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Nearly 14 years ago, I sat quietly in the passenger seat of our Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme while my husband drove slowly down the highway in a snowstorm. We were young and scared; I had just gone into labor with our first child. We were 1800 miles away from home and had no idea what to expect. As I practiced breathing through the pain, my husband began flipping through the radio dial, finally settling on a country station from a town in the distance. Suddenly, the strains of John Michael Montgomery's song, "Life's a Dance" enveloped the car. I closed my eyes and felt a sense of peace when I heard the chorus: Life's a dance you learn as you go Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow Don't worry about what you don't know Over the years, that song has provided comfort in nearly every situation involving the son I gave birth to the following day. The day he entered kindergarten, I couldn't stop the tears as we left him sitting alone at a table and looking as if we had abandoned him. Climbing into the truck a few minutes later, the song began again emanating through the speakers. I looked at my husband and he just shook his head. We both knew God was reminding us that we shouldn't worry about what we didn't know. Even if we weren't with our son in the classroom, He was. As he grew, each first in his life had this song as its theme. His first camping trip, his first plane ride alone, his first foray into witnessing; all carried the undercurrent of dancing without worry. Now that he's older, I am aware that each step he takes is a step away from childhood and away from me. I know there will come a day when I will let go of his hand and watch him spread his wings. And I know that when I turn away with tears in my eyes, God will comfort me with the sweet strains...life's a dance you learn as you go, sometimes you lead (parent), sometimes you follow (Him). Don't worry about what you don't know Life's a dance you learn as you go!

"What's God's name, Mama?" From the lips of a child, it's a question that should easily be answered by the Christian parent. For a moment, she struggled with the words, trying to formulate the answer in her head before sharing it with her son. Sure, he knows that God revealed His name to His servant, Moses in Exodus 3:14 when Moses inquired about the name of the One who was sending him to speak to His people: I AM who I AM. But, what does a child, raised on the stories of Jesus know about the God of the Old Testament? Can he really understand that Jesus is not only God's Son, but God the Father as well? She began thumbing through the Word, looking for the answers promised there. Not only did she find God's name once again, but she found that Jesus Himself had uttered those words, too. Answering the question posed by the Jewish people, "Who do you think you are?" Jesus responded, "I tell you the truth, before Abraham was born, I AM!" (John 8:53,58) Confident she had the answers she needed to respond honestly to her child, she urged him to retrieve his King James bible and to turn to the passages to read aloud. His voice was small as he read the passages and then he looked questioningly at her, wanting to understand what he was reading. She began to tell him a story: Many years ago, when I was born, I became a daughter to your Nana and Grampa. They raised me up until I became a young woman. One day, I met your dad and fell madly in love with him. We got married soon after and I became his wife. A year or so later, I gave birth to your brother and when that happened, I became a mother. I never stopped being a daughter when I became a wife and I never stopped being a daughter and wife when I became a mother. Three very different names, but all the same person. Do you understand? The boy sat quietly and thought about the words his mother had just told him. He slowly nodded his head and she went on: I have many different names, but the consistent name I have is the one I have always been known by. It distinctly lets everyone, no matter who they are, know who I am. God is like that. He's known as I AM, Father, God Almighty, Heavenly Father and Jehovah.. But think about this; Jesus is known as I AM, too, even though He's often called, The Son of Man, The Son of God, The Word, Savior, Lord and Messiah. The thing is, one name is consistent with both and that is, I AM. It's the name that both claim and it means the same thing to both of them...why? Because just like me and the one name that everyone knows, Jesus and God have that one name that identifies Who they are: I AM. That means, my precious son, that the Jesus who died on the cross for us is God the Father and therefore, worthy of our worship and worthy of our praise. (John 20:28, Matt 15:33) Keep these words close to your heart and know the verses well enough so that you'll never forget who the true Jesus of the Bible is. He wasn't just some prophet and He wasn't just a nice guy or one of many of God's children. He was, is and forever will be, I AM. The boy closed his bible and quietly retreated to his room. He stayed away for a long while, long enough so that the mother became alarmed and peeked into his room to see what he was doing. In front of him lay the family bibles, each a different version of the King James bible he'd received the day he gave his heart to Jesus. When he noticed her, he jumped to his feet and excitedly proclaimed, "Mama! He said the same thing in all the bibles! Everyone should know this!" She smiled, closed the door and said to herself, "Yes, my son. Everyone should know God's name."

