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Well I started greek today! And so begins for the next year and beyond the language of biblical greek. I am slightly intimidated, but hey you gotta do what you gotta do right? And I have no clue if anyone will read this so whatever. I'm gonna kick the crap out of the greek language! Yeah! Gotta psych myself up. Now I need to go mow my lawn. Gonna kick the crap out of some uppity grass!!! Get you some!!!!.....?

I was reading Exodus today and came across chapter 33 where Moses in entreating the Lord to send his presence with Israel. This is just after Israel had been punished for worshipping the golden calf. God said that he would guide Israel but he would not come down into their presence because he would destroy them for being so obstinate. And as he did so many times Moses begs the Lord on behalf of the people. Here is Moses argument: "If your presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and you people from all the other people on the face of the earth?" ~Exodus 33:15 The thing that caught my eye in this passage was Moses' statement that the distinguishing feature of Israel was not the rituals, dress, conduct, but it was the presence of the Lord. This is what made them different from the world. Move to the New Testament when Jesus states that the distinguishing mark of a disciple of Christ is that they love as Christ has loved. So the mark of ancient Israel was the presence of God. The mark of the disciple of Christ is love. And not just love, but unconditional love to friend and foe alike. We are not to love for love's sake, but it is that when we love as Christ loved (sacrificially, unconditionally) then the world sees that God is with us. And God is glorified. It's not our piety, our speech, our clothes, bumper sticker or theology that speaks. Some of these result from a relationship with God, but it is our love for others that tells the world Christ is real. And that is most convicting. I have not loved like Christ. Upon reflection, I find, as C.S Lewis did, that it is not that my passions are too strong but too weak. I settle for my half hearted efforts to appease my conscious and fulfill my self righteous attitude. I place my churchy accomplishment in a sack and pull them out when I feel I haven't done enough. And then I remember the song "Jesus paid it all, all to him I owe." And I weep not for the poor, but for myself. That I have fallen so far and then once again I come to the cross and see that Christ became a curse so that I might live. And I am thrown to the ground a weary, teary mess. Only to have my terrifying desperation of a life held in the blood stained arms of love. And it is there at the foot of the cross, ugly, wet by tears, deprived of my dignity, my foolish desires, my precious reputation that I find myself deeply loved and thoroughly forgiven. And once again I smile and my cup runneth over with joy because I the unlovable sinner have been forgiven and loved by the righteous king of kings. The Lord of hosts has taken me in and adopted me into his family and wants to use me in his plan to reconcile others, still more to himself. So I sing a gospel song today. And I praise my God who is holy and just and yet has been merciful to an extent I may never know. Praise the lord, oh my soul! For it is well, it is well with my soul.

Well I got my greek book today! Alright. So I am no through chapter 4. I can say God loves me! I am very excited about it. I've basically got the alphabet down and the pronunciation. It's actually very simple so far. Any way, I also got my car insurance so there will now be no lapse in coverage and I can drive safely. I also just found out that my insurance will go down 20-30% in a year when I turn 25! Oh yeah and they say turning older stinks. Oh and I also got 30% of the textbook cuz I am a student! What a school. While I was in undergrad I couldn't afford a lot of my books so I promised someone my liver when I die (not really). That's really the big stuff today. Still haven't heard from Starbucks about the job but should this week. I need to start working! Gotta get that green. Oh I have been looking for a church. I'm thinking about getting involved with a PCA church plant that is near by. I went to their service last night and really enjoyed it. I was also convicted about going to churches with a "gimme gimme gimme" mentality. While it is not wrong to want to be poured into, I was being very selfish in the way I was looking for a church. I realized I need to start looking for a church that I could plug into and serve and let God take of the rest. If I get financial support it will be because he wills it. I will continue to be prudent and do my part, walking as he directs my steps. I am also looking to be mentored while I am here because I relize that I am but a child and I know very little at all about life. Well that's all for tonight!

Sex is easier than love, but we are not called to be children of sex are we? We are called to be children of love. I know I said I wasn't sure if I would write more on this topic but I decided I would go ahead. Let me start with the lyrics from a switchfoot song. Sex is currency She sells cars, She sells magazines Addictive bittersweet, crack your hands, with the hopeless nicotines Everyone's a lost romantic, Since our love became a kissing show Everyone's a cassanova, Come and pass me the mistletoe Everyone's been scared to death of dying here alone She, is easier to love It's easier to lie It's easier to fake and smile and brag It's easier leave It's easier to lie It's harder to face ourselves at night Feeling alone, What have we done? What is the monster we've become? Were is my soul? Sex is industry, The CEO, of corporate policy Skin-deep ministry, Suburban youth, hailing so-called liberty Every advertising antic, I've been a ways with a neon glow War and love become pedantic, We wage love with a mistletoe Everyone's been scared to death of dying here alone She, is easier to love It's easier to lie It's easier to fake and smile and brag We live in an age where sex is exploited for not even the purpose of having sex! Walk around the mall, watch some television and look for what sex is being used to sell. Sex is used to sell anything from cars to watches to clothes to….croissants and milk. What does croissants have to do with sex? Nothing. Advertisers are banking their entire promo on the idea that images of flesh or sexual innuendo will create the desire for something and that there product which is on the ad where you saw the image will become that object of lust. Lust is not confined to sex. Lust is the desire for and to consume something. It is insatiable. Do see what is happening? Sex has been devalued. Sex isn't even about sex anymore! It's about designer jeans and cologne. Yeah I'll have some sex or chocolate or whatever. The "sexual liberation" has devalued sex to marketing ploy, to an afternoon activity. No one "makes love" anymore. They have sex. I mean isn't the idea "making love" quaint now? I mean in out culture of instant pleasure and passion, isn't it just passé to hold sex as something sacred and valuable. I mean c'mon it's just sex. Perhaps you read my previous blog and said, "look I don't really struggle with this" or "I would never let it out of control" or "I don't even look at porn." But there are then those thoughts in the back of your mind, "Well maybe I did linger a little long at those ads" or do you occasionally drink in the form of a co-worker or someone you pass on the street? In C.S. Lewis' book The Great Divorce he describes a young man who was being tormented by a red lizard. The red lizard sits on his shoulder and taunts and mocks him. In this metaphor the red lizard represents any form of indwelling sin like lust. Well, one day an angel comes to him and tells the young man that he can be rid of the red lizard. At first the young man is overjoyed. He is so excited about getting rid of this awful lizard. The young man consents to the angel and the angel begins to glow with a fiery heat. The young man is taken aback as he realizes that the extermination of this lizard may not be entirely painless. The young man stops the angel and says, "Whoa, maybe we don't have to kill it, maybe…..we should wait for another time." The angel replied, "In this moment are all moments. Either you want the red lizard to live or you do not." And in that moment the red lizard realizing his life hangs in the balance starts to campaign for his own life, "Be careful! He can do what he says. He can kill me. One fatal word from you and he will. Then you will be without me forever! It's not natural. How could you live? You'll only be a sort-of ghost, not a real man like you are now. That angel doesn't understand, he is only a cold, bloodless abstract thing, it may be natural for him, but it isn't natural for us. I know there are no real pleasures, only dreams, but aren't they better than nothing? I'll be so good. I admit I have gone too far in the past, but I promise I won't do it again. I will give you nothing but nice, sweet dreams; all sweet and fresh and almost innocent. Those two words capture how most believers tolerate sexual sin. Most of us say, "Well it's not like I am sleeping with my boyfriend." Or "I'm not seducing my neighbor's wife." It's okay as long as it only affects me right? No. Sexual sin is considered especially heinous because of its unique characteristic. In this moment a man or woman is not sinning against someone else, but they sin against their own body. And a common quote from Christ, that seems to be less and less common, "But I tell you whosoever looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery (Matt. 5)." It's already happened. Sexual sin of the mind is equally as grievous as physical sin; it just does not carry with it the physical consequences. Make no mistake, both twist and distort our hearts and souls. And Jesus continues with a radical teaching that if you sin with your right hand to cut off, if you sin with your right eye to gouge it out, for it is better to lose one's eye than to lose one's soul. What are your top temptations? What are the things that hint that you are more conformed to our culture than to Christ? Is it romance novels? Is it weekly viewings? We have to be radical! But what would I do without my TV? What would I do without internet? What would