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Have a happy 4TH of July

LOT'S WIFE

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and
turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy
looked back once while she was driving,' he announced triumphantly, 'and
she turned into a telephone pole!'

GOOD SAMARITAN

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
Samaritan. She asked the class, 'If you saw a person lying on the
roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?'
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, 'I think I'd throw
up.'

DID NOAH FISH?

A Sunday school teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think Noah did a Lotof
fishing when he was on the Ark ?'
'No,' replied Johnny. 'How could he, with just two worms.'

HIGHER POWER

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, 'We have been Learning how
powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher
Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?'
One child blurted out, 'Aces!'

MOSES AND THE REDSEA

Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday
School.

'Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy Lines on
a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the
Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people
walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements.
They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were
saved.'

'Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?' his Mother
asked.

'Well, no, Mom. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never
believe it!'

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize One of
the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the
youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about
the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice,
he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in Front of
the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped
up to the microphone and said proudly, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, and
that's all I need to know.'

UNANSWERED PRAYER

The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused
and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon.
One day, she asked him why.

'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his
messages. 'I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.'

'How come He doesn't answer it?' she asked.

BEING THANKFUL

A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, 'So your mother says your
prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?'

The little boy replied, 'Thank God he's in bed!'

UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER

During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from
one of the back pews. Tommy's mother was horrified. She pinched him into
silence and, after church, asked, 'Tommy, whatever made you do such a
thing?'

Tommy answered, soberly, 'I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He
did!'

TIME TO PRAY

A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night. 'Yes,
sir,' the boy replied.

'And, do you always say them in the morning, too?' the pastor asked. 'No
sir,' the boy replied. 'I ain't scared in the daytime.'

ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS

When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every
family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).
For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would
say, 'And all girls.'

This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing.
My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, 'Kelli, why do you
always add the part about all girls?'

Her response, 'Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying
'All Men'!'

SAY A PRAYER

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food
was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started
eating right away.

'Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.' said his mother.
'I don't need to,' the boy replied.

'Of course, you do,' his mother insisted. 'We always say a prayer before
eating at our house.'

'That's at our house,' Johnny explained.. 'But this is Grandma's house
and she knows how to cook!'

I went to church with my brother and his family,

Dallas holmes was there

 

John 3:5-7 (KJV)
 
5) Jesus answered, Verily,verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
6) That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.
7) Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.

       'The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across
some Poll data I found rather hard to believe.  It must be true given
the  source, right? The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of
Americans are unhappy with  the direction the country is headed and 69
percent of the country is  unhappy with the performance of the
President.  In essence 2/3 of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a
change. So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, 'What are
we so unhappy about?''

       A.. Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a
day,  7 Days a week?
       B.. Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in
the summer and heating in the winter?
       C.. Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a
job?
       D.. Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any
time  and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last
year?
       E.. Maybe it is the ability to drive our cars and trucks from
the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present
identification papers as we move  through each state?
       F.. Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would
find along the way that can provide temporary shelter?
       G.. I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine
from  around the world is just not good enough either.
       H. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers
show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to
take you  to the hospital.
       I.. Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a
home.
       J.. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case
of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and
use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames, thus saving you, your
family, and your belongings.
       K.. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen
TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a
bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack
or loss.
       L.. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or
militias raping and pillaging the residents.  Neighborhoods where  90%
of teenagers own cell phones and computers.
       M.. How about the complete religious, social and political
freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world?

 

       Maybe that is what has 67% of you folks unhappy.

       Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats
the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S. , yet has a
great disdain for its citizens.  They see us for what we are. The most
blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we
don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the
good Lord we live here.

       I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war
and has no plan to get us out?   The president who has a measly 31
percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the
nation in the dark days after 9/11?   The president that cut taxes to
bring an economy out of recession?   Could this be the same guy who has
been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the
spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks?  The commander in
chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me?

       Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show?
Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take
a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad?
Think about it......are you upset at the President because he actually
caused you personal pain OR is it because the 'Media' told you he was
failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day.  Make no mistake
about it.

       The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve,
and in many cases may have died for your freedom.  There is currently no
draft in this country.  They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse
to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an 'other than
honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable''
discharge after a few days in the brig.

       So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69
percent of Americans?

       Say what you want but I blame it on the media.   If it bleeds it
leads and they specialize in bad news.  Everybody will watch a car crash
with blood and guts.  How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the
corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit
corporations.  They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend
their  actions by 'justifying' them in one way or another. Just ask why
they tried to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about
how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this
way......Insane!

       Turn off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for
the bottom of your bird cage.  Then start being grateful for all we have
as country. There is exponentially more good than bad.  We are among the
most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a day,
or at least be thankful and appreciative.'  'With hurricanes, tornados,
fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing
up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu
and terrorist attacks, 'Are we sure this is a good time to take God out
of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

I do not understand why some many people want to but other down.

we need to pray one for another

GBU

sis robin s

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