Now, I will tell you what I am truly thankful for this Thanksgiving. I was in the kitchen a few minutes ago and realized that I haven't spent Thanksgiving with my younger son in 6 years!!!! I am quite shaken by this and some of my past is haunting me.
When I did the small shopping and walking an hour to get my turkey and take the trolley home, with a 13 pound frozen bird in my pack, I didn't even think about this. Nor did I today, as we stood buying the last of things I needed, as he carried the basket for me.
This has been rough on me the last 5 months, being here, "strugglin' to get thru", only to realize I am very thankful and grateful to have BOTH my sons here, together with me, no matter what is on the table.
If it were not for the perseverence we three have had these years, waiting for this day to come, I would be alone and so would they...
I thank the Lord for the blessings I have in my children, no matter what they have chosen to do in all these years, they are all I have and I am grateful for them...In Jesus name, may you all have a blessed Holiday...
A DilemmaI am really wondering where I should post this...Do I post it here where no one will actually respond or do I post it to my Christian sites?
Since I got here in PC in July, I have taken care of everyone except me...I have been just surviving when I could've driven on down the road.
I got here to a major mess with my children, when all the lies and troubles were never actually exposed for what they really were.
I got talked to as if I was no one of importance, let alone "the rescuer" I tried to be. I sat by and watched daily as the drama got worse and the voices got louder. I got told "I told you so" and "shut up", but I still remained here to try and "make things better". I didn't-I only moved the trouble to a different location, with different players.
I was told by someone that I teach people how to treat me and I suppose the years of not respecting myself has come back to show me what I taught my children and the people around me.
I can respond to being a prisoner in my own house as well, my child. I have been a prisoner in alot of ways. Whether it was the actual process of losing my freedon to a real prison cuz of my selfishness or whether it was a prisoner to the addictions throughout my life. I am a prisoner of my own room now. I ask God daily to bless me with a way to solve all these dilemmas.
I ask for guidance in how to respond to the desires of everyone else but me. I have learned to be tolerent and know how to make use of my free time. But I am a prisoner of my own doing now and I regret being here every minute of the day...