I do without the little hits of flesh that I see every day? Jesus said take 'em out. If you struggle on the internet download software and move the computer out of your bedroom! Cancel the Maxim subscription, I know it does have really good articles. Throw out the movies, cancel the cable, attack the sin that is attacking you! Where is your weakness? What are you holding onto and why? If you have a chance look at Ephesians 4:17-24. Paul is writing to the Christians at Ephesus. In fact I'll put it here: As a follower of the Lord, I order you to stop living like stupid, godless people. Their minds are in the dark, and they are stubborn and ignorant and have missed out on the life that comes from God. They no longer have any feelings about what is right, and they are so greedy that they do all kinds of indecent things. But that isn't what you were taught about Jesus Christ. He is the truth, and you heard about him and learned about him. You were told that your foolish desires will destroy you and that you must give up your old way of life with all its bad habits. Let the Spirit change your way of thinking and make you into a new person. You were created to be like God, and so you must please him and be truly holy. This is a modern translation. Paul here insists on these Christians not to live like everyone else in the world because people that are of the world don't get it! I mean seriously, do you look around at our world today and see people who have it all together? Even just relationally left to ourselves we will screw everything up. And as our society spirals down into the pleasures of the flesh, we never stop to think at what cost we make out pursuit. Paul makes four observations about sexual sin that we can take away: 1) Porn/lust/sexual immorality darkens the mind. The darkened mind has no recognition of what is light rather it fears the light because the light destroys the very substance that the mind has become: depraved, fleshly, lustful, arrogant, hateful, wrathful, etc. As I said before Porn also darkens, twists and distorts our view of sex. Sex becomes about self gratification rather than the most intimate act between two people that reflects the intimate nature of God. 2) Sexual immorality desensitizes us to evil things. Remember the firestorm of that A & F Quarterly? Or the Calvin Kline ads of the late 90's that stirred such anger and outrage from the public? The sad truth of our time is that porn has been accepted by most and tolerated by all. 3) Continual exposure to porn calluses the heart. A callus is created by continual shaving or piercing of the skin. Over time the skin comes back harder and harder until we feel nothing. Given enough time porn or sexual immorality will callus the heart towards God and the holy spirit so much that we could not hear what he has to say even if we wanted to. 4) Continual exposure will ultimately lead to the surrender and collapse of the will. We no longer even fight, we just give into the fleshly craving that we have, because who are we to tell our bodies what it wants right? We are not carnal by nature, but simply higher beings responding to the call of nature right? There is no emotion in sex, it is simply an act that I do to extract the pleasure I desire for my own satisfaction. That is a terrifying thought to me, that we would degrade ourselves to the animals. Were we not created for more than this? I believe the answer is a resounding YES! As I have stated earlier this is simply the consequences of sexual immorality which defined is NOT confined to simply physical acts. Our minds are important. Our hearts are affected by our actions and thoughts. There are physical consequences for the physical acts we engage in, but even more importantly there are SPIRITUAL consequences that we must consider and be very afraid of. If you are a Christian you will not lose your salvation, that is not what I am saying. God is faithful to his word and the sacrifice of Christ has made atonement for the sins of the world and He (being Jesus) is given the authority to impute that perfect righteousness, that perfect holiness to those who will simply believe in him. What I am saying is that the spiritual consequences for those of us who already know God damage our relationship to him so much so that we will eventually walk away thinking he wasn't real or doesn't want us because we are so dirty. There is Hope! For all who would call on the name of Christ there is HOPE! First, confess to God what you have done. We must start with God, because he is always first in our lives. Next confess to another person what you have done. It is not easy to do this, but trust me, trust me, trust me, this is absolutely necessary to begin life change. You will be surprised to find that you are not alone. Start cutting out those things that tempt you. Remember, holiness is radical! It is not simply enough to say you want to change and then go on about your business. If you want things to change, you have to change some things! Make a list of the areas where you are tempted the most and share that with one other person and make a plan and ask them to hold you accountable to execute that plan. I plan to write at least one more installment on this subject. If you want to check out 1 Corinthians and compare their culture to ours. You will find it surprisingly similar. As always, if there is no one else that you can turn to, no one who you feel may understand, then message me. Tell someone, I beseech you.

