----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: chris
Date: Jan 10 2007 10:35 PM


Jan 10, 2007 2:00 PM
Subject The Middle Wife
Body: The Middle Wife (By an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher)

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two
kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my
own second-grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I
loved Show-and-Tell. So I always have a few sessions with my
students.
It helps them get over shyness and usually, Show-and-Tell is pretty
tame.
Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they
catch,
stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations
on
them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're
welcome to do so.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright , very outgoing
kid,
takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow
stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother,
and
I'm going to tell you about his birthday. First, Mom and Dad made
him as
a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach,
and
Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not
to
laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching
her in
amazement.

"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going,
'Oh,oh, oh,
oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. She walked around
the
house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now this kid is doing an
hysterical duck walk and groaning.

"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't
have a
sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in
bed
like this." Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.

"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case
he
got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed , like
psshhheew!" This kid has her legs spread and with her little hands are
miming water flowing away. It was too much!

"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push, and breathe,
breathe.'
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a
sudden,
out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff; they all said it
was
from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there."

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her
seat.
I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it's
Show-and-Tell
day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along.

Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this
along to
someone else to spread the laughs.

***Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy.