Hey everyone.  There has been a lot going on with me lately and it is quite personal, so there is only one that truly knows what is happening with me and that is God.  I am really needing Him and His love and strength more than I ever have before in my life.  I need to allow Him to be my everything.  I need answers from Him and though I am scared of what He will say, I still need to hear them. 

I hate change.  I hate that moment when something happens and you know there is no going back, no forgetting, no just letting it slide.  That feeling where you know that nothing will ever be the same again.  My life is about to change drastically and the only way to get through this is with Jesus by my side.  I KNOW that I cannot make it without Him. 

Therefore, I come to you in need of great prayer for me and my family.  Please, please pray for His strength, wisdom, love, PROVISION and guidance.  I am not sure how to move forward or what I should do, but I know that God has answers for me and I am desperately searching for them.  Only God can direct me on this and I know that He will. 

Please keep me and my family in your prayers.

Thank you so much.

In Him,

Marci

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The Almighty Search

By: Marci Duncan ©

I went for a walk in the rain one day. Not sure what I would find. The pain in my chest was more than I could bear. I walked several miles until I came upon a park. Through the rain I spotted a man settled comfortably on a park bench with an umbrella over his head. He was not wet at all and smiled at me as I came closer to him. I was sopping wet and could feel the cold rain all the way through my clothing.  

"Would you like to come out of the rain my dear?" He called out over the rain. "No, that's okay, thank you." I called back, just a little nervous at the awkwardness of his charity. 

He looked at me earnestly and soon I found something in his eyes that made me more at ease. He moved the umbrella up again and I swear it got bigger. I blinked through the rain and walked a little closer. The seat next to him was dry. As I reached my hand toward the dry seat my hand was warmed."Maybe I will sit for a minute." I smiled nervously in wonder.  

He smiled knowingly and nodded his head. When I sat down the most amazing thing happened. Not only was I warm and dry but I could not hear the rain anymore. All my senses came alive with the smell of lilacs and evergreens. When I looked around I was so shocked to find that the park I had been walking in had disappeared and in it's place was a beautiful meadow full of tall grass and flowers all surrounded by beautiful old trees that reached up to the heavens. 

"What is this place?" I asked in awe. 

The man only smiled and pointed as two baby deer cautiously crept from the darkness of the forest. They seemed so tiny compared to the wide range of the meadow. Their walk was wobbly and they didn't wander too far from where they came. They nibbled on some grass all the while watching in every direction in case of a danger they knew not. 

I could feel their fear as we heard the sound of rustling on the other side of the forest. I turned to see the orange stripes of a tiger as it quietly entered the long grass. My heart pounded for the little dear. I looked to the man; he too had seen the tiger before I had time to say anything he got up, the umbrella in the same position never moved, though its holder was gone. I could not see him anywhere. What a time to disappear I thought to myself. In time of need, he leaves. But a thought crossed my mind, hadn't he been there when I was cold and in need? 

I watched as the deer stood still with their ears twisting toward the noise from the grass. The tiger was much closer now; it crept along fast making quiet rustling sounds in the grass. I could see even from where I was the little does heart's were jumping wildly, but for some reason, they were frozen with fear, it was as if they were glued to the very spot they stood. 

The noise got louder and before a scream could leave my throat the Tiger jumped out of the grass and dove straight towards the deer. In a flash something leapt from the forest and smashed straight into the Tiger. It was fast but I knew what it was, it was a buck, and a large one at that. I had never seen one so big. Its antlers were thick and large. The buck stood in front of the two baby deer as they stood huddled together. The Tiger screamed loudly, so loudly that I had to put my hands over my ears as it echoed through the trees. In the eyes of the buck was something strange. It was familiar, soft yet stern. The Tiger walked back and forth in a line as it growled. The buck bowed its head and then looked into the Tigers eyes. Before I knew what was happening the tiger turned away and cantered back to the other side of the forest. 

My heart was beating wildly I could hardly believe my eyes. Why would that tiger just leave? Was the buck really stronger? These questions swirled around and around in my mind so much so that I did not even see that the buck was walking straight towards me. By the time my mind came back I was staring into the very eyes of that frightened Tiger. These eyes so strange yet so familiar. They were deep as the ocean and intense as the as jagged rocks. I kept thinking that I should be afraid, but something inside me told me that there was nothing to fear. I questioned with my eyes wondering what was happening, what was this and where had the man gone. Before I could finish the thought, the buck lowered his long neck and his eyes never lost mine. His head was close to mine and I could feel his breath on my face. I wanted to close my eyes, I wanted to run, but something kept my eyes open and my feet still. There was something almost hypnotic about his eyes. They grew kind and loving in a blink of an eye. The eyes that glared into the Tigers were looking into mine with warmth and love. The buck stepped forward and disappeared, before I had time to question anything the man sat again in his seat, holding the umbrella over my head as if he had never moved. 