It seems like longer and longer in between blog posts...I have been running around like crazy since Christmas and so much has happened in the last few weeks, I just don't know where to start. Utah was sweet. I love seeing my Dad and Heather(step-mom). They are just so awesome, loving and caring. My Dad and I are like carbon copies of each other, it's scary really. We finish each others jokes. Well it was odd time during those 4 days I was out there because I was also listening to a series on pornography by a Pastor named Tim Lucas from Liquid Church. I downloaded it from itunes through the podcasts thing. Well I know that it is taboo to talk about this stuff or make mention of it to the public (as if it weren't obvious that it has prevaded nearly every aspect of our culture.) Porn is actually derived from the greek word Pornea which is the broadest term for sexual sin there is in that language. Pornea has infected our culture. Look around us, it's everywhere; TV, ads, accepted cultural practices....the list could go on really. Last night one of my roomates had to turn of the TV because a blatent sex scene just came on. Now granted this was cable but it was not one of those "pay channels". It was a major cable network. To be honest it doesn't really surprise me. If you look at the statistics of Porn use they are staggering. Porn is now a 12 billion dollar industry in the US. It grosses 47 billion outside the US. Makes us better right? no. Over half of christian men admit to struggling with pornography. Around 40% that are in vocational ministry admit that porn is a personal issue. And let me tell you right now that porn is an addictive drug. I've seen it, I've done it. I was exposed to porn when I was 12. My friend and I found his brothers olld magazines and video tapes. If this offends you or tarnishes your image of me well then so be it. I will not pretend that this does not play a factor in my life simply to help people have a positive outlook on who I am. I am accountable to God for what I have seen and done and he sent Christ to die for my sin, thus by clinging to the power of the cross I am forgiven, not to be dragged down to the depths of shame and guilt but to be lifted up clean and pure as the driven snow as a child of the living God. And so here I am before you, YES I have seen it and YES I struggled with it for years upon years. Even now there is the temptation, but I choose God as I have to every day. The thing about Porn is that is all about getting a high. The thrill of the forbidden coupled with someone exposed for your own pleasure. You have the power with just the turn of a page or a click of the mouse. And that is the hook. But the problem with high's is that you have to go higher the next time. In achieving this high a person must view things that are more shocking, more vile than the previous day. And it becomes an addiction. It becomes deadly to your work, to your MARRIAGE, to your family, to your RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. Porn will destroy a marriage. The most obvious consequence would be a spouse discovering the other engaged in their "private viewing." But here is another aspect that I think most people don't think about. Sexual sin darkens the mind; it callouses the heart. Porn twists and distorts the relationship between a man and a woman so that it becomes about bringing pleasure to oneself. Sex in marriage is a beautiful thing. I can;t wait till the day, because it was created by God as an act of worship! It was made pleasurable and pleasing, but only in a certain context. Put a fire in the fire place and it will warm the whole room. Put a fire outside the fire place and it will consume and destroy everything in its path(VB). Also as a side note, women take up 30% of pornography viewing. And that number is growing. Also women are more likely to act out their fantasies (i.e. affairs, multiple partners) than men are. If all of this is repulsive to you, then good, it should be. This stuff has been eating away at people of our generation for years. It carries the weight of shame, guilt, a feeling of dirtiness that cannot be made clean. I really could write more on all of this and I might later, but I believe this is long enough. There is hope. If anyone is addicted or just wants to get some help, feel free to message me ot also check out xxxchurch.com. Don't worry it's a clean site. They established this site to help people breakout from their addiction. Let me give you also this truth: a little porn in NOT okay. A little Porn is NOT okay. A little porn is NOT okay. If you just dabble in it, you know without paying for anything and say to yourself, "I'm okay, not an addiction." You are headed for a fall and you will fall hard. We have to be radical in how we approach this and how we pursue purity. I desire purity so greatly, because I am saving myself for my wife and also that I can please God and be pleasing in his sight.

