My name is Marcia and I was born in Auburn NY.I went to a Catholic school for 6 years.My parents never went to church so I really don't believe they were true Catholics.My parents never taught us about our heavenly father God or the Lord.My earthly father was very abusive to me.So it was very hard to accept love from my heavenly father God.Which now I love with my whole heart and soul.

I was raped many times in my life so I had no self esteem as a kid.I left home at a very young age and stayed anywhere I could rest my head.I had many sugar daddy's in my life.They did take care of me better than my real father did and they weren't abusive to me.I felt I had to do whatever it took to servive.My mother went to see the Lord when I was 17 years old.I really turned against God for taking her away from me.My dad went a year later.My life went down hill from then.I started drinking and doing drugs all the time.I kept trying to take my life.I felt I didn't belong on this earth.I just wanted out so I didn't have to feel all the pain I felt.I was swimming in a pool and I almost drowned.I yelled for help,but the life guard thought I was only kidding around.The last time I yelled I saw my life go real fast in front of me then I heard beautiful music and saw flowers I felt so awesome.Then someone pulled me out and gave me mouth to mouth.I was so angry that they saved me.I cried and cried.They thought I was so happy he saved me ,but he was so wrong.

I met my husband and got married.He wasn't in love with me he was obessed with me.He was so jealous all the time I couldn't go to the store because he would accuse me of cheating on him.When I got home he would call me all kinds of names and beat me.So after so many beattings I decieded to started cheating on him.I thought if I was going to be beat and accused of cheating I should just do it so when he accused me it would be the truth.I started drinking and doing drugs all the time I would leave him for weeks at a time.At this time I had one child my son Damian.I took him to places you should never take a kid to,but all I cared about was my drinking and drugs.I know the Lord watched over me and my son even though I wasn't into Him.What an awesome Lord!!!He watched over me and my son and I wasn't into Him at all.My husband was a roofer at first than he ran the company.He made alot of money and I was so sad and depressed.Who ever said if they they had alot of money they would be happy and content were so wrong.I had another child and this time I had daughter her name is Latisha.I thought I would be happy,but that lasted for only a short while.I became so depressed that I went back to drinking and drugs.Nowthis time I started hiding it.How dumb like no one knew what I was doing.We had a maid so my kids were being taking care of real good.She was a little lady from Mexico.She was truely an aweome woman.She lived with us so I never had to worry about anything.I started to take off for weeks at a time because my husband was calling me names and beatting me up.We went to a marriage counciler and they told us to get away from each other or one of us would kill each other.Wow what a trip I thought they were supposed to get you back together.In other words we were not good for each other at all.Well I just kept doing my drugs and stayed in my own little world.I was very unhappy and wanted to end my life.I just wanted all this pain an hurt go away.I remembered what a friend I used to have say to me.Jesus loves me and all I have to do is ask Him to come into my life and He would come.I cried and cried got down on my knees and prayed to the Lord I asked Him to come into my life.while I was crying and praying I felt something I never felt before.It was a calm peaceful feeling.I told God I was so sorry for all the things I had done and to forgive me and never let that feeling leave.I called my friend and I told her what had happened.She was so happy she started to cry. I told her I felt so peaceful and content and that I never wanted it to leave.She told me the feeling was the Holy Spirit and it as a gift from God.She told me I needed to go to church to praise an worship Him.So I went to church with her.I had met many people from the church and started to have fellowship together.I was still doing drugs and asked the Lord to help me to quite.I knew I couldn't do it by myself.I had a dream that the Lord told me it was time to leave Calif.He didn't say where to go but just to get some sleep,because I couldn't leave high, my house was being watched by the police and they would arrest me.So I slept for three days and when I knew the drug was out of my body. Then I could do what the Lord wanted me to do.I put some clothes in a suitcase for me and the kids got al my pictures together and a few toys for the kids and got in my van and left.I really don't remember which way I was headed but I was going.I prayed and prayed.I felt so good and strong.The Lord wanted me to call my husband Nick and tell him to find my daughter which had been gone for days .The Lord told me right where she was.I told him to get her and meet me where I was if he wanted to be with me.He found my daughter and met me.He looked at me like I had two heads.He asked me what we were going to do with the house and everything in it.I forgot to tell you I had all new beautiful furniture he bought me everytime he beat me up so I wouldn't press charges against him.I had so many beautiful things from jewlery,fur coats,and furniture.I told him just to leave it and let our son and who ever wanted it to take it.My son sold some of the things,but most of it was taken from people I had living there for free.They just took everything they wanted then left.Needless to say we lost the house and everything in it.But I have all new things I didn't have to get beat up for.My husband has not hit me since we left Calif.Yes he does still call me names wen he gets mad,but I just let it go over my head.The Lord got me off all drugs and drinking.I haven't had anything for 15 years and I owe it all to the Lord.I give Him all the praise and glory!!!!!Since I have been in NY I have also quite smoking and so has my husband.I was smoking two packs a day.My husband on the other hand was smoking four packs a day.The Lord gave us both the strength and power to quite.Nick and I may not have alot of money,but we are so happy and content.I do daycare and help children that need me in their lives.I can't believe the Lord had me take care of other peoples kids when before I couldn't take care of my own.My children all just about grown up and all are doing great.My two older children are in a ministry with their church and they are so happy and content.Praise the Lord!!!!!! My two younger children are not quite there yet,but the Lord says just have faith and they too will be into the Lord.I know the Lord watchs over me and all my children.I thank Him every night for giving me back my life.I was dead and now I am alive in the Lord!!!!!!!