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I look at my little page here at JCFaith and I still have the background I chose for January '07. Now it's February 08 and a lot has taken place in my life. David and i had a wonderful first year anniversary. I told him "I think I'll keep you!"{:^D}He was concerned because of clients not paying at the end of summer and over the holidays. I suggested we go to P.F.Chang's after church. He was concerne about the cost. I told him I'd put aside some for us to have a good time--but you know men. He wanted to be able to pay. I said, 'Don't worry about it. Just have a good time." We did! He ordered lamb and they burned it so they gave us his meal for free. So I looked at him and said, "See how God works when you leave these things to him?" I got an after school tutoring job last semester and i'd run afterwads to the college to pick up my daughter. I wrote last time that my dad had been hospitalized twice over the summer. We were running back and forth helping to take care of him and relieve my mother. Her arthritis was giving her a lot of grief. October 21, my dad passed quietly. We had a wonderful homegoing service. It was full of laughter and great stories of my dad who had a great sense of humor. We knew he'd have been pleased with it not being a somber occasion. David and I have done another Kairos team this past June and another in November. We are on a team now that will go in in March 13-16. Meanwhile I've had to get him to go to the hospital twice. The last time it was minor surgery for which he stayed overnight. Well, more stuff to come later.
I received this years ago in an email. Recently a friends sent it to me again: A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road.. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?" "This is Heaven, sir," the man answered. "Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked. "Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open. "Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked. "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets." The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. "Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?" "Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in." "How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog. "There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree. "What do you call this place?" the traveler asked. "This is Heaven," he answered. "Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too." "Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope That's hell." "Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?" "No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind" Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word. When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes. When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes. When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes. Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get? So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile. You are welcome @ my water bowl anytime!
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MIA
Posted On 07/08/2007 18:05:44
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Ok, I know I have been MIA from JCFaith. Were you worried about me? Did you miss me? Well, lots been going on. I have done another stint as Agape Lady for the last Men's Kairos. We started having unity meetings in May and the weekend was Father's Day weekend. Before that was the close of school stuff which has become more and more complicated as the years go by. I have been SO tempted to call Florida and ask for my years from there so I can retire sooner. Anyway, I had 4 different packets to complete for end-of-school. There was one from special ed, another from my headquarter school --AKA "AnalRetentive-USA"-- and a 3rd from just the visual impairments section of the special ed department. It's like incidental that one also has to actually teach children sometime during the day. Making things more difficult was that my mother went to St. Louis to see her only remaining brother who had a double amputation of his lowere legs. While she was there I went over to help my sister with my dad and he wasn't looking so good. So we had to take him to the hospital. He has a history of strokes. Did I say "history?" I should sat QUITE a history as he's now had nine. My dad was complaining of not being able to pick up his cup to drink his favorite pineapple soda. I told my sister that I didn't like the way he looked and I thought he should call his doctor. "Let me know what the doctor says and I will meet you guys at his office," I said on my way home to deliver th elaundry to my husband. Then he fell asleep at the table without eating a thing on his plate. So my sister packed him in the car--not an easy task--and drove him to the emergency room, calling me on the way to meet them there. The nurse who virtually lifted my 200+ dad out of the car by herself admonished my sister for doing that--saying she should have called an ambulance. My dad stayed in the hospital for about two weeks and we took turns spending the night in his hospital room. We told my mother we had everything covered so she didn't have to rush back. But I think she did cut her trip a day short. Meanwhile my dad was talking non-stop for hours on end. Most of it was coherent although a bit slurred from previous strokes. Sometimes he'd go back to 1963 near the time we first moved to Louisiana but he seemed to know where he was. Then sometimes he's get off the subject btu one subject segued into the next rather seamlessly and I wondered how he did that. My dad is a talker but I'd never seen this before. He usaully talks my husbands ear off just from sheer joy of having another man to talk to in the family. Came to find out that he was not sleeping properly and that would cause him to mildly hallucinate and talk incessantly. I went in one day right after school to stay with him and I got him to stop talking a bit by pointing out to him that one of his favorite shows 'American Idol" was on TV. My sister arrived to relive me and spend the night about 9PM. The next day he mentioned to me that he'd been to the theater for free and that he was able to see "American Idol" the live show. It was so nice, he explained that that nice little girl Jordyn Sparks won and that the people in the theatre were nice ebnough to pro his hospital bed up near the bleechers so he could see the show. "Then," he said, "at Nine-thirty, Oprah Winfrey came out on stage." Actually, Oprah came on TV at 9:30 after Idol. We could laugh about his sleep deprivation then. My brother came from Florida and spent the night and got no sleep at all with him because my dad kept him