys.

12)  If you think you are fat, you probably are, dont ask us.

13)  If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

14)  You can either ask us to do something or tell us how to do it, not both.  If you already know how to do it best, do it yourself.

15)  Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during a commercial break.

16)  Christopher Columbus didnt need directions and neither do we.

17)  All men see in only 16 colors, like a windows default setting.  Peach, for example... is a fruit, not a color.  Pumpkin is also a fruit.  We have no idea what Muave is.

18)  If it itches, it will be scratched.  We do that.

19)  If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong.  we know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle and we know you will bring it up again later.

20)  If you ask a question you dont want an answer to, expect an answer you dont wanna hear.

21)  If we are going somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... really.

22)  Dont ask us what we are thinking unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

23)  You have enough clothes.

24)  You have too many shoes

25)  I am in shape.  Round IS a shape

26)  Thank you for reading this. Yes i know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really dont mind that?  It's just like camping.

hey... so i am just writing because i darn well feel like it.  lol... just kidding, although that is partially true.  i mean heck, if i REALLY didnt want to write, i dont think i would be... do you???  i didnt think so... and thus i am currently wanting to write and that is why i am writing, so i was telling the truth.  what now???

 so, i guess i will tell you about my summer so far.  because really, that is all i have.  lol.  not a whole lot has been going on.  although i am mega excited because thus far i have managed to spend some part of just about everyday with my girlfriend.  it is pretty awesome.  wednesday, the day i got out we watched the "breakfast club" and "how to lose a guy in 10 days", both of which were excellent movies.  thursday she came over to my house we watched "catch and release", another chick flik.. although i had trouble following that one.  go figure eh???  lets see here, what did we do friday???  i cant recall... oh wait!!!!  i remember now.  we went to watch pirates of the caribbean at world's end in theaters.  they were sold out though.  go figure eh???  whoa-o, deja vu.  so anyways, we ended up watching disturbia in theaters... no really, that was okay though because it is a very good movie and it was a whole 2 hours i got to spend sitting next to my gf.  it was awesome.  the same part scared me though, and i knew it was coming, so i was saddened.  saturday you already know was the family's memorial day barbecue, followed a totally sweet bonfire-ish type thing.  sunday we went to church together. 

okay, monday we didnt do anything... and that saddens me.  i dont think i even talked to her monday.  that is terrible.  i feel so ashamed.  i am sorry kenzie, i love you. 

tuesday we went and watched pirates of the caribbean at world's end.  go figure they were sold out so we watched disturbia for a 3rd time.  lol, just kidding they werent sold out so we watched pirates of the caribbean.  that was a wickedly awesome movie!!!!!!  i dont care what any of you say.  then of course wednesday we had a game night type thing at the church.  that was pretty cool.  we basically played trashball, and sardines.  i got my pants all dirty in trashball, and i really hope the stain comes out.  i hope.  lol.

lets see here... thursday.  OH MY GOSH!!!!   I WILL HAVE TO WRITE A SEPERATE BLOG FOR THURSDAY BECAUSE IT WAS NUTS!!!  ah, not really, just the weather and all.  but still it was fun and i will write about in another blog, so deal with it yo'.  lol

 god bless
---josh---

oh man.... tonight was a good night.  no really, can't you tell my excitement???  its like... OFF THE WALLS!!!!!  only, they are cyber walls, as you are currently reading from the computer.  wow, dont you like the way i think???  dontl lie.

so yeah, our family sort of "hosted" a memorial weekend barbecue party thing at our house.  it was pretty off the hook.  even though only one other family, our youthpastor, and my girlfriend came.  well, and an elder lady.  but what the hay. 

the food was pretty dang good... although kenzie wouldnt know that because she came like, incredibly late.  INCREDIBLY  that is how late she was.  (kenzie = gf)(in case you did not know,  in which case you do now so dont forget)

we had a good time playing too.  like, we have some wierd, but fun golf game in our yard.  my youthpastor and a couple kids played with that.  oh, and i take that  back, two other families came, along with the youthpastor, etc.  sorry for the random thought but i felt bad for my evilish deceptive lie.  so, back on track... we (a couple kids, including gf) jumped on the trampoline.  actually we didnt really jump, just lied there.  but again, what the hay.

the best part is when we got a fire going and kenzie was sitting on my lap while we burned all my school papers and the such.  man it was so romantic. lol.  there is nothing like sitting with each other in the soft glow of a nighttime fire being fueled by past biology assignments and english tests you failed.  man it was good.  no but really, it was awesome, i think i am a pyromaniac.  those of you whom are not aware, that means i like fire.  it is an awesome force that is not to be played with.  it can hurt... bad.  but watching the paper crumple as it instantaneously combusted... was just amazing.  really truly, and then witnessing the paper turn pitch black as all traces of its existence slowly diminish, just breath-catching.

so yeah... i kinda noticed our new youth pastor break out of his box a little bit and it was awesome.  i am so excited to have him and i can only pray things work out with him.  i love him so far... and as far as i am aware he enjoys our youthgroup.  lets just hope this is god's plan eh???

 okay, well i should be headed off... it is kinda sorta but not really late and i should be preparing myself for a long night's nap.  so i say goodbye, for now, to you my friends, i say so long, farewell, until we meet again!!!!  (i hope someone who reads this has seen that show.  it was an awesome show)

(out of the box)

god bless
---josh---

hey... SCHOOLS FINALLY OVER!!!!!  for me at least.  i am sorry for those of you whom may not be out of school yet.  my dearest most sincere apologies are with you.  truly.

so um... today basically i just went to school with my mother.  (a different school) today was their last day, and this is another school where my mother works, so i went to work with her.  that was pretty fun honestly.  i helped move a bunch of desks, computer stuff, and just moved alot of things around.  but heck, i got 3 mountain dews, some food, and some candy out of it so what the heck. lol, just kidding, i did it out of the love of my heart.  arent i such a good son???  lol... dont answer.  please.

