There has been so much that has been going on recently, I haven't had any time to write really. One of my best friends left for Ft. Riley, Kansas this last Saturday and that was hard to see him go. I am so thankful we had a chance to repair our friendship before he left. Joe is one of the greatest friends I have ever had and I can't wait to see how God is going to use him to Impact the army. I know once he marries Danielle that they will be doing their mission work together. I lost my job Wednesday and that was a challenge. Well, I didn't "lose" it. My boss just informed me that I did not fit the position well and they needed someone who could do the work better than I could….which is true. They pretty much gave me till the end of the month which is nice. Like I said it wasn't that I was a bad employee, I just did not mesh with what they needed me to do. Not a detail guy. So if you have any job leads…… ;) I am confident that God will provide because he has said he will. In Matthew 6:35-36 he says (paraphrasing) "Don't worry about the material stuff, but seek me out and I will take care of the rest." And that is what I do. Now mind you I have updated my resume and am applying at jobs and actively searching, but I am not worried. I have bills and financial commitments of sorts, but he will provide, I have no doubt, none. Wait and see. I also may be moving out of my house within a few weeks which is hard because I love living with my roommates, but if I am going to take a pay cut, I need to cut my expenses and I believe this is the best way to do it. Also when I go to seminary which, God willing, will be in the next year, then I must remove myself from any and all potential distractions so that I can properly study. I mean TV, playstation, movies, people and all relatively shiny objects. Not that I am going to become a hermit, I don't have the capacity for that, just not built that way. Simply put I MUST FOCUS and sacrifice what is necessary to attain that with the hope that I am investing into a greater impact for the future. I will still hangout and have fun, but I must be of one mind, one primary goal to prepare myself for leading, teaching, loving, hoping, praying, giving, reproving, exhorting, discipling and dying. Some I will learn at seminary, most I will learn as I interact with people, but there are a few intellectual pursuits that I must go to seminary for and so I will go. The time for this is now. Seminary is not my ultimate goal. My ultimate goal is to impact people for the sake of Christ which means I want to introduce people to Jesus and get them connected to him so that they can have a full and vibrant relationship with their creator. Seminary is a tool I will use on my way to do this. And as I go I will do my very best to impact those around me. We are always in ministry no matter where we are at. I also had someone from my past come to me and admit a lot of things that were very hard for them to say. It was good, it was so good. Their courage showed and I saw how much they respected and cared for me, enough to come to me knowing that I could very well reject them. Honesty, tough conversations, love, hope and peace, struggles, pain, redemption, grace, justice, strength, suffering, and reparation. I am so blessed to be a follower of Christ!!! And a note on prayer. I get tired of our culture treating God like he's our fairy God-mother. I get sick of how I do it myself. "Here God, here's my list! I was good this year" or "You remember what I have gone through? You owe me!" My prayers are filled with so many me's and I's and about stuff that affects only me. I think it is great to be reminded of who it is we are talking to. We SERVE God. He is not a Genie in a bottle…..baby. He is a fierce and magnificent King who has sought fit to be merciful to his wicked servants. And he wants us to come to him, to let him know what is on our hearts and the desires we have and the pain we hold. He wants to hold us, love us, but he also wants us to be pure, holy and righteous. And we rebelled. As our King he had every right to kill us for our treachery. He also had the means, trust me. Do you think that the one who spoke the universe into existence couldn't just wipe it out or even simply cast everyone into hell? People recoil from the latter, because it seems so harsh. But the simple reality is that for God to be God, that is, for God to maintain his character, sin can not go unpunished. God is glorified through justice. The penalty for sin is death. For God to do any less would be to compromise his character, his holiness. So with the choices laid out for Him, God did what no one imagined, what no one would do. He sent that which was most precious to him to be sacrificed. God watched as we killed his beautiful boy, his perfect son. He LET it happen. He saw it fitting that he(jesus) should be crushed. I tried to cut this passage down but as I read it, I can not take anything out. Read it and know who our God is. "Who has believed our message? And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed? For He grew up before Him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of parched ground; He has no stately form or majesty that we should look upon Him, nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him. He was despised and forsaken of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and like one from whom men hide their face. He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried; Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, and by His scourging we are healed. All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; but the LORD has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on Him. He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He did not open His mouth; like a lamb that is led to slaughter, and like a sheep that is silent before its shearers, so He did not open His mouth. By oppression and judgment He was taken away; and as for His generation, who considered that He was cut off out of the land of the living for the transgression of my people, to whom the stroke was due? His grave was assigned with wicked men, yet He was with a rich man in His death, Because He had done no violence, nor was there any deceit in His mouth. But the LORD was pleased to crush Him, putting Him to grief; If He would render Himself as a guilt offering, He will see His offspring, He will prolong His days, And the good pleasure of the LORD will prosper in His hand. As a result of the anguish of His soul, He will see it and be satisfied; By His knowledge the Righteous One, My Servant, will justify the many, as He will bear their iniquities. Therefore, I will allot Him a portion with the great, and He will divide the booty with the strong; because He poured out Himself to death, and was numbered with the transgressors; yet He Himself bore the sin of many, and interceded for the transgressors." That was written by a man named Isaiah. This is what Jesus did. This is what God did. And God did it in response to our hatred for him, because for whatever reason He has chosen to love us and never forsake us. Well it's been a long write here. And here is where I make my point. When you pray, when I pray we need to take into account this fact, we need to get wrapped around this idea: God does not need us, we need God. When we present something to him, it is out of humility and thankfulness of what he has done for us. And we can go boldly to the throne because Jesus' sacrifice has made us righteous, holy. Just remember we serve the king who has done what no one would do…..loved us when we deserved to die. Now that a Christmas message!