What?  I finally have a day away from life?
And yet I still find myself submersed in life, but on the harsher side of things.  It seems like if you stay busy, problems that come up can just be pushed aside.  But once the world stops, you step off into the mess you've left behind.  You finally realize that no matter what you've accomplished in the world's eyes, you've only dug a deeper hole behind closed doors.  Sometimes it would be easier to just bury yourself in the hole, to give up and let go.  Hopefully, we would have the will power to climb out and face it.  But somehow I feel it's impossible to face when you're alone, which unfortunately, I am.  You can only sustain friends if you have time for them, and no matter how much I'd like to, I don't.  So here I am, alone in the dark on a cold, rainy saturday, just trying to feel the wind blowing through the window to know that I'm alive.  Just trying to stay alive.  Sometimes I wish God were still corporeal, so I could just reach out and touch him and be ok, or maybe I'd be blessed enough to be held in his comforting arms.  Yes, in other circumstances, it is plenty to feel His Holy Ghost running through me, comforting me.  But sometimes, you just need something concrete.  Unfortunately, there is no concrete alternative to the Lord and I don't intend to pretend there is.  I just intend to cry in his lap, as if he were here, and pray he hears just as well.

No amount of coffee, no amount of crying
No amount of whiskey, no amount of wine
Nothing else will do, I've gotta have you