A quiet understanding leapt into my heart and knowledge that even now I cannot describe. I think that it is a quest that we all must seek privately. But I can tell you one thing. As I sat on that bench looking into the eyes of that friendly gentleman who offered me a seat when I was sopping wet, I was changed. His smile was warm and he nodded his eyes never leaving mine. It wasn't said, it was just known, deep inside of me, my heart knew everything was going to be all right. 

"Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet; then stick to the path and stay safe (*). Remember the Lord is close to all who call on Him, yes, to all who call on Him sincerely (**)." 

As he finished speaking he drew up the umbrella and the rain came down and washed away the meadow. As it faded I watched the as the trees grew into buildings and the grass turned into small trees and the flowers into playground equipment. 

I looked beside me and the man was gone. But that feeling in my heart wasn't. Something told me I had seen him before, and even still that I would see him again. I stood up and walked towards home and as I did the rain slowly started to let up. By the time I got home the sun was warm and the blue sky spread through the distance. Over my house was a beautiful rainbow in colors so deep that I had never seen them before. I took a deep breath and entered my home changed.  

The End 

"When the rainbow is in the clouds, I will look upon it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth." Genesis 9:16 

(*) Proverbs 4:25-26

(**) Psalm 145:18 

© 2007, Marcia R. Duncan All rights reserved.
No republication of this material, in any form or medium, is permitted without express permission

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Hi everyone.  I come to you all to petition you to pray for my office.  My boss will be going on vacation for a week and then the following week, I will be gone on vacation.  We are all VERY stressful right now.  I know that God can help us through this.  My boss is on overload and my coworker and I are doing everything possible to make it as easy for her as we can.  We are both Christians and go to the same church, so I know that makes a HUGE difference!  Please pray for my boss to have peace this last week that she is here.  Pray that God’s hand will be on her to help her through this.  That next week would go smoothly and that while I am gone, the Lord would make it an easy week for them.  We have been blessed with a lot of business and we are so thankful.  I just pray that we have the capacity to fulfill the need.  I know that with God ALL things are possible, so I pray that God would be with us all and help us through this.  I pray for His grace and strength in the name of Jesus!

Thank you all for praying, please pass this around.  Prayer is powerful and I know that what we can’t, God CAN!

Thanks so much.

Love,

Marci

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Hello everyone,

I am a direct decendent of Peter, and I am here to plead his case.  I was talking to my friend Stacey the other night and I shared with her my view on Peter.  You all know Peter, he is the one who tried to walk on water with Jesus and who professed that he would never deny Christ.  Here are my thoughts when compared to my own life...

I love Jesus.  I have a personal relationship with Him.  He is my everything.  But even so, I still have the hardest time in keeping faith.  Now, here is where my great great great etc grandfather Peter and I compare...

Jesus Walks on the Water Matthew 14:22-31

    ²²Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. ²³After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, ²⁴but the boat was already a considerable distance^[a] from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

    ²⁵During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. ²⁶When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.

    ²⁷But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

    ²⁸"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."

    ²⁹"Come," he said.

   Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

    ³¹Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

 So many times in my life I have been eager like Grandfather Peter to step out into the water; that is the childlike faith inside of us.  It says go where God leads and do what He says.  Then you get there and you think, this is crazy!  What was I thinking, certainly this cannot be the will of God.  How many of you have said that one?  Like Grandfather Peter I have ended up under the water.  When we chase what we percieve to be the will of God, often times we end up all wet, not because of the Lord leading us wrong, but our perception is plauged by this world.  We see impossibles and the couldn't be's because we look through worldly eyes.  But, that first childlike faith that says, step out in to that water, well, that is Jesus calling us from the boat.  I can't tell you how many times I have fallin in that water, or have not gotten out of that boat.  BUT, that never meant that I didn't believe in the Lord, it was that I doubted my ability to hear Him correctly.  Not that I doubted Him.  I believe that my great great great etc grandfather Peter would tell you much of the same if he were here today. 

Like his argument with Jesus about denying Him.  I believe that Peter in that moment believed that he could NEVER deny Jesus, he loved him very much.  Remember that conversation?...

Jesus Predicts Peter's Denial  Matthew 26:31-35

    ³¹Then Jesus told them, "This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written:
   " 'I will strike the shepherd,
      and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.'^{[c] 32}But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee."

    ³³Peter replied, "Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will."

    ³⁴"I tell you the truth," Jesus answered, "this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times."

