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I recently wrote a blog asking for prayers and then sent it in a bulliten. I hate pity parties so I know that I'm not throwing myself pity parties. I know that God's love is endless and this blog will be both venting and an ask for prayers. I have learned in my life when it rains it floods but I have also learned that God has never and will never let me go through somethings or things that I can't handle and especially him as my pilot. Most people give things to God to work through and I am at the point where it feels like a full surender. I feel like he has me at that point where he is for the good trying to take over my life. Not bits and pieces like its so easy to do but just letting him take care of things through me. This is hard because when it comes to my life I am semi a control freak. He has given me so much and it's hard for me to give it all back to him so that he can make it grow. I don't know if that makes any sense but that is kind of where I am. I am struggling because I have one thing in my life right now that satan is having a wonderful time with and that is me switching churches. My parents are die hard church of Christ and my beliefs are more baptist than anything and so I've visited a baptist church that I am familiar with at least a few people. It's hard because even though they know what I believe they don't know that I am moving on so to speak and yet at the same time in my prayers and in my heart that is the direction that God is pointing me. I know that that isn't where they want me to be along with the church of theirs that I have been visiting. I am praying for strength. I am weak in this and know that because fears of mine that I haven't felt in a long time are creaping back up. I wrote in the last blog that God knows your strengths and weaknesses but so does satan. That is still true today. I ask for prayers for strength and peace and that I keep my focus on God and his will and not others. God Bless Matt

One of the things that I truely believe in is the power of prayer. I also believe that God is always with us and whether we like it or not Satan is too. I have learned in life that there isn't a single thing in life that is to small for God to listen to and anyone to give or get encouragement on. Something else that I have learned is that there is always a Holy war going on around you that deals with who has control of your heart. My trip to England was good for me and something that me personaly I needed to go on. My relationships here grew because of it but also and mainly my relationship with God. He is first and formost but he's not the only one that wants to be at the head of the table in my life. Remember that God along with Satan know your strengths and weeknesses. When you are strong in the Lord Satan will only try harder than he was before. I am in that situation right now. I have been on a spiritual high and now Satan is fighting harder and honestly it's tearing me apart. My goal is always God but Satan knows where to hit me. I'm struggling and just asking for prayers and encouragement. I'm putting my heart out here. I know that I barely know some of you but you are still brothers and sisters and I am thankful for that. Thank You In Him Matthew

I have never done a blog but at the same time I had something happen today that I think everyone should hear or read if they choose too. I hate with a passion door knocking. It honestly sits on my nerves and I yes me have a hard time knocking on someones door that I don't even know especially knowing that they probably don't want to hear what I want to say. I am on a mission trip in England right now and every Monday and Tuesday we have gone door knocking. Most of the answer I have gotten have either been a door slammed in my face or the person was and athiest. I hope I spelled that right. Anyway, it has been one of the most discouraging things I have ever done until today. I was a little more nervous than usual today going our second round of door knocking for today and me being by myself today didn't make it any better. I had the hardest time knocking on that first door after lunch but got the best surprize I have gotten since I have been here. I asked the first question. "Do you believe in God?" I got the best answer I have heard in two weeks. She said "I am thankfully a born again Christian." Her and I started talking more and more and more and she started telling me her story about her daughter and her accident and her past husband and how God had turned her life around. The her now husband pulls in the drive and all three of us are sitting there talking and telling our stories and enjoying the company of other Christians. I talked to them for about 30 minutes and then they looked at me and ask me if they could pray with me. We walked in the house arm in arm praying together. This is a place where I am finding out that very few either believe in God and yet God always has a light there for you as an encouragement. It completely made my day and probably my trip. I honestly couldn't tell you what it meant to me because as a lot of missionaries will tell you, sometimes it feels like its just you and God and then you find that random person who is carrying that same light and together you brighten each others lights so that you can be even brighter for the world to see. God Bless and have a good day. In Him Matt

I am the king of this but I am trying t figure out why we as humans see that God is doing something for us and then decide to jump the gun and not stick to his timing. I am definately the king of this because I see situations going really well and for some reason I get really excited and jump the gun and forget that God has the perfect timing. I forget sometimes that he's gotten me this far and he did everything in the time that it needed to be done and so we and I should just let him take care of the rest and let him do what he needs to do. This is more for me than anyone else but if you read this and it hits you in some way then great but I need to step back in life on everything that he has given me because he has honestly given me more than I could every think to deserve and look and say I know that he opens my eyes to things in life but that doesn't mean that I'm supposed to run with them. It's like running with scissors if we or I try to do the rest myself and eventually something doesn't work but when I let and when we let him handle things in his time then it always falls into place. Enjoy the things that you have now and let God do to them what he has been doing in the first place. Like I said that is more to me than anyone else but if someone reads this and knows where I am coming from you are not alone.