OH!!!!  AND MY GIRLFRIEND (you have no idea how many times it took me to type girlfriend !!! ) came over.  that was good fun.  we sat and watched catch and release.  it was a chick flik, but that is alright because chickfliks are awesome.  heck, yesterday we watched the breakfast club and how to lose a guy in 10 days.  dont worry, she took notes. lol.  so yeah, i love her dearly.  it would be a shame if i lost her so i pray i never do.  she really is quite awesome.

god bless
---josh---

RED MARBLES

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas. I paid for my
potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes. Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the
store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.

"Hello Barry, how are you today?"

"H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good."

"They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?"

"Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time."

"Good. Anything I can help you with?"

"No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas."

"Would you like to take some home?" asked Mr. Miller.

"No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with."

"Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?"

"All I got's my prize marble here."

"Is that right? Let me see it" said Miller.

"Here 'tis. She's a dandy."

"I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?" the store owner asked.

"Not zackley but almost."

"Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble". Mr. Miller told the boy.

"Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller."

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.
With a smile she said, "There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with
them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever.

When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after
all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store."

I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man.
A short time later I moved toColorado, but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.

Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died.

They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.

Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts... all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged
her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket.

Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the
casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.

Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.

"Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim "traded" them.
Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size....they came to pay their debt."
"We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world," she confided, "but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho ."

With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.


The Moral :

We will not be remembered by our words, but by
our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.

Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles ~
A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself.
An unexpected phone call from an old friend.
Green stoplights on your way to work.
The fastest line at the grocery store.
A good sing-along song on the radio.
Your keys found right where you left them.

so today (wednesday may 23) was our last day of school.  i am pretty pumped for the summer, although i NEED to find a job really really really badly.  that is 3 reallys yo'.

so yeah, i had to take a semester final in all 4 classes i had today.  i dont mean to complain but it was horrible.  really truly.  i was sick and tired of testing when the day was over... so the end of school was greatly welcomed.  i now have roughly 3 months off... to do what i can.  BUT NO MORE SCHOOL!!!!!!  YEAH FOR ME!!!!

as far as summer goes, i already told you that i am hoping to get a job.  i guess i didnt really tell you that but i insinuated it with my 3 reallys and what not.  so i am hoping to get a job.  there i told you... play nice.  i am also hoping to have plenty more time to spend with my girlfriend, because anytime with her is a pretty dang good time.  she makes me so happy... and thus my attraction to her.  anyways, a mission trip to North Carolina with the youthgroup too... although i wont lie, i am kinda fretting it.  no really think about it.  from where i live we will be traveling 3 days straight, nine hours a day.  once we get there we will be spending a week in North Carolina.  after that we get to look forward to another 3 days of nine hour driving.  all with the same people.  that is nearly 2 full weeks with the same people.  that could get ugly real fast.  so do pray for us.

 god bless
---josh---

dang... i really need to write more.  i am sorry to all of you out there who are always waiting for me to write some new blog. lol... just kidding, if there were any of you out there, i would have to cry in self joy.  whatever that means, lol.  anyways, i really dont think to write blogs that often... but i sure hope i can more often now.  i like writing blogs.

so yesterday was a pretty darn good day for me.  it wasnt all that good during school you know, and all that other stuff.  but afterwards, i went to my sister's 8th grade rec and got to see her new boyfriend (of which things dont seem to be working out... but dont tell her i said that)  and um... that was pretty fun.  i felt kinda bad though for our youthgroup because we had been planning to set up a concession stand at an auction as a fundraiser for our mission trip.  well i was supposed to help out with that, except of course i was at my sister's 8th grade rec.  but all is good... i would have rather been there anyway, supporting my sister. 

afterwards, we all went as a family to braum's.  for those of you who may not know, that is an ice cream restaurante type thing.  i dont really know how to describe it.  but anyways, while there i ran into some friends of my girlfriend and I.  it was my first chance to actaully get to talk to them casually, as the only other time i saw them was at banquet, which wasnt exactly casual.  so yeah.  i had an awesome time talking with them, shared some good laughs, the whole kit and kaboodle.  so that definitly helped to make my night. 

there you go... another update from josh.  you know... i should really start typing stuff with actual meaning to it.  i should get on that.  i will see what i cant do.  like a sermon, only on the computer and not as long type of thing.  yeah.

god bless
---josh---

so the good stuff... my girlfriend and i went to a banquet thing tonight, which her school had "hosted".  it was pretty cool.  had an awesome time, and that is an understatement... because it was cool.  i loved talking to everybody... and having a good time.  not to mention getting to hang with my girlfriend all night... OF WHOM WAS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!!!!  i have pictures but i have to get batteries for the camera before i can download them... so sorry, but be patient, they are coming.

and dont worry.... the first fork is free

so yeah... i had a great time... and i am looking forward to going next year...  i really like my girlfriend's school... or i guess her classmates.  i would like to go to her school, but i dont know what my family would say about that... and then tyler would be all by himself at the high school.  so yeah.

god bless

hey everyone... I HAD A FLIPPIN' AWESOME NIGHT TONIGHT!!!!!  YOU WANNA KNOW WHY???  too bad, im gonna tell you anyways, so toughen up yo'.  lol, sorry go right ahead.

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oh, so you were saying???

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thats fascinating

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so do you want me to tell you about my night??? or not???

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you know what???  i am gonna be a meany head and make you read my next blog to fing out.  i know... dont you love me???

 god bless

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