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Just wanted to let you all know that I am selling blankets that are perfect for a gift. I can make custom ones if I am able to find the material. I have some pictures of the different fleece, cotton and "Quilted" material on my page. Any questions please feel free to ask. Thanks and God Bless, Kim

:angel:I wanted to share an experience I had while I was in the hospital. I went in for a very painful flare. Several times during the first 12 hours I was calling out for God to take me home. I truly thought I was on deaths door. Then the last time I called out to Him I had this calming peace about me and could hear Him (not audible) saying "Daughter I'm not done with you. I know the plans I have for you! Well when I was coming home and listening to Mercy Me's "Homesick". I had heard it before but this time I sat and really listened to the words. WOW!! That is so how I felt! Just wanted to share. Kim

Another way to explain my Lupus this is a letter I found online and it will help explain what I go through everyday. PLEASE READ ALL OF IT!!! thank you LETTER TO NORMALS I THOUGHT SINCE I JUST HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL FOR MY lUPUS i WOULD SHARE THIS WITH YA'LL Having LUPUS means many things change, and a lot of them are invisible. Unlike having cancer or being hurt in an accident, most people do not understand even a little about LUPUS and its effects, and of those that think they know, many are actually misinformed. In the spirit of informing those who wish to understand...... These are the things that I would like you to understand about me before you judge me.... - Please understand that being sick doesnt mean Im not still a human being. I have to spend most of my day in considerable pain and exhaustion, and if you visit I probably dont seem like much fun to be with, but Im still me stuck inside this body. I still worry about school, and work and my family and friends, and most of the time I'd still like to hear you talk about yours too. -Please understand the difference between "happy" and "healthy" .When you've got the flu you probably feel miserable with it, but Ive been sick for years. I cant be miserable all the time, in fact I work hard at not being miserable. So if you're talking to me and I sound happy, it means I'm happy. That's all. It doesnt mean that Im not in a lot of pain, or extremely tired, or that Im getting better, or any of those things. Please, dont say, "Oh, youre sounding better!" I am not sounding better, I am sounding happy. If you want to comment on that, you're welcome. -Similarly, please understand that many of my symptoms arent always visible to people who dont know me well. So if you see me and I look well, this doesnt mean Im not in pain, or exhausted or too shaky to write or sometimes even move, or havent lost sensation, or am not having heart problems etc. Please dont say Well you look alright! especially if Ive just told you I feel ill/have been very ill. I can look ok and be very ill. Telling me I look ok not only wont help me feel better but will make me feel you are casting doubt on the fact I feel so bad. Feeling sick is hard enough without having to continually battle to make people believe you are. -Please understand that being able to stand for ten minutes doesnt necessarily mean that I can stand up for twenty minutes, or an hour. And, just because I manage to stand up for ten minutes yesterday doesnt mean that I can do the same today. With a lot of diseases youre either paralyzed, or you can move. With this one it gets more confusing. -Please repeat the above paragraph substituting "sitting", "walking", "thinking", "being sociable" and so on.... it applies to everything. That's what LUPUS does to you. -Please understand that LUPUS is variable. It's quite possible (for me, its common) that one day I am able to go to work, while the next day I'll have trouble getting to the kitchen. Please don't attack me when I'm ill by saying "But you did it before!" if you want me to do something then ask if I can. In a similar vein, I may need to cancel an invitation at the last minute, it this happens please do not take it personally. -Please understand that "getting out and doing things" does not make me feel better, and can often make me seriously worse. Telling me I need a treadmill , or that I just need to lose (or gain) weight, get this exercise machine, join this gym, try these classes... may frustrate me to tears, and is not correct....if I was capable of doing these things , don't you know that I would? I am working with my doctor and physical therapist and am already doing the exercise and diet that I am suppose to do. Another statement that hurts is, "You just need to push yourself more, exercise harder..." Obviously LUPUS deals directly with the immune system, and because our immune systems don't work the way yours do this does far more damage than good and could result in recovery time in days or weeks or months from a single activity. Also, LUPUS may cause secondary depression (wouldnt you get depressed if you were hurting and exhausted for years on end!?) but it is not created by depression. -Please understand that if I say I have to sit down/lie down/take these pills now, that I do have to do it right now...it cant be put off of forgotten just because I'm out for the day (or whatever). LUPUS does not forgive. -If you want to suggest a cure to me, don't .It's not because I don't appreciate the thought, and it's not because I dont want to get well. It's because I have had almost every single one of my friends suggest one at one point or another. At first I tried them all, but then I realized that I was using up so much energy trying things that I was making myself sicker, not better. If there was something that cured, or even helped, all people with LUPUS then we'd know about it. This is not a drug company conspiracy, there is worldwide networking (both on and off the Internet) between people with LUPUS, if something worked we would know. -If after reading that, you still want to suggest a cure, then do it, but dont expect me to rush out and try it. I'll take what you said and discuss it with my doctor. In may ways I depend on you....people who are not sick....I need you to visit me when I am too sick to go out....Sometimes I need you to help me with the shopping, cooking or cleaning. I may need you to take me to the doctor, or the physical therapist. I need you on different levels...you're my link to the outside world...if you don't come to visit me then I might not get to you . ...and, as much as it's possible, I need you to understand me.