awake all night from either talking or trying to get up from the bed. He said one time, "I beleive if I had to I could get this tube thing off me and go to the bathroom by myself!" Well, the battle's not over. HIs swallowing went back to how it was after stroke #8 which meant he had to be tube fed until they completed a swallow study. That revealed that he was aspirating a lot of what he swallowed so the doctor considered another G-peg in his stomach. Since then the tube site became infected and he's been back in the hospital and now he's home. He has this machine that feeds him 24/7 so my mother doesn't have to stand over him with a bag. My daughter has beemn staying over there. My brother stayed a while longer to help. The rest of us try to do our part to let my mother lead a life outside the house--go to sorority events, church, etc. It's not easy. I go straight over after summer school. I'm working this summer with exceptional kids. Two are autistic and two have learning disabilities. I love it but I've had to wrestle with the bigger autistic kid to keep him from harming himself, the other children, my assistant and myself. I was asked to work at Leadership Institute the other half of the day. I did that for about a week and a half--not including the two week days we went to Kairos Weekend at the state prison. I was coming home and falling asleep on the sofa by 5:00. My husband David asked me if this was worth it. "You're working ith the special kids. You love doing that. Do you need this other job? WE will make it on my income and your health is far more important. I will support your decision to quit the leadership thing." So I did. A burden was lifted. I have had a bit more time to work on the 'HOneymoon-Ten" whihc is located on my hips and thighs. You ladies will know what I'm talking about. Well, that is why I have been MIA from JCFaith.
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903 - Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.
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In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
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In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767
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In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace:
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
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In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me For not rising.
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In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake.
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In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.
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A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.
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John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art In want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep; And thou wilt find a Penny.
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In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune.
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Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont
Here lies the body of our Anna -
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
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On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God
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In a cemetery in England:
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, you soon will be.
Prepare yourself and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you I'll not consent, Until I know which way you went.
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FROG
Posted On 01/31/2007 16:10:43
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Excuse my absence. I've been a little under the weather lately. I'm planning on returning to work tomorrow This is an oldie but goodie email forward
I was told a story about a lady in the hospital who was near death when an area Chaplain came to visit her. This Chaplain was a very young female with long blonde hair. She listened to the lady who was ill and left her a small gift for comfort. It was a tiny ceramic frog. The next day one of the people from the lady's church came to visit. The lady told her friend about the beautiful young Chaplain who had come to visit her. The friend was so impressed with the way the lady had improved and felt the need to talk to the young Chaplain. In her search to find the young gal, she was repeatedly reassured that the chaplains are never very young and that there was never a gal that fit the description given.
Upon returning to the lady in the hospital, a visiting nurse entered the room and noticed the ceramic frog. The nurse made the comment "I see you have a guardian angel with you." As she held the little frog. We asked why she made the comment and we were informed that the frog stood for:
(F) Fully (R) Rely (O) On (G) God
To The World You Might Be One Person; But To One Person You Might Be the World.
You have been Tagged by the Froggy, which means you are a great friend!!
. are a true friend...
Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
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Resume
Posted On 01/27/2007 12:18:41
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1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a
sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
5. Then, I tried to be a Chef -figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
6. I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian until I realized there was no future in it.
14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed,
"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"
While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"
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Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
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A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem . A small child replied: "They couldn't get a babysitter."
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that
teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
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At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she
said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"
Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
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Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think
about all this Satan stuff?"
The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out.
It's probably just your Dad."
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