God has given me what I told him I would wait for. My boyfriend Mark is the best gift God has ever given me besides my family. I met Mark here on JcFaith. And over a period of a few months he has grown on me. we started dating about 1  and 1/2 months now. we've known each other for about 5 and 1/2 months. and I know God made us for each other. But we are taking each step slowly. It's funny now because we always used to say we were just friends until I started dating this other guy the truth came out. Mark expressed that he was upset. and thats when he told me how he felt. and expressed his love for me. So after knowing each other for about 3 months I realized I loved him 2. and so two weeks after that I asked him what he would say if I asked him if he wanted to take our friendship to the next step and start dating. He said he was up for it. And now we are happier than we have ever been. And more in love than we were 1 and 1/2 months ago. And each day he does something sweet that makes me fall in love with him all over again. He's my baby. and I thank God everyday for him and what he does for me. Thats all I have for now. God Bless.

Lauren

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You know how everyone has a guardian angel. Well I have met mine. And he's great. He knows when to make me laugh when I'm crying. He understands what I'm going through and always helps me out if he can. I believe that there are some people who were sent to earth to help God out. To minister for Him. I am grateful for this wonderful guy. God has put into my life. We talk on the phone and IM everynight. We talk some during the day to. I appreciate everything he does for me. I have told him several times. He's a Christian, He's a little older than me. But that doesnt matter. Because he's my friend. Actually he's becoming one of my really close friends. You I finally learned that you should not have a best friend unless its your husband/wife. They should be your best friend. So I have decided I have regular friends and close friends. And well he's one of them. When I first started talking to him. I didnt know what to do. I didnt know why God put him in my life. Now I understand why God put this friend of mine in my life. To help me stay on track and keep me accountable to God. So I said all that to say this. No matter what happens in life there is always that one person there to help you up when you fall. And never forget about them. They will be there for you in thick and thin. They will encourage you through everything. If your reading this you know this is about you. Mark, I want to thank you for everything you've done for me. God Bless.

Sending love from the south, Lauren

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Hi guys. I'm writing this because of one of my good friends. Anyways He is really cool. Another one of my friends helped me realize this a couple of days ago his name is Mark. I have been struggling the past week with my faith. I've had come hard times and some easy times. But my best friend has helped me through this past week. Without Him I dont know what I would do. However had it not been for my friend Mark reading a scripture verse to me I would not of realized what I was doing with my life. 1 Peter 5:6-7 says  5Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,
   "God opposes the proud
      but gives grace to the humble."^[a] 6Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

That verse helped me realize how far from God I really was. Jesus is my best friend. You see I talk to my friend Mark every night before I go to sleep. To tell him how my day was and pretty much vent out on him. He listens and understands. My friend is much older than me. He has been through what I have been through. He understands me. Well the other night I call him crying because I couldnt stand without God anymore. I cried for like and hour on the phone with him. He listened and then told me that verse. It really helped me. This guy I have been talking about is very special to me. I am glad he is my friend. He knows who he is. And if your reading this Mark DE DE DE. lol. Thank you for all you have done for me. God Bless everybody.

sending my love from georgia

Lauren

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A youth pastor got a call from one of his student's parents. This mother wanted to bring in her heart-broken daughter for counseling. She had just been dumped by her boyfriend, and her mom didnt understand why Katie was so upset, after all it was just puppy love. Misery filled her face. The youth pastor looked across at this beautiful, fairly reserved, slightly overweight 18-year-old, it was hard to imagine what had brought her to this point of severe depression. Katie and her family had just recently joined this church. Before this appointment the youth pastor had only talked to her briefly and the conversations were very unspecific. The youth pastor broke the ice by saying, "Katie, I know you dont know me well, but from what your parents said, you are experiencing a great deal of emotional pain. Do you feel comfortable enough to share your story with me?" With tears welling up in her eyes, Katie began her story. "I guess to be perfectly honest, I hate everyone including myself right now. Over the past four years, I have become more and more dissatisfied. Nothing seems to make me happy. As you know, I would just as soon die as to live. When I was 14, my best friend, who is very outgoing and beautiful, started talking to and hanging out with all of the guys. When we would go places together, they would pay close attention to her and hardly notice that I was even there. In fact, I eventually wasn't invited to most of the outings. I remember once looking into the mirror and feeling angry and crushed because I felt so rejected. My parents tried to encourage me, but no matter what they said, I knew the truth. I was fat, shy, and ugly. My dad attempted to make me feel better by giving me nice gifts. I always had the nicest toys, then stereos, then vacations and even a car that most kids would kill for. It was interesting. At first these gifts made me feel good. But then they actually made me feel bad because I knew my dad felt pity for me. This made me feel more seld pity and doubt. My mom would try to encourage me by saying, "They just dont know you yet. Your day will come. They'll notice you, and when they do, they will know what they missed." Well, they haven't noticed. I am still a chubby, sweet girl that all the guys refer to as "like a sister." While everyone else is busy on Friday nights with their boyfriends, I sit at home, watching movies with Mopsy, Mom, and Dad. After having no interest from anyone over the years to take to a prom, you would think I would know better than to hope for a date to my junior/senior dance. But no, I actually kept the hope. Nobody ever called. Here I am, date-free at 18. What an honor. I've thought of all the "what ifs" what if I were taller, what if I had a great body, what if I were prettier, what if I had a more outgoing personality. I guess to put it in a nutshell, I feel angry at God, too. He mademe this way. I have a friend who calls herself a "left-over." What she means is that when guys can't get a date with anyone wlse, they call her as a last resort. Well, I guess that makes me a "looked over." Maybe one day I'll be promoted to the "left-overs."