    ³⁵But Peter declared, "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you." And all the other disciples said the same.

Grandfather Peter, I have been there.  I cannot tell you how many times I have said Lord, I could never deny you, never turn my back on you, never forsake you.  Then there was that time that I didn't tell someone about You and our relationship.  Then there was that time I got hurt and angry over something I couldn't have and I turned and walked away from you.  And that time that decided my will for my life was more important.... the list goes on.  But never, ever did I stop loving Him.  It was the same for grandfather Peter.  How about you?  Are you like my great great great etc. grandfather?  Remember, we all make mistakes, and we all fall short of the glory of God, but we must always remember that God's Grace never falls away from us.  Jesus still loves grandpa Peter, and He still loves me, and you know what?  Yes, take a deep breath, HE STILL LOVES YOU.

May His grace, peace and love create in your heart today a new love for Jesus and remember that He loves you no matter how many times you try to push Him away, for whatever reason.  His love is everlasting.  Allow that childlike faith to overtake you to new hights in faith and trust that Gods plan may not always seem rational in this world, but also remember that WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

Be blessed and loved in Him,

Marci

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(this is wrote yesterday)

Hi everyone, I just wanted to stop in and say hey.  A lot has been changing in my life and I am so happy!  God has gone to great lengths to bring me closer to His heart and it has blessed me beyond all measure.   First of all the most wonderful thing in the whole wide world is happening.  RACHEL IS COMING HOME!  YAYAYAYAYAY!!!! I still can't believe it.  I am just overcome with happiness and joy!  

And the second thing, is God is pulling me back into my church.  It is as if He swooped down and placed me right in the middle of it all.  Last night at church we had a speaker who told us that we need to leave room for God to come into our lives and interupt us.  He did that to me last week.  He totally interupted my whole life last week when He brought Rachel.  It was as if He came into my life and pulled weeds.  Now I am looking around going okay God, now what!  I am totally humbled and full of shame for walking away from the church.  I was full of so much anger and pain at first, but now, I am just ready to begin to heal.

I am so thankful for the changes that are happening.  Now I am trying to keep my life open to see old friends and make new ones.  Now, I have to learn to forgive myself and open up again.  I have been closed off for a long time. I have been in seclusion for too long.    its time to come out of hiding.  Thanks Mychal.

God bless you all!

Marci

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The good the bad and the ugly

So much has happened in the past week that I am totally overwhelmed.   I don't even know where to begin, except I guess at the beginning.  My best friend Rachel came to visit from Austin.  She came in Monday night.  It has been such a whirlwind; there was so much to do!  So if we missed anyone, please do not take offense, it has been INSAINE!  We went to church a lot and took a trip to the beach.  We ran all over town and back.  There was a lot of emotion.  She left early this morning to go back to Austin.  God was doing some really awesome things while she was here and one great and wonderful thing is that He called her back to Oregon.  YES, she is moving back here.  Thank you JESUS! 

So much has changed since she left Oregon back in 2003.  Nothing felt right to me anymore.  I gave up a lot and entered into seclusion inside of myself that I hadn't even realized.  I have changed so much and I am not the same anymore.  I have made so many mistakes and have hurt a lot of people in the process.  Thursday night when I went to the college group (our old stomping grounds), I was so angry.  I was angry at God for taking Rachel away from me and I was angry at Rachel for leaving.  I was hurt and I couldn't even worship.  This made me feel terrible and I ended up warring with myself deeply about it. 

When we saw one of our Jr. Hi kids at College group, I was in such shock.  We saw BOB  hehe that isn't his name but that is what we called him.  We have seen him around all over since Thursday.  He came up to us because he recognized us.  When I first saw him I knew that I knew him.  Then I remembered he was our little "worm eatin" friend from Jr. Hi Camp.  He is playing in the band in the high school group now.  He has come so far!  I am so proud of him.  That brought back a lot of emotion.  Bless his heart. 

