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Hi dear friends. I am requesting another prayer request to help me move out and apply for divorce. The two weeks away I became very clear as to what I needed to do.  First I cried a lot and then I prayed continually and it became clear to me that I needed to proceed in this divorce since my marriage is killing me slowly.  And the closer I get to God the further away I get from my husband.  I know I am doing the right thing, now I need to get enough money to proceed.  For an apartment and for the divorce.  I love my friends on JCF and think this is a wonderful place to be. Please pray for this situation that I am trying to get out of. I really appreciate it. Thank you dear friends.  Love and hugs, Kimmy

I have come to terms through much prayer, reading scriptures and reality check that I must choose divorce. He is even being nice right now, but only to gain control back. He is starting to slip back in old ways. It is also said that one must be wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove. This is how I am proceeding with leaving. Idaho is also a community law state so there won't be too much trouble in getting what I need to get a clean start. I just will lean in his favor of him having the house. I cannot tell you how much pain I am in. We tried marriage counseling years ago, he won't go by the catholic teachings as far as marriage goes, not even marrying me in the church, nor does he love me as God loves the church. That hurts me too. The pain leads me into depression and self destructive behaviors and an unhappiness beyond description. It hurts to know that I am not really loved by him at all, he is just being civil for the time being. I cry more than I smile, it is pure torture and I want to rush out, but I will lose too much if I do so. This is one of those times that a good cry doesnot cleanse the soul. I need a peace that I have not had in a long, long time. I am so scared to go from a controlled enviroment to a place where I am alone. Eleven years of controlling me. Bu belittling, judging, yelling and throwing things at me because of his tantrums and then turn around and want sex. Sorry to be so blunt, but this is my life, he also has me trapped without a car. He gave his son a car and he drives a truck. But I do not have a way out of the house. I am on disablity for several reasons, but I can drive. How long do I need to wait? What do I need to do to get things in order? Where are my resources? How do I conquer my fears and not be defeated by self destructive behaviors? I don't want to just talk about this, I need to do something now. Any advice or thoughts and prayers will be greatly appreciated.

I have survived a lot in my life including deaths, illnesses, and a divorce previous in my life and God has forgiven me. I have not been happy in this marriage, just hurt, will God forgive another divorce? I know His love is faithful, but we are to be faithful to Him as well. I am starting to make moves to be getting a divorce and yet I love my husband in certain ways but not as a child and belittled prisoner that I am to my husband. It makes me sick most of the time to think what I put my daughter through with this husband. She says she has not seen me happy in many years that I have been with this husband. I sinned in living with him for two years, so I thought I had to marry him..know where I am getting at? I really want out of this depression and living with him is not going to make that ever happen because he encourages the depression. That I want to cut again shows me how wrong this situation is, can God change that or should I divorce. Understand how hard this is for me to ask God to forgive me twice. I love God more than ever. Will He forgive me again? I am in the search for happiness. And I am so confused about the whole thing.

I am grateful for all those who have been lifting me up, I truly am and I appreciate it as I need the strength from God to help do what I am about to do for I have finanly realized I have to change my situation and get out of this dead end all consuming marriage of mine. I know the Lord says not to divorce but He would not want us to stay in an abusive situation would he? I thank God for my friends that I have found here and I love them all. I didn't mean to drain you out I just needed a prayer to do what I am about to do, thank you everybody for their love and encouragement.

I wish I could get a handle on my physical and emotional pain, instead of being mocked by my husband, he of all people should understand after all he is a pwychiatrist instead he uses his knowledge to abuse me emotionally.  He definitely has me pinned down. I am so sad to have to go it alone yet I know I have comfort from my friends here on JCFaith and I want to express my gratitude for that. It helps when I am on the computer instead of along and bearing the pain. But I am at loss on what to do with my life, I am too poor to leave him so I am pinned down. And he is on disabilaty like I am. I am just writing tonight because I can't stand the burden alone all of the time. My daughter got me out of the house yesterday, I adore her. I am carless and trapped in here by myself or most of the day with him yelling at me because he can't stand that we are both on disability. I could use some comfort. Thanks for being my friends in all of this.