This was the message my youth pastor read last night. I cried for like a half hour. B/c it hit me I relate to this girl in more ways than one. thats why I wrote this blog this morning. People need to understand this isnt a story this is someone's life. This is how they really feel. It hurts. To feel like no one cares about you and feel like your all alone. I have been single for 8 months today. And I love it dont get me wrong. But when all of your skinny friends have boyfriends. And guys stop looking your way b/c your fat. That hurts worse than anything in the world. However i know I was created in the image of God and I love myself I really do. I guess somtimes I wish to much you know. Well that is all I have for now. God Bless.

Lauren

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Hey everyone!

          Today is a new day God has given us. We should praise Him for all He's done. There have been so many times when I have just thought about myself. And I've finally realized that I need God more than I will ever know. You see me and friend are struggling right now. B/c we hardly ever talk. We have been through so much together. I dont want to lose his friendship. But at the same time its so hard to keep it. I wish I knew what to do. This guy is one of my best friends and I think I'm his best friend at least I hope I still am. You see he got a new gf and so he talks to her all the time. I wrote him so many times. No response. It hurts me alot. I love him. But its so difficult  living without talking to him at all. I wish life was a little easier. But that is never gonna happen. Well thats all I have for right now. If your reading this I want you to know I love you. You know who you are. God Bless.

Sending all my love

Lauren

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     Hi everyone!

           I hope all is well. For the past few weeks, I have been under stress. Back in December I made a mistake. You see my friend and sister werent talking to me. In fact they hadn't talked to since probably the middle of November. We're fine now. Anyways the mistake I made has caught up with me. And now I dont know what to do. I pray to God alot. Hoping one day I'll find the answer. But for now I have to get through this and be prepared. Big surprises come in small packages. I heard someone say that once. And now I understand what it means. I never thought this would ever happen to me. But it has. Now everything is coming at me so fast I cant keep up. I could use prayer. And alot of God's help right now. Thanks for letting me spill. God Bless.

Sending all my love

Lauren

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I trust God with all my heart. I know right from wrong. I made a decision yesterday b/c I knew what would happen had I said yes. Theres a guy I like. That I'm not supposed to be talking to. And I know I shouldnt. But I want to lead him to Christ. We got into a argument yesterday b/c of my decision. He said hes changed but I've heard it all b4. I dont think he has but I told him I would be his friend. I'm writing this b/c this guy used to be a big part of my life. And I dont know what to do. Part of me says go for it. And another part says think this thru. So I'm thinking it thru. But I cant seem to find an answer in all of this fog. meaning satan is trying to blind me into making a possible mistake. I broke up with this guy b/c we couldnt quit fighting. He and I both would start fights over little things. Like fought the other day b/c he said that I used to never come see him enough. You all know my dad is strict, So I would sneak to see this guy almost everyday. For like a month or two. Then I got caught and in trouble. I was ban from ever seeing this guy again. And now we have been talking almost everyday this past week. We got into it last night b/c he told me to call him back right away. And I didnt of course. I waited like 15 minutes. But I talked to him for about 20 minutes. you see dad also has this other rule I can only be on the phone with a guy for 20 minutes. Sometimes I go over 5 minutes. But he said that was fine. Anyways so I got off and felt like I should try and be his friend. I think if he would just come to my church he would see the truth and accept Christ. But I told him that I've changed and I wont date a non-christian now. B/c it would ruin my walk with Christ. I dont want to do that. I've been doing really well lately. I also told him I dont want a bf right now. To much work. hehe lol j/k. There's  this other guy that I like. I've liked him for a while but, he said he would just be my friend. Sometimes I feel torn. God Bless.

Sending all my love

Lauren

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Saying I love you

Just because

Saying I cared

all along

you understand now why im telling u this

all along

everytime I walked by you

I would stare

You couldnt understand why I dare

consider you a friend of mine

At first I thot

maybe not

But then I got to know u

And I thot and thot

we've known each other for 3 years now

And all I have to say

Is my life would be nothing without you

You know wat makes me laugh

You know what makes me cry

You wat I'm feeling without saying a thing

You know all my secrets

of guilt and shame

I know I've done things wrong

But your always there to keep me strong

I wrote so you'de understand

That just because I dont say it

doesnt mean

I dont feel it

I love you so much

You could never imagine

My best friend Charlie

Is just so fantastic

I wrote this for you. You know who you are. I love you with all of my heart. Believe me now. All of this is just because.

In Christ

Lauren

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