God has been taking me through a place I've never been before and I see now that He had to have my full attention - even though I didn't really give it to Him at first.
Something happened a couple of weeks ago that really shook up "my little world" and caused me a LOT of confusion and doubt. I found myself questioning a lot of things - things that I had no control over and things that I will never really know exactly what happened. I began to realize that the core of my confusion was that I still have a huge problem with blind trust. Now, don't get me wrong, I know that we aren't just supposed to blindly trust in EVERYTHING and EVERYONE - we ARE to test the spirits but that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about a basic trust in someone very special and close to me that has NEVER given me any reason NOT to trust them. I found myself confused and torn and just basically a "mess" because I didn't know what to believe. What I was being told was so incredible that I couldn't just accept it at face value. The more I prayed about it, the more confused I became. Every time I would come here to the computer to try to "talk" to my friends and family about it through 'postings', no words would come. I believe now that God didn't want me talking to anyone about it but Him. I believe now that He was trying to show me that I HAVE to learn to trust Him AND I have to learn to trust this special person that He put in my life.
Not really a blind trust either - as far as being ridiculous - but trust enough in My Father to know that when something happens that I have no control over and I have no way of truly knowing for myself exactly what happened, THAT is the time I MUST depend on Him. Trust in Him to show me what He wants me to see and what He wants me to KNOW and learn that sometimes He just wants me to be able to trust because He asks me to.
I still find myself not really able to put in words what I'm trying to say, but I believe that He will get the message through anyway. I really don't even know why I'm writing this now unless it is to help someone else that may be going through the same struggle. I mean, I THOUGHT was trusting until this happened and it caused me great confusion. Then I also remembered that God is NOT the author of confusion and when I was able to once again SEE this person face-to-face and REALLY talk, it was as if all doubts just melted away and God restored what was there before. What it all came down to was a choice. Isn't that true of everything in our lives? It's all about choices. I had to CHOOSE to trust God to show me the way on this one and I had to CHOOSE to trust this very special person in my life because this person has NEVER given me reason NOT to trust them. Yes, it was hard for me - a struggle that lasted for a little over a week and even now, I will still find myself starting up with the same questions again but the difference is that NOW when those questions start, I remind myself that God is in control, not me, and He will never lead me wrong if I TRULY seek His will and direction.
As I was having my quiet time this morning, I came across this in my Bible Study - "When you don't know what to do, seek God. Take the next blind step toward His voice. Keep going. Stop and hear His voice, then take another step. It may be dark in front of you, but if you turn around I bet you'll be astounded by the glory of God's light."
WOW! How reaffirming that was to me as that is what I had just had to do. Scary? You bet! But I have to KNOW that I am trusting in Him to lead me and I have to TRUST and KNOW that He would never, ever lead me wrong.
I'm not gonna sit here and try to say "WOO HOO! I have it figured out now!" I DO have it figured out that I have to learn to TRULY TRUST Him but I also know that it is something I am going to have to continue to work at and continue to CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE until it becomes so natural to me that I don't even realize I'm choosing to trust - I just trust. Mostly in Him but also in my fellow man and relying on God for the guidance and wisdom that He will give.
Thanks for "listening" and, if you think about it when you're praying, just say a prayer for me in this area.
I love you all!
IT ALL COMES DOWN TO CHOICES
A mini-Bible study by Kathryn Kenney
Why have I believed the lie of shyness for so long? Because the enemy had me convinced that I was not as good as everyone else. He started feeding me this lie when I was ten years old and had to start fifth grade at a new school in a little town. I was the “new kid” who wasn’t related to anyone there and didn’t know anyone and, OH MY! how the enemy LOVES to use children to hurt and tear down other children.
It was about three or four years later that I accepted Christ as my Savior. But even then, I still believed the enemy’s lie that I was ‘shy’. I believed that lie for thirty-seven years! Finally, on July 20, 2006 the Lord was able to break through that lie and get to me – or I guess I should say, I allowed Him to finally get through to me. He had wanted me to know from day one that I was special and that I was important to Him; but, instead, I kept believing the lie of the enemy that God couldn’t love me because I wasn’t as ‘good’ as everyone else.