I went wtih Jason to go see Chronicles of Narnia tonight. Now before you stop reading, I won't give away the story or really neat parts or whatever. Besides I think C.S. Lewis did that already. Anyway, as most people know, the entire Chronicles of Narnia series was written as an allegory to prepare children to hear the gospel when they were of age to comprehend it. Well, let me tell you this is an awesome movie. I don't know about comparing to anything or breaking it down according to plot lines or whatever, but I was absorbed into the heart of the story. I was locked into the passion that was obvious. I cried during this movie. I don't cry at movies. After the movie I made my way quickly to my car, which I was luckily driving home by myself because of what happened next. I had barely gotten the keys out of my pocket before the tears began. I got into my car and started it and then sat back and sobbed. I wept. I groaned and cried for I don't know how long really. I began to get sick, I ran out of tears. It was so strange to me. I was so distraught over my sin and treachery and the very fact that I had aided in leading others astray and all the evil I accomplished for so much of my life. I was overcome by the love and grace of a blessed perfect savior who willingly laid down his life though he had done nothing wrong. He was beaten and tortured and mocked nd then crucified on my behalf. I felt like Peter looking up at Jesus right after he had given his final denial. How Jesus' eyes must have looked......And he rose again. He gave me life, the one who had turned on him. And then he sent me into battle. And now I fight a terrible, hard war against my own flesh and the evil of this world. And I watch as my friends and loved ones are hurt and dragged down and killed and suffer at the hands of sin and death. Understand that I know about the overuse of spiritual warfare. "We're fighin' a war! Get yer gun and bible and go runnin on in!" Or however that sermon goes. But it is true. there is something going on that we don't see. But the great thing, the thing that God shed light on tonight for me was that we have won it already, the end just hasn't come. And when I think of how all the wounds and suffering others, myself have had to endure and when I think of how beyond words and comprehension being with Christ will be, I weep. I can't handle it, I can't contain it. It is as if my soul is just GROANING for the end to come, and when I contemplate these truths my soul says, "That's good. That is so good." It nourishes my soul. That is the only way I can explain it. This is the hope that we have. That out present suffering will be as nothing compared to the glory and riches found in Christ. He has given us eternal life and not only that, the resources to make it throught this journey to the end where we will be reunited with Christ. I can't handle that! I just shake my head and weep.......Jesus come quickly I long for you. But until you do, I will be here actively pursuing those you love and spreading the message of how you died for me, how you loved me and how you are coming back for me. And even more importantly that you are doing all this so that you name will be honored and every knee should bow and every tongue will confess that you are the king of kings and lord of lords ALL to the glory of the Father. This is too much for me.....you are too much for me....

There has been so much that has been going on recently, I haven't had any time to write really. One of my best friends left for Ft. Riley, Kansas this last Saturday and that was hard to see him go. I am so thankful we had a chance to repair our friendship before he left. Joe is one of the greatest friends I have ever had and I can't wait to see how God is going to use him to Impact the army. I know once he marries Danielle that they will be doing their mission work together. I lost my job Wednesday and that was a challenge. Well, I didn't "lose" it. My boss just informed me that I did not fit the position well and they needed someone who could do the work better than I could….which is true. They pretty much gave me till the end of the month which is nice. Like I said it wasn't that I was a bad employee, I just did not mesh with what they needed me to do. Not a detail guy. So if you have any job leads…… ;) I am confident that God will provide because he has said he will. In Matthew 6:35-36 he says (paraphrasing) "Don't worry about the material stuff, but seek me out and I will take care of the rest." And that is what I do. Now mind you I have updated my resume and am applying at jobs and actively searching, but I am not worried. I have bills and financial commitments of sorts, but he will provide, I have no doubt, none. Wait and see. I also may be moving out of my house within a few weeks which is hard because I love living with my roommates, but if I am going to take a pay cut, I need to cut my expenses and I believe this is the best way to do it. Also when I go to seminary which, God willing, will be in the next year, then I must remove myself from any and all potential distractions so that I can properly study. I mean TV, playstation, movies, people and all relatively shiny objects. Not that I am going to become a hermit, I don't have the capacity for that, just not built that way. Simply put I MUST FOCUS and sacrifice what is necessary to attain that with the hope that I am investing into a greater impact for the future. I will still hangout and have fun, but I must be of one mind, one primary