Lupus is an autoimmune disease. Which means your WBC, the cells that fight infection, turn against the healthy cells. So basically my body is attacking itself. It can affect almost every organ in the body. My liver and brain are the organs Lupus likes to attack. I am on a medicine that helps with the affects Lupus has on my brain: Such as, stuttering, loss of concentration, short-term memory loss, and extreme mood swings. When I am overly tired or stressed is when those symptoms tend to show themselves. I am on 10 medicines that I will be on the rest of my life. There is no cure for lupus. Lupus is difficult to diagnose because it mimics so many other illnesses. To be Officially diagnosed there are like 14 symptoms you have to have at least 4 of them. After I read them youll see why it is hard to diagnose. 1. Achy painful joints* 2. fever over 100* 3. Arthritis* 4. Extreme fatigue* 5. skin rash* 6. Anemia* 7. kidney involvement 8. pain in the chest on deep breath 9. Butterfly Rash across the nose and cheeks* 10. Sun or light sensitivity (fluorescent bulbs)* 11. hair loss* 12. abnormal blood clotting problems* 13. seizures 14. mouth and nose ulcers* There are numerous blood test they do to get a true diagnosis, there are so many I could not even tell you them all. When I was diagnosed I had 11 of the 14 I just read. I was put on medicines that help some, but the symptoms are never fully away. Lupus can have periods of remission (just like a cancer patient) or flare ups which is when the disease is active. In the six years since being diagnosed there have been more flare ups then remission. God has blessed me with a very patient, loving husband but bless his heart, he has never accepted my disease until one night. Brian is a fixer and if he admitted I had lupus he would have to admit he could not fix this for me. He knew what the symptoms where (and a lot of them I covered with a mask that most have seen, my Im fine mask) but had not seen the outward affects of Lupus, he had only known what I told him about the inside. One Tuesday night 2 years ago I was doing wash and had a new box of detergent that I could not get a hold of the tab you pull to open. I was sobbing as I handed the box to him and asked him to open it for me. I had no strength in my hands. Living with chronic pain and fatigue is a constant roller coaster ride of good days and bad days. I have to ration my spoons to get through the day. I started out my life with living like I was invincible, but now I have to live hour by hour. It seems that Lupus surfaces @ precisely the most inconvenient times, making long range and even daily planning impossible. It has been very hard not to be angry about this. I went from a very active 28 year old to a 34 year old that cant do the things I want to do. What I was really angry about was Lupus and the difficult changes it brought to my life. I hated the limitations it put on my life. I was just plain angry that I was sick and everyone around me was well. It breaks my heart when my children ask me Mommy are you sick again? I know the day is coming that I wont be able to do things with them like I would if I werent sick. I have gone through so many different emotions. I have felt cheated; I have been thrown into an idle world where nothing awaited me but my disease. I have felt guilty; I could not carry my own weight whether it be money or housework. The more help I needed, the more inadequate and dependent and guilty I felt. I was also actually jealous when my family would go do things without me because I physically was not able. I am now ready to find joy in this disease. I have not asked for healing in a long time, if God chooses to heal me He will, if not I accept this. God did not allow me to have this disease if He did not want me to use it in some way. I truly believe that you may not know it, but you could be helping someone through a problem just by seeing how you handle it.

