(I write this to give Glory to God and hope to hurting mothers) A mothers view of hell Nothing in this world can be viewed as more of a picture of hell then that of a mothers heart suffering for her child. From a mothers view the site and sounds of your child hurting causes your heart and mind to skip days of hearing, seeing, and feeling. It leaves your heart in limbo as the days go by and you don't realize that you are not breathing because you yourself are dying inside from the pain of having no control to stop your child's suffering. As a christian mom I realize and did realize that at my time of suffering Jesus was there with us as he always is, but my greatest thankfulness is that Christ walked me through this suffering when I was unable to form words. That he was God as he always has been and that he guided my wounded heart and mind and comforted me and kept me from falling apart. I walked two weeks in a breathless state. My faith never wavered but my mind and body were on hold. As I stood beside my sons bed I faked more smiles viewing his pain then I have ever faked anything in my life. My pain was not the issue, my feelings were not the issue. My son needed to see strength and hope and faith in action, not fear and despair. As I stood by his bedside and griped the bed while smiling, I pictured Jesus mother as she witnessed the sites and sounds of her son's pain and suffering. The pain levels of a mothers heart must be many, but I can say this..... when you reach a certain level of brokenness you no longer realize what level you are in until you see the pain of another mother who's suffering is at a greater level. At that point of realization thankfulness and guilt start flowing fast through your heart and mind. ...... Thank fullness that you were spared the pain level she is going through but great guilt that your pain and tears do not compare to hers. Guilt that your feelings don't compare to her level of horrors. But one thing is for sure...... as moms we all reach a certain level of pain seeing our child suffer and to each mom that level IS the deepest form of hell. Jesus hand in the form of others Grief can cause the simplest task to be an overwhelming mountain. It was in my time of grief for my son that the hand of Jesus was extended. It took the form of family and friends, co workers and Internet strangers reaching out to give prayer and financial support. Over the course of a two week period I saw the church that Jesus talked about in action. I saw members from all walks of life willing to reach out and help me. I witnessed the Love of Christ that I have always known to be true. It did not surprise me that my family and friends were there for me because they always are, we are very close. They were there to support me in my time of need and I guess I can say that I never doubted they would be because that's just how we are with each other as a family. But what did surprise me was the love that came from the Internet family of God. People I never met were willing to pray and financially support me in my time of need. I was just as surprised when my co workers took up a collection of 200.00 dollars to help pay for expenses while I was in Texas. I had only been at that job for 3 months and yet these people were willing to help me in my time of need. I saw the hand of God move starting with my husband and my family as the palm that was the base support and then all others who were willing to pray and support me were like the fingers that help grip me and comfort me during my despair. Having a family that is in the family of God is like wearing gloves.... you have the strength and support everyday that you need and when times get tough the awesome hand of God moves and others are like a glove that just slip right in and fit into the plan that God has for his people. Its not about me I dont write this so that others can think about what I went through. I write this because its not about me. Its about the Glory of God being seen in our everyday life. Its about being thankful that God is real and that he never cesess to be in control. My son was burned in Afghanistan by a suicide bomber and by the grace of God almighty he survived. He was told by a Special Forces Medic that he doesnt know how he survived that blast. Brian not only survived but will make a full recovery after a year of rehab and therapy, at which time it just so happens to be that his 4 year contract with the Army will be up. I can never say that I know the exact plans God has for each of us but I do know that in our everyday walk with him he guides us along the path of everlasting life. Each and everyone of us has a story, a walk in the wilderness with Christ and each and everyone of us need to be ready to share our story for his glory.