goal to prepare myself for leading, teaching, loving, hoping, praying, giving, reproving, exhorting, discipling and dying. Some I will learn at seminary, most I will learn as I interact with people, but there are a few intellectual pursuits that I must go to seminary for and so I will go. The time for this is now. Seminary is not my ultimate goal. My ultimate goal is to impact people for the sake of Christ which means I want to introduce people to Jesus and get them connected to him so that they can have a full and vibrant relationship with their creator. Seminary is a tool I will use on my way to do this. And as I go I will do my very best to impact those around me. We are always in ministry no matter where we are at. I also had someone from my past come to me and admit a lot of things that were very hard for them to say. It was good, it was so good. Their courage showed and I saw how much they respected and cared for me, enough to come to me knowing that I could very well reject them. Honesty, tough conversations, love, hope and peace, struggles, pain, redemption, grace, justice, strength, suffering, and reparation. I am so blessed to be a follower of Christ!!! And a note on prayer. I get tired of our culture treating God like he's our fairy God-mother. I get sick of how I do it myself. "Here God, here's my list! I was good this year" or "You remember what I have gone through? You owe me!" My prayers are filled with so many me's and I's and about stuff that affects only me. I think it is great to be reminded of who it is we are talking to. We SERVE God. He is not a Genie in a bottle…..baby. He is a fierce and magnificent King who has sought fit to be merciful to his wicked servants. And he wants us to come to him, to let him know what is on our hearts and the desires we have and the pain we hold. He wants to hold us, love us, but he also wants us to be pure, holy and righteous. And we rebelled. As our King he had every right to kill us for our treachery. He also had the means, trust me. Do you think that the one who spoke the universe into existence couldn't just wipe it out or even simply cast everyone into hell? People recoil from the latter, because it seems so harsh. But the simple reality is that for God to be God, that is, for God to maintain his character, sin can not go unpunished. God is glorified through justice. The penalty for sin is death. For God to do any less would be to compromise his character, his holiness. So with the choices laid out for Him, God did what no one imagined, what no one would do. He sent that which was most precious to him to be sacrificed. God watched as we killed his beautiful boy, his perfect son. He LET it happen. He saw it fitting that he(jesus) should be crushed. I tried to cut this passage down but as I read it, I can not take anything out. Read it and know who our God is. "Who has believed our message? And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed? For He grew up before Him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of parched ground; He has no stately form or majesty that we should look upon Him, nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him. He was despised and forsaken of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and like one from whom men hide their face. He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried; Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, and by His scourging we are healed. All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; but the LORD has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on Him. He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He did not open His mouth; like a lamb that is led to slaughter, and like a sheep that is silent before its shearers, so He did not open His mouth. By oppression and judgment He was taken away; and as for His generation, who considered that He was cut off out of the land of the living for the transgression of my people, to whom the stroke was due? His grave was assigned with wicked men, yet He was with a rich man in His death, Because He had done no violence, nor was there any deceit in His mouth. But the LORD was pleased to crush Him, putting Him to grief; If He would render Himself as a guilt offering, He will see His offspring, He will prolong His days, And the good pleasure of the LORD will prosper in His hand. As a result of the anguish of His soul, He will see it and be satisfied; By His knowledge the Righteous One, My Servant, will justify the many, as He will bear their iniquities. Therefore, I will allot Him a portion with the great, and He will divide the booty with the strong; because He poured out Himself to death, and was numbered with the transgressors; yet He Himself bore the sin of many, and interceded for the transgressors." That was written by a man named Isaiah. This is what Jesus did. This is what God did. And God did it in response to our hatred for him, because for whatever reason He has chosen to love us and never forsake us. Well it's been a long write here. And here is where I make my point. When you pray, when I pray we need to take into account this fact, we need to get wrapped around this idea: God does not need us, we need God. When we present something to him, it is out of humility and thankfulness of what he has done for us. And we can go boldly to the throne because Jesus' sacrifice has made us righteous, holy. Just remember we serve the king who has done what no one would do…..loved us when we deserved to die. Now that a Christmas message!