I gave my testimony to the teens at my church. I don't like to relive that time but it's shows how far I have come, how God is using me.(the * is where I took out a name) The Testimony of Kim I was raised in church my whole life. I knew that I was living the Christian lifestyle on the outside but not on the inside. I had a very loving family; my dad just did not know how to show me love. When you hear Dr. Phil say, Daddies need to affirm their love for their daughters, this is so true. I knew my dad loved me, but he had no idea how to show fatherly love in the way I needed. So I went elsewhere to find it. I knew the entire time that when I was living the life of the bad girl during the week and the good girl on Sunday it was eventually going to catch up with me. Sooner or later, I would have to face the consequences. I was very young when I lost my virginity. Sadly, it was not with my husband, Brian. I got in with a crowd that didn't look like your typical "Partiers", but the next thing I knew I was involved in drugs and alcohol. Many a night I would come home and have to be helped by my mom and boyfriend down the hall to get my drunken butt in bed. I still remember the look of disappointment in my mother's eyes. (If she only knew the half of it!) I think one of the things that pulled me out of the "good" crowd into the "bad" crowd WAS peer pressure. I know that peer pressure has not changed since I was your age, the drug of choice or drink of choice may have, but the Ultimate Tempter is the same Satan will use whatever means he can to claim more souls for himself. The point in my life that was my "Ultimate Life Changing Experience" happened in January 1991. But the road that led me to that point started 6 months earlier. I went to church one Sunday and was introduced to a guy from New York named ****. He was in Ohio to play in the same softball tournament I was in. My present pastor had been his former pastor in New York. That is what brought him to our church that Sunday. After the tournament ended, I went to New York with **** and his family. Everything was great for the first couple of months. On one of the visits, I decided to get intimate with him, and that is what got the ball rolling down the hill. Let me tell you from experience that if a guy tells you he loves you or will love you more once you "Do IT", he is feeding you a bunch of junk. More often than not he will never speak with you again. If he truly loved me he would not have even worried about whether I had sex with him or not. I know you probably have heard that many times from your parents, but from my experience I know that is so true. Remember, God said: "Love is patient". Two months later **** flew me in for New Years Eve. I should have known as soon as I got to the airport that something was not right. He was not there to pick me up; his dad was. The excuse his dad gave was that his son "was sick". Hours into the visit would change the direction of my life forever. My boyfriend asked his father and me to go to the store to get him some OJ and Popsicles. On the way back, his dad pulled into a dark parking lot. I had already been feeling something was up. Well, to make a long, emotional story short his father tried to rape me. He said that "They liked keeping it in the family and if his son could "get some" then so could he!!" Talk about panic!! I kept praying to get out of there. Finally I was able to get him away from me and take me back to their place. When we got back I told **** that I was calling my parents and was leaving as soon as I could. He had such a temper that I was afraid to tell him in person what had happened so, I told him that I would let him know from home. I got on the phone with my mom about 10 p.m. and was on the line with her until my flight could leave the next morning. I was frightened that if I got off the phone that he or his father would come out to where I was. **** did not take me to the airport; good 'ol Dad did. Once I got back to Ohio, his dad kept calling trying to get me to come to the phone. When that did not work, he knew that my parents where fully aware of what happened. ****finally called and spoke with my mom, not knowing I was on the other line. I had already spoken with his sister earlier to find out that this was nothing new. She told me that her dad he had done this before. **** told my mom that I was lying and just trying to get back with him. I kept thinking, "What in the world did I have to gain by making something like that up!!!" Enough of that! I struggled with conviction for a few weeks. I finally realized all I had heard growing up about God loving me no matter what was true. I understood that all I had to do was ask his forgiveness and trust Him. By doing that, my old life could be wiped clean with the strongest cleaner; Christ's own blood. Every desire to find that "male love" was fulfilled when I found the only Man who could give me the love I NEEDED and had loved me from the time He placed me in this world. The light that had been blinding me at the end of the tunnel I had been recklessly traveling was finally in focus now. The darkness was behind me. I now have a light that guides my way. I know when I ignore that light, that the path is full of hidden stumps and many curvy roads. So I try my best, with the Lords help, to stay on the path that He intended for me. There are times that it is hard to stay on the straight and narrow path. To stand against temptation I need to stand with Christ. If I could give one bit of advice; don't give away the precious gift of your virginity to anyone but the one God intends to be your future spouse. That is a gift too precious to spend on someone whom you may never see again. I can tell you that going into a marriage without that gift (whether it be you, your spouse or both of you) will be a stumbling block. It may not show itself for awhile, but when the day comes that you're fighting with your spouse it will be thrown up in some way. That is the devil's way of keeping a little unhappiness in our minds. God is not the one reminding me of what I did in my past; he has already forgiven me of those sins. It is the Devil trying to make me feel guilty: unworthy of the Father's love. But like I have told many of you, "The next time the Devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future (Revelation 20)." Our God is a God of Love, forgiveness and second chances. Try your best to keep that gift of purity for the one the Lord intends for you to marry. If you have already lost that gift, ask the Lord to help you deal with it and pray that He will bring some good out of it. Sex is intended for marriage and marriage is the only human relationship that includes spiritual and physical unity of a man and woman. I had to find out the hard way that when I gave that gift away, I gave the devil ammunition. But I have since learned that the Lord allowed me to go through all I have for some good purpose. If that purpose is to help one of you to keep from making the same foolish mistakes that I made, then "Praise God!" So remember this: just because you are raised in a church and a Christian home does not give you a free ticket into heaven. Christ and His gift of salvation is the only way. God had a plan for my life. He knew that I would be telling you my story tonight. I just wanted you to know you are not alone. You are not the only one that may be going through struggles like I went through. Just know that I am here to listen, pray or talk to: not to judge. You can't tell any of the leaders, including me, anything that we haven't done or seen. Christ alone is the judge of what matters. I wanted to share something someone dear to me sent and then I will be done. 1. When you say nobody really loves me, God says: I Love You (John 3:16; John 3:34) 2. When you think you can't figure things out, God says: I will direct your path. (Proverbs 3:5-6) 3. When you say ?I can?t forgive myself?, God says: I forgive You (1 John 1:9; Romans 8:1) 4. When You feel all alone, God says: I will never leave nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5) Believe God is there just for you. And when you didn?t believe in Him, He believed in You. .