I'm not sure why but lately I've been up and down on the emotion rollercoaster. One day I feel like I'm on top of the world and the next I just want to leave this place. Life and stress that accompanies sometimes just isn't worth it. Why do I have these feelings? I wish they would go away. I know it would help if I pray more, but I guess I'm so stressed for time that I just feel like putting no effort into anything. My school work is suffering, my job is easy so no one notices that I am doing as little as possible to get by. I'm just such a slacker right now. I don't understand.... here I am saying what a slacker I am, yet I'm still not writing my paper or finishing my workbook homework, or pulling out my bible to read a few passages. I just want to sleep. I've put myself back in that cocoon of unsocialness and now I have to force my way out or live miserably until I get fed up enough with myself to make some changes. I guess I feel stupid trying to be that godly example to people when I feel like such a mess. How can people truly see Jesus in me when there is so much misery within? I'm scared that this won't go away when I move and then I will be 3 hrs away from the family that has slight potential to cheer me up. What am I going to do without them? Faith right. Things will get better and my Lord will send me a friend to warm my heart on my sad days.
Thank you Jesus. You are my rock.