I was reading Nehemiah this morning and was surprised by something that I did. I really have enjoyed Nehemiah. His story of how God brought him through the enormous task of rebuilding the walls of Jeruselem in order to restore Israel's honor and in turn glorify the Almighty God has effected me deeply. At this point Nehemiah and his people have completed their task and now are in a period of celebration. Well the next chapter is all about where God had brought them starting in Egypt and onto the 40 years of wandering to conquering the promised land and so on. I have a fair grasp on the history, well at least enough to get bored and start skipping down the page looking for more relevant passages. And then I stopped. I asked myself, "What am I doing? I doubt God would put this in here just for me to skip over." So I started to read it again. And I realized why Nehemiah recounted Israel's history. He wanted to remember. He needed to remember. Israel had fallen to its current state of subservience and humiliation because they had forgotten. Israel had forgotten where there God had brought them, what he had done and ultimately questioned his faithfulness to them and God's very existence. So Nehemiah remembered. As I think about this I find myself forgetting. Forgetting what God has done in me, my family. I forget what he did and the magnitude of the sacrifice that was made. This December I have forgotten. And it was today that I was reminded. There was a night, not so long ago. A plan of eternal significance was set in motion. God sent his son under the cover of darkness, in secret to be ultimately sacrificed at the hands of the rebellious people He loved. There was nothing outwardly beautiful about Christ's birth. He was born in a manger. Joseph and Mary would have rather been at the Inn! There was no room for the savior of the world and there would be no room for him at his end. The birth of the Messiah was a beautiful moment though. It was beautiful because of what God did with that child. It was beautiful because it was the ultimate offering. He was given, and God knew full well what we would do with his gift, we would destroy him. Or at least attempt to. We would beat and jeer, mock and hate, turn our backs as we called for his blood to be spilled. And we nailed God's gift to the cross. And God saw fit to do this for so many reasons. It was the only way to reconcile us to himself. He loves us and so does Jesus. But also it had to happen this way so that no one of us could say we did anything, because even at our best we turned our back on God and went our own way. This Christmas we need to focus on two things. The first is remembrance. We need to remember what God has done in our lives; how he has loved us and we need to thank him for it. We also need to remember the gift that God gave us in Jesus and the price he paid for our souls. And secondly we need to give. We need to give financially, in our time, our love. This is not a time for Christians to gain political ground by "retaking" Christmas or putting the Christ back in Christmas. Forget all that. Before we start yelling about "holiday" trees and the secularization of Christmas, we must take some time and look inward and remember. And as we remember let us allow the heart of the one who gave us life inspire us to honor him with our lives so that through our actions we can show God that he did not send his son for nothing. So…..what do you remember?

What is gobedo? I am glad you asked. Gobedo is it. It is everything. It is that elusive concept that you strive for everyday. Imagine going where you were meant to go. Being who you were meant to be. Doing what you were meant to do. THAT is the gobedo. Now get the pronunciation right... go-bee-do. Why is it not spelled like that? Well I guess that's why you don't make up words now isn't it? And now I know what you are saying to yourself, "Eric(which is a strange thing to say to yourself), isn't this whole gobedo thing just a shameless rip off of Rod Tidwell's 'the quan' from Jerry Maguire?" No. That was about money and respect and power and blah blah blah. This is something totally different. This is about something deeper. This is about what you were made for. All summed up in one common and impersonable phrase...gobedo. This is the beginning of something. A great movement is coming. I can feel the winds of change or perhaps the ramifications of eating mexican food late at night. And yes I have lost my mind, but that is beside the point. I have found that I am inescapably wierd and am quite comfortable with that. If you wanna do something about then bring it punk. I ain't scared.

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