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Toilet Cleaning Instructions: 1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid. 4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse". 6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door. 7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. 8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off. 9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean. Sincerely, The Dog

The Touch of the Master's Hand It was battered and scarred, And the auctioneer thought it hardly worth his while To waste his time on the old violin, but he held it up with a smile. "What am I bid, good people", he cried, "Who starts the bidding for me?" "One dollar, one dollar, Do I hear two?" "Two dollars, who makes it three?" "Three dollars once, three dollars twice, going for three," But, No, From the room far back a gray bearded man Came forward and picked up the bow, Then wiping the dust from the old violin And tightening up the strings, He played a melody, pure and sweet As sweet as the angel sings. The music ceased and the auctioneer With a voice that was quiet and low, Said "What now am I bid for this old violin?" As he held it aloft with its' bow. "One thousand, one thousand, Do I hear two?" "Two thousand, Who makes it three?" "Three thousand once, three thousand twice, Going and gone", said he. The audience cheered, But some of them cried, "We just don't understand." "What changed its' worth?" Swift came the reply. "The Touch of the Masters Hand." Myra Brooks Welch At Church they played this song and it really moved me and Maggie. what this song means to me is that your life is of little value unless you let Jesus into your life. Like the violin was only a few dollars at the start of the auction, it increased in price whe the master played it. Let Jesus be your master and see how much your value increases.

"The Plan of the Master Weaver" My life is but a weaving Between the Lord and me, I may not choose the colors, He knows what they should be; For He can view the pattern Upon the upper side While I can see it only On this, the under side. Sometimes He weaveth sorrow, Which seemeth strange to me; But I will trust His judgment, And work on faithfully; 'Tis He who fills the shuttle, And He knows what is best, So I shall weave in earnest, Leaving to Him the rest. Not till the loom is silent And the shuttles cease to fly Shall God unroll the canvas And explain the reason why-- The Dark threads are as needed In the Weaver's skillful hand As the threads of gold and silver In the pattern He has planned. ~Author Unknown

well My friend, helpthisworld has lent me the left behind series to watch. I have never seen them, but have been really interested in seeing them. I watched part one the other night and I enjoyed, but i have a few questions and if anyone can answer please feel free. I an not very knowledgeable about this topic, so these question may seem simple to those who are, so please bear with me as I try to educate myself. Ok my first question - I always thought that once Jesus came for those who were like Him, that was when armageddon began? then I hear about the 7 years that threw me for a loop. 2nd, why wasnt the preacher taken, he seemed like he was following the way? or was he left to help those, like the pilot, find the way? and finally, and i may have misheard this, but will Jesus return after the 7 years and take the new beleivers??? I am really becoming interested in this and will be watching part 2 tonight after work. BTW - i thought kirk camoeron was played his role very well - especially when he realized what was really happeneing. thanks for any feed back Todd

Good morning all. well last night was the first class in our celebrate recovery at church, and I have a few thoughts on it. We are split into 2 groups, male and female, the reason being is that they feel that people may not open up if thier partner is in the same room. Good idea. we have 4 men in our class, each with thier own problem that they are seeking Gods help in continuing thier recovery. this is awesome, as it will be easy for us to talk, as we all know each other. the instructor for the class is awesome, he has been a fill in pastor in the past, and is very intelligent in the way of the Bible. I am going to enjoy this. For those of you who dont know me, I used to be heavy into drugs about 4 yrs ago. My ex got me started on taking pills and coke, and i was a marijauna user since high school. well on july 4th, 2002, i almost OD'ed and that was my wake up call. i have been clean ever since, but there are temptations, escpecially since my work environment is not the greatest. I do have a co-worker there that is my guiding light, making sure I dont stray, and of course i have Maggie, who has been nothing short of outstanding. She has made sure i do not return to my old ways. And of course, the one and only Jesus. If it werent for Him sending me that wakeup call, i may not be here. He is amazing in his ways. although at the time i was not a follower or a believer, I now understand why everything happened. Thank you, Great Jesus. Our class is going to be 52 weeks long, so this is essential for me to continue to walk the right path. Last night our topic was denial. the hardest step in recovery is of course admitting you have an addiction, which is something that only the person addicted can admit. this step came for me that day in 2002. Quitting was hard, but I am clean, and never felt better. We talked about what life has been like since we have been clean, and it all came down to one constant - we are all followers of Jesus. one other thing i want to touch on is that one of the men in the class said that he has been in recovery with other classes outside the church and they have seen people currently using and the same question occurs to all of us, was I really like that??? Maybe this was God's way of getting me to follow. I dont know, But I am glad I went through the struggles, as I would probably never have known His Glory God Bless, Todd

