I went wtih Jason to go see Chronicles of Narnia tonight. Now before you stop reading, I won't give away the story or really neat parts or whatever. Besides I think C.S. Lewis did that already. Anyway, as most people know, the entire Chronicles of Narnia series was written as an allegory to prepare children to hear the gospel when they were of age to comprehend it. Well, let me tell you this is an awesome movie. I don't know about comparing to anything or breaking it down according to plot lines or whatever, but I was absorbed into the heart of the story. I was locked into the passion that was obvious. I cried during this movie. I don't cry at movies. After the movie I made my way quickly to my car, which I was luckily driving home by myself because of what happened next. I had barely gotten the keys out of my pocket before the tears began. I got into my car and started it and then sat back and sobbed. I wept. I groaned and cried for I don't know how long really. I began to get sick, I ran out of tears. It was so strange to me. I was so distraught over my sin and treachery and the very fact that I had aided in leading others astray and all the evil I accomplished for so much of my life. I was overcome by the love and grace of a blessed perfect savior who willingly laid down his life though he had done nothing wrong. He was beaten and tortured and mocked nd then crucified on my behalf. I felt like Peter looking up at Jesus right after he had given his final denial. How Jesus' eyes must have looked......And he rose again. He gave me life, the one who had turned on him. And then he sent me into battle. And now I fight a terrible, hard war against my own flesh and the evil of this world. And I watch as my friends and loved ones are hurt and dragged down and killed and suffer at the hands of sin and death. Understand that I know about the overuse of spiritual warfare. "We're fighin' a war! Get yer gun and bible and go runnin on in!" Or however that sermon goes. But it is true. there is something going on that we don't see. But the great thing, the thing that God shed light on tonight for me was that we have won it already, the end just hasn't come. And when I think of how all the wounds and suffering others, myself have had to endure and when I think of how beyond words and comprehension being with Christ will be, I weep. I can't handle it, I can't contain it. It is as if my soul is just GROANING for the end to come, and when I contemplate these truths my soul says, "That's good. That is so good." It nourishes my soul. That is the only way I can explain it. This is the hope that we have. That out present suffering will be as nothing compared to the glory and riches found in Christ. He has given us eternal life and not only that, the resources to make it throught this journey to the end where we will be reunited with Christ. I can't handle that! I just shake my head and weep.......Jesus come quickly I long for you. But until you do, I will be here actively pursuing those you love and spreading the message of how you died for me, how you loved me and how you are coming back for me. And even more importantly that you are doing all this so that you name will be honored and every knee should bow and every tongue will confess that you are the king of kings and lord of lords ALL to the glory of the Father. This is too much for me.....you are too much for me....