For The Love of Life Having been through enough in my life to make some people including myself just say "Forget it I am done," "I can't do this anymore," or "Why me God?" My choice question was, "Why me God?" His answer to me was: "Why not you? What makes you so special that you cannot handle the life you were meant to lead? I will never give you more than you can handle. You are strong, and with my help you can get through anything." Through the early years of my life I faced many trials and made many tough decisions, which God helped me do. Some I regret, some I thank God I did, and some I thank God I didn't do. I really do thank God for unanswered prayers. When I was young I sometimes wanted things I shouldn't have had and I thank God for not letting me have those things, or helping me decide not to get them. God was working in my life before I even knew him. In my adult life, the real problems started. I got married at 21 and was a mother 6 months later. My husband, David, has been an epileptic since he was about 10. His seizures increased, and the doctor increased his medications. He was down to 125 lbs and taking enough medication to kill a man. Before I knew it I was taking care of 2 young children, a house, and a husband who would work 10 hours, and sleep for 12-14 hours a day. Taking care of him was like taking care of another child, but I loved him and taking care of him was part of that. David became unable to work in 1995 and I had to go to work as soon as possible to support the family. He is still unable to work now, but he is doing much better. As the years passed and they changed his medications he has gotten more control over his seizures. When my daughter was 4 she was diagnosed with severe scoliosis and between my husband, my daughter, and my accident prone son I have spend much time in ERs and in hospitals in general through the years. Not to mention money problems, medical bills, and dealing with the constant emotional strain all of this caused my children, my husband, and me. This also put a strain on my marriage. As if that wasn't enough my sister had a brain tumor and I lost her in 1998. Then I lost her son in an accident in 2004. My parents both were diagnosed with heart conditions within the last 6 years, and another sister has cancer and is going through chemo. So why do I love life?? I love life because of everything above. Because no matter what happens I know that I can handle it. In all of the things that have happened in my life so far he has been there for me and even to carry me when I was weak. He gave me the strength to face my problems head on!! Also, because of my life so far I can offer help and the knowledge of experience to those in need. I know that all my problems are not behind me, but I also know that no matter what happens I have God to comfort, guide, and strengthen me. He is my rock!! With God's help I am too stubborn to give up on life. Because of that stubbornness I now have a very strong marriage, a great family, and my financial status is improving every year. People have told me that I am strong, week, stupid to stick with it, and naïve to think that things could ever improve just because I am making the effort. Through it all I have had every emotion possible; love, anger, regret, determination, hate, disillusion, depression, thankfulness, and mad dog mean (the last, mostly when dealing with insurance companies, doctors, nurses, and the government) just to name a few Currently it is love and determination that keep me going. I still sometimes feel down when things are bad but now I have a shoulder to lean on!! I love life because what you put into it is what you get out of it! I love life because God created me, is always with me, and loves me!! PS: I am not writing this to air my trash, just to share my experience, so that when others want to give up they can realize that there is a way to get through and they can do it! I trust God to put in the right persons hands when they need it most. God Bless!! Debbie