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BUT PROBABLY DON'T................... 1 Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton. 2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper. 3. The dot over the letter "i" is called a "t i t t l e". 4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top. 5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller. 6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals. 7. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled. 8. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He was albino. 9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily. 10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister. 11. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog. 12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode. 13. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww). 14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants. 15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine. 16. Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters. 17. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time . hence, multi-tasking was invented. 18. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood. 19. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos. 20. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was never a recorded Wendy before! 21. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver! 22. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips. 23. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death. 24. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was a Captain Kirk mask, painted white. 25. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19 You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar (good to know.) 26. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand (and you thought this list was completely useless.) 27. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than you thumb. 28. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola. 29. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same with apples! 30. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying! 31. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher. 32. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries. 33. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages it. 34. George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart .. "Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she's behind bars. O. J. Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the ONE woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and they haul her fanny off to jail."

well here it is 5 years to the day that America changed forever. I want to share my story with you. On that morning, I was at work I worked in the mail room at Childrens Hospital in Pittsburgh. and as I did every morning, I went on my mail run. When I stopped in the Pulmonology department, I noticed everyone huddled around the TV in the waiting room. I could not beleive my eyes. as i watched this, I saw the 2nd plane hit the trade center. I immediatley grabbed my mail cart and rushed back to the mail room and informed yvonne, the mailroom supervisor, what I just had saw. as we switched the radio to the news channel, it was clear....America was under attack. About an hour later, we learned that a plane crashed in Shanksville PA, about an hour away from where we were. we all jsut stared at each other in disbelief. this is something that will never be forgotten, the chills we all felt. the numbness our bodies all experienced at the time. Somwthing i hope we never ever have to re live again. we were all given the opportunity to return home to out families, but we declined. after we all called our familes, we thought it best to stay at work. that night going home was rough. a trip that ususally took 30 minutes took almost 3 hours. Well there are a few songs i am going to listen to today, and i gaurantee that tears will flow as they did on that day God Bless the USA- Lee Greenwood The Star Spangled Banner - Boston - I always thought this was a powerful version of our national anthem, but the guitars in this song bring a great feeling of patriotism out I just hope that future generations will learn of this day and realize that it did not weaken the United States - We are stronger and more united. I believe that was Gods original plan. I feel for the families who lost loved ones that day, but faith in God is where all the answers lie. Praise Him thanks for listening to me ramble on. Hope this day is blessed for you all Your Friend in Christ Todd

John had been attending his favorite teams football games for 50 years and always by his side was his wife. they were never seen apart at the games. Well one sunday, he showed up to the game alone. when asked where his wife was at, he responded, she is at a funeral. Wow what a sad thing this man is here at this game and his wife is at a funeral. When asked why he didnt go, he responded that for 50 years he has been at these games. and he didnt want to give up both of his seats. whose funeral was it?? It was hers. kinda sad, but kinda funny, as i know football fans who have skipped out being the best man in a wedding to be ata funeral--just last week here in pittsburgh a man went to the steelers last preseason game and his wife went in labor while he was at the game, and gave birth - on the way to the hospital

I want to tell you all about a friend of mine that I consider to be a True Friend. He is on JC Faith, under tha name of helpthisworld. I have worked with him for almost a year, and thru all the troubles at work, Kenny has been a great friend to me. and a role model in my relationship with the Lord. Kenny has the respect of everyone at work and he is a huge influence on the way I do things there. Sure we have had a run in or two, but we can still consider it minor. He has always been there to help me when i needed it. One night, while Ken was on vacation from work, My Maggie became ill and needed to go to the hospital. well since i dont drive, Kenny took her and picked her up from the hospital. This selfless act was greatly appreciated. How many other friends would do that??? One reason i treasure kennys friendship is that i have had too many fair weather friends in my life. the kind that only was my friend because they needed something from me. The only thing kenny asks in return is to be his friend. You cant beat that. Kennys wife (Michelle415 on JC Faith) is also a great person. Her love for our Lord in unmatched by anyone that I have ever known. And she lives this to the fullest. If you ever call her home and get her answering machine, her message ends with "Jesus loves you" a very awesome gesture. If you do not know these two, make it a point to know them. You will not be disappointed. Thank you Kenny and Michelle. You are great friends to maggie and myself. God Bless you both, Todd

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