these are just a couple of rules we men have for women.  this is how we (men) function.  finally someone has taken the time to write them down, so here is our side of the story.

1)  Men are NOT mindreaders

2)  Learn how to work the toilet seat.  You're a big girl. if it is up, put it down.  You need it up, we need it down.  you dont hear us complaining about you leaving the seat down.

3)  Sunday sports, its like the full moon and the changing tides.  Just let it be

4)  Shopping is not a sport.  And no, we will never think of it that way.

5)  Crying is blackmail

6)  Ask for what you want...
let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT

7)  Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

8)  Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.  That's what we do... sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

9)  A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem.  see a doctor.

10)  Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an argument.  in fact, all comments become null after 7 days.

11)  If you wont dress like the victoria's secret girls, dont expect us to act like your soap opera guys.

12)  If you think you are fat, you probably are, dont ask us.

13)  If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

14)  You can either ask us to do something or tell us how to do it, not both.  If you already know how to do it best, do it yourself.

15)  Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during a commercial break.

16)  Christopher Columbus didnt need directions and neither do we.

17)  All men see in only 16 colors, like a windows default setting.  Peach, for example... is a fruit, not a color.  Pumpkin is also a fruit.  We have no idea what Muave is.

18)  If it itches, it will be scratched.  We do that.

19)  If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong.  we know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle and we know you will bring it up again later.

20)  If you ask a question you dont want an answer to, expect an answer you dont wanna hear.

21)  If we are going somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... really.

22)  Dont ask us what we are thinking unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

23)  You have enough clothes.

24)  You have too many shoes

25)  I am in shape.  Round IS a shape

26)  Thank you for reading this. Yes i know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really dont mind that?  It's just like camping.