As the week rolled on and things got busy I stuffed a lot of hurt and pain and anger so that we could just enjoy the time we had and to help her to find her way in all of this.  God is doing awesome and wonderful things in her right now.  It will be awesome to see where He leads her.  By Sunday, we were starting to feel real sad.  When we went to church, something changed significantly inside of me.  I have always felt like I soared in the shadow of Rachel's wings.  I felt I was kind of the one under the radar in our group of friends.  When she left I was so torn and I walked away from church, the Jr. Hi everything that had to do with her, because facing it without her hurt too much.  I moved on in my life, and learned how to go it alone, but in the process I got left behind.  I felt that I had let so many people down, especially my Pastors that I worked with.  One in particular I felt I had really abandoned; I also believed he hated me.  When I saw him, I was nervous.  You know what, he welcomed me with a smile and hug and brought me to tears.  He hadn't forgotten about me, he still has my picture in his office.  I cried so hard because I felt that I was forgotten all this time.  I didn't even realize how much I missed everyone.  How much I missed my Jr. Hi kids, how much I missed my Pastors, how much I missed being loved by the people of my church.  I broke.  I totally broke.  Especially when our friend Mychal told Rachel that God said it is time for me to come out of hiding.  I am so shut off from everyone, not just church, but family and friends too.  I have been stuck for so long and I am not even sure where to start to fix this.  All I know is that I cannot do this on my own.  I have to stop holding back and stuffing all this pain all the time.  I have to stop keeping myself away from the people who love me and allow them to help me through this.  For the first time in almost 4 years I can honestly say that I am not okay.  But, I will be.  I know that God is doing a lot right now.  It is time to let go of the past and follow into the future that God has for me.  I am so scared because I am not sure where to start or what to do, but I am faithful that God will help me through. 

This song Walk sung by By The Tree has really helped me in the past and it is about time that I really meditate on what it is saying and allow God to help me walk away from the life I have been leading and open myself, my home and my life to the church and to the people that God has blessed me with.

I am walking into a new season and though I walk through the valley of the shadow death, I shall fear no evil for Thou art with me.

Please keep me in your prayers.

Marci

Walk

By the Tree

Take a walk down, down, down
Down to the other side
Take a walk with me
Take a walk down, down, down
Down to the other side
Let your heart be free
Take a walk down, down, down
Down to the other side
Take a walk with me

Chorus:
If you just walk away
Soon the pain will fade
And if you just close your eyes
You will find the light

Close your eyes, close your eyes now
You can feel the morning sun, feel it on your face
Close your eyes, close your eyes now
Reach for the Holy One, realize His grace

HE will dry your tears
And take away your fears

(this blog was for last week)

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Hi Everyone,

I just had to post a praise report today.   I have been really struggling the past couple of weeks with some issues.  I was watching Joel Osteen, I think it was Valentines Day, and he said the neatest thing.  To pray in advance.  Before monday rolls around and you know that those days are hard days for you, pray friday or saturday or sunday about monday.  Pray in advance so that your spirit man is covered.  You know how the verse goes "Do not worry about anything, instead pray about everything, thank God for what He has done..."  I have adapted that prayerful spirit, and I am telling you everyday I have prayed and prayed, the big stuff, the little stuff and I am seeing those prayers answered one after the other.   Praying to work harder, be in a better mood, be more helpful to those around me, praying for people that are having a hard day.  All these things and I am seeing God move all over the place.  I have watched Him change my attitude towards things, people, I have watched Him take worry from my heart and heal me.  I have watched Him literally take a bad attitude in those around me and humble them.  I am just in awe of His powerful works.   Everyday more and more I am seeing His change in my life and in the lives of those around me.  I am so thankful that He spoke to me through Joel Osteen AGAIN  and helped me to see that praying ahead of time really does make a difference, and staying in a prayerful spirit really makes a difference in everyday life.   

And, I have learned by watching my best friend Stacey (love ya Timon)  in how to hand all things over to God and allow Him to lead me.  When she came to visit me last summer, I remember sitting there listening to her talk about things and seeing how much she leaned on God for everything, it inspired me greatley.  It made me really look at my life and see that I had a lot to pray about!   I prayed that I could be like her...asking Him before I did things, making sure everything in my life was 100% covered by God.  Now she would argue with me that she isn't perfect,  that she has her times of struggle, but I know that deep in her heart, God is her EVERYTHING.  That is how I want to be.  I wanna be like Stacey when I grow up!    I cannot thank her enough for being such an inspiration to me.  It has made a ginormous difference in my life and my relationship with our Father.   

God answers prayers, He hears His children, and He loves us beyond anything we could ever imagine. 

God also healed a family friend of mine, Jan, from Cancer! 

I am so blessed to be loved by God!

God is good my friends.  Stick close to Him and pray, pray, pray!

Love you all,

Marci

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In precious memory of my beloved Teacher, mentor and friend.

Mrs. Caren Mullins.  November 12,2006

Too well loved to be forgotten.

Mrs. Mullins was not only my teacher, not only my mentor, but she was my friend.  She was the only teacher I ever had who really loved and understood me.  She gave me so much patience, kindness and love.  Her memory will live on forever in all of those whose lives she touched.  She was an encouragement to her friends, family, students and community.  I will NEVER forget her or what she meant to me.  I will miss her more than words could ever express. 

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