People, friends, would tell me, “You need to get some self-confidence” but how could I do that? Self-confidence is “a belief in one’s own ability, power, judgment, etc.” The enemy had me convinced that I had no ability or power. I have even been guilty of telling others that they need to have self-confidence; but, I now realize that none of us need SELF-confidence. Yes! We need CONFIDENCE, which, according to The New Combined Bible Dictionary & Concordance, is “full trust, belief in the reliability of a person or thing”. And according to Strong’s #3982, the word confidence, as an intransitive verb, means “to be convinced, be confident, have inward certainty, trust.” But I can’t have confidence in MYSELF…my confidence must be in GOD.
I can not find one place in the Bible where it says anything about having confidence in one’s self; but I did find where it tells me to have confidence in GOD, in the LORD, in HIM! And I found scripture that specifically tells me NOT to have confidence or trust in MAN.
Psalm 65:5 (New King James Version) 5 By awesome deeds in righteousness You will answer us,
O God of our salvation,
You who are the confidence of all the ends of the earth,
And of the far-off seas;
Jeremiah 17:5 (New King James Version) 5 Thus says the LORD:
“Cursed is the man who trusts in man
And makes flesh his strength,
Whose heart departs from the LORD.
Philippians 3:3 (New King James Version) 3 For we are the circumcision, who worship God in the Spirit, rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh,
Psalm 40:4 (New King James Version) 4 Blessed is that man who makes the LORD his trust,
And does not respect the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.
Isaiah 31:1 (New King James Version) 1 Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help,
And rely on horses,
Who trust in chariots because they are many,
And in horsemen because they are very strong,
But who do not look to the Holy One of Israel,
Nor seek the LORD!
Psalm 118:8-9 (New King James Version) 8 It is better to trust in the LORD
Than to put confidence in man.
9 It is better to trust in the LORD
Than to put confidence in princes.
Isaiah 57:13 (New King James Version) 13 When you cry out,
Let your collection of idols deliver you.
But the wind will carry them all away,
A breath will take them.
But he who puts his trust in Me shall possess the land,
And shall inherit My holy mountain.”
1 John 5:14a (New King James Version) 14a Now this is the confidence that we have in Him…
So you see, it isn’t SELF-confidence that I need – it is GOD-confidence! And once I truly have that GOD-confidence, then I can have the boldness that He wants me to have to do HIS work. He did not create me to always be in doubt or to be afraid or timid or shy. He created me to have CONFIDENCE IN HIM and to be BOLD IN HIM! Just as these scriptures tell me…
2 Timothy 1:7a (New King James Version) 7a For God has not given us a spirit of fear,
2 Chronicles 32:7a (New King James Version) 7a “Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid nor dismayed…”
Deuteronomy 31:6 (New King James Version) 6 Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”
Ephesians 3:12 (New King James Version) 12 in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through faith in Him.
Proverbs 28:1 (New King James Version) 1 The wicked flee when no one pursues,
But the righteous are bold as a lion.
Hebrews 4:16 (New King James Version) 16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Ephesians 6:19 (New King James Version) 19 and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel,
Hebrews 13:6 (New King James Version) 6 So we may boldly say:
“ The LORD is my helper;
I will not fear.
What can man do to me?”
Philippians 1:20 (New King James Version) 20 according to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death.
Hebrews 10:19 (New King James Version) 19 Therefore, brethren, having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus,
So, if I put my trust and confidence IN HIM, then I no longer have to fear and I can be BOLD IN HIM!
Now, don’t think that since I’ve figured all that out it means that I am suddenly this “outgoing” person, who knows just what to say to people and knows just what to do at any given moment because that just isn’t the way it is at all! I told you, I believed the enemy’s lie for thirty-seven years so, even though I now understand it for the lie that it was, it is still hard to get past it. It is a constant daily struggle. In fact, sometimes it is a minute by minute struggle. I will sense that I’m supposed to do or say something and at the same time that lie rears its ugly head and says “But you’re not good enough. You know you’re always supposed to stay ‘behind the scenes’. No one wants to hear your silly ideas. You CAN’T do that” and on and on it goes.
However, now that I know what is going on, I have to recognize it and choose to ignore it. I have to start reminding myself of the scripture, GOD’S WORD, that tells me different. He has called me, not for my ability, but for my availability. I have to remind myself of what was recently pointed out to me from John 6:1-12. Jesus asked how can we feed all these people but the only answers He got was how they couldn’t feed the people. Then He took the little boy’s lunch and gave thanks and had the disciples “tote the baskets” of food to the people. Jesus will perform the miracles, if I am only willing to “tote the basket”.
So, every time I am faced with doubt or fear or the lie of shyness, I must remind myself of whose child I am and remember that HE IS IN ME and I must choose to be bold in him, tote my basket and let Him work the work that HE wants to accomplish in and through me. It really is all about choices.
Do you fight the lie of shyness? Does the enemy have you convinced that you aren’t good enough? I pray that this ‘study’ the Lord took me on will help you finally choose to overcome this. No, it isn’t easy, but next to what He did for me and for you, it isn’t anything!
I pray you will daily make the choice to “tote your basket” and let Him do the miracles!
Hello to all my JC Faith Family!
I want to share some news with everyone but first I want to share with you all the prayer that I prayed one year ago today on August 12, 2006. We (the ladies at our church) had just started a Bible Study by Anne Graham Lotz. Here’s what I prayed after studying my lesson one night:
Lord, Thank You again for this Bible Study. When we first started I remember saying, "I'll never be able to do that" - but look at what You have done! I feel closer to You than I ever have and I am finding myself wanting to spend more and more time with You in Your Word. It's like I've known You all these years and thought of You as a good friend but now I'm realizing how much You love me and how much I love you and it is sooooo WONDERFUL! Please continue in the days and weeks to come to reveal to me the things You want me to see and to know. I'm open to whatever it is You have in store for me. Your loving daughter
Now, the reason I bolded and underlined the last line of that prayer is because it plays a huge part in what I am about to tell you.
God has introduced me to someone very special and his name is Jeffery Champion. He is a very Godly man and he treats me with much respect and gentleness. When we first started talking it was just as friends. That’s all either of us wanted. But, over the last month, God has begun to change our thinking. When He first started changing our thinking, one of the first things that we did was to hold hands and pray for God’s direction in our relationship. We only want HIS will in our lives. We believe that it was God that brought us together for many different reasons. Let me just say this, when Jeff first said something one night on the phone about “courting” me, my first reaction was “Oh no buddy! We are just friends, remember? Don’t go thinking anything else.” Well, at the same time I was saying those words to him, I felt the Lord reminding me of the prayer I had prayed about being open to whatever He has in store for me. I felt like He was saying, “Did you really mean that or not?” Well, I just continued talking to Jeff and tried to ignore what I was hearing in my spirit. But when I got off the phone, I couldn’t keep ignoring it – it wouldn’t leave me alone. So, the next day I had to apologize to Jeff. I told him that I shouldn’t have said what I did and that I would be willing to pray about it and see what happens. Well, when I told him that, Jeff told me he couldn’t even believe it when he said it. He said he had no intentions of saying anything like that but that it just came out before he realized what he’d said. So, we feel that it was God taking over.
Now don’t go thinking that we’re planning on getting married next week or something stupid like that. LOL Jeff is going to be moving to Atmore in the next couple of months because he wants to (in his words) “properly court me”. We want to spend time together and see how God leads.
Whatever is going to happen will have to be in GOD’S time and God’s will. That’s the only way either of us will be any part of it. Yes, right now, we believe that we will be married one day but we have no idea when. We are leaving that in His hands.
I just wanted to share this news with everyone because we want everyone to be praying about this with us.
I love you all and want you all to be a part of this by praying for God to show us His will.
Kathryn
) and I wanted to share it with all of you cause I think it is a FANTASTIC idea. Personally, I don't send Christmas cards cause it has gotten to be so expensive but this is one (acutally probably more than one) that I am going to be sure to send. I don't know who thought of it but I thank them.