Eight years ago, a phone call shattered my world. On the other end of the line, a calm, compassionate voice informed me that three of my loved ones, two children and their father, were found murdered in their home. In horror, I dropped the phone and let out a wail heard clearly by my neighbors. The ensuing hours and then days were a blur of shock, anxiety and full-bodied fear. As each detail trickled in, my blood turned cold as it coursed through my veins. On the other side of town, the wife and mother of the victims was enduring her own kind of hell on earth; the loss of her entire family. As she stood in her family room surrounded by the bodies of her husband and children, she realized that everything she was living for had simply ceased to exist. Who she had been died that day. A previous disagreement had forged a wall of silence between us two weeks before. Each of us was indignant and unwilling to compromise in order to resolve our dispute. When I felt a nudge from Jesus to go to my friend, I initially resisted. "What could I say to her?" I asked Him. "I'm the last person she'd be willing to see." The only answer I received was the simple word, "Go." Not understanding why He would suggest such a thing, I nevertheless gathered together some items and showed up at the house of her in-laws the following day. When she arrived there an hour later, I turned my eyes away and tried to blend in with the crowd that had gathered there. Suddenly, the woman who hadn't been able to coherently speak in over 24 hours said my name. I looked into her dead eyes and without warning, all the words of comfort I had been setting aside for this moment disappeared. Instead, I spoke the only words to come to my lips, " I'm so sorry. I love you." I learned at that moment that sometimes, all I need to do is show up and let Jesus do the rest. How often do we resist Him when He nudges us into difficult spiritual, emotional or physical situations because we don't trust Him to see us through? How often do we walk away from a despondent friend, a struggling teenager or a depressed loved one because we fear that we don't know the right thing to say? Sadly, I know I am not the only one who has resisted the gentle (and sometimes forceful) urgings of my Savior. If I am to reflect Christ's love for His children, would it not behoove me to let go of earthly fears and to walk into the fire, knowing that He will be with me every step of the way? If we trust Jesus, we Christians can be the gentle, compassionate vessels that He uses to comfort His children. We can be confident leaders when others fall into situations that render them helpless to help themselves. In other words, we can be powerful instruments of God if we just show up and let Jesus do the rest. We don't have to have elaborate vocabularies because sometimes, He speaks lovingly simple words of comfort, encouragement and support. We need not fear looking foolish if our eyes are on Jesus. We need not shirk the responsibility He gives us when He urges us forward into perceieved danger. Jeremiah 29:11-13 says: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. How can we not be encouraged to seek and obey Him in difficult circumstances when He makes it abundantly clear that He believes that we are capable to standing up to the task? Even more comforting, He also states that He has no plans whatsoever to harm us. What are we afraid of? After all, sometimes, all we have to do is just show up... and let Jesus do the rest.

Did you know that your child is hardwired to do something wonderful, maybe even great? It may be easy for parents to see their children as future artists (think about that picture on your refrigerator), musicians or actors, especially in their early preschool years when it's common for our children to be paraded in front of us, singing songs, banging drums and showing off their latest watercolor masterpiece. But what about that lone little girl on the top row to the right? Why isn't she singing? Is it possible she's daydreaming about riding in a boat? Maybe she's thinking about a story she'd like to tell but hasn't yet found the way or the means to tell it? Each one of our children is different. They're designed that way by our Creator. Every child is hardwired (or bent) to do something and to do it well. Recognizing your child's bent is as important a requirement as providing a warm, safe and loving home for him or her to grow and flourish in. Understanding and encouraging their growth in their area of expertise may be able to help them overcome teenage apathy and instead give them the confidence they need to follow the road Christ paved for them. When my 12 year-old realized that asthma would most likely curtail any dreams he had of flying, he immediately set to work on creating starships that would carry passengers (maybe even you or me) into space. His first idea was a doozy. He wanted to obtain a box, duct tape and four battery operated hair dryers (do they even exist?) and invent a simple hovercraft. By his assertion, cutting out holes on each side and then inserting the nozzles of the hair dryers into the holes, he would be able to remotely lift the box off the ground and watch it hover. The duct tape would be used to seal the entry points and any areas on the box that might leak air. Dismissing his idea would have been simple. But upon further reflection, it appeared that his imagination was clearly a manifestation of his bent. Scattered pictures of starships and airplanes litter his bedroom. Intricately designed Lego spaceships adorn the top of his dresser and various bookshelves. Buildings constructed out of index cards and plain scotch tape take up a third of our family room. This child is hardwired to create that which clutters his mind. The congestion in his head is alleviated by his various phsyical inventions. It's no small wonder that his father ordered him to climb into the family car for a trip to the drugstore when he was handed the list of supplies. He didn't need an explanation, all he knew was that something in his son's head was clammering to be released. When I read Proverbs 22:6, I see a powerful command for parents: "Train up a child in the way he should go..." Recognize and encourage your child's bent "and when he is old, he will not depart from it." and he will, with great confidence, do what he is hardwired by God to do. Children whose parents are aware of their bent (and thus encouraged and supported) are happier and more prepared to face the challenges that await them as they enter adulthood. It's almost ridiculously simple to stack the cards in their favor when we truly understand what it is that makes our children tick. God knows. And He graciously shared it with us in Proverbs 22:6. What is your child's bent?

The list was simple and one word announced its contents: Supplies. What a twelve year-old needed in the first week of summer that involved a trip to the drug store, is beyond me. Indeed, the list was short, all he needed was ten rolls of tape and roughly 15 packages of index cards. After a quick trip to Walgreen's and laying the contents out on the family room floor, he surveyed his supplies and set to work. One by one, buildings began to appear with somewhat sturdy sides and taped together neatly at the hinges. When he was asked later what those buildings were supposed to be, he responded in detail and patiently answered each question that his befuddled family asked of him. Although I'll probably never understand why he built the index card city, I'm thankful I understand my son's bent. Proverbs 22:6 tells us to, "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it." For many years, I misinterpreted this verse, often thinking that if I continually exposed my children to Christianity, they would not leave the freedom of Christ's love and enslave themselves to something infinitely less holy. When my oldest son became a teenager, I noticed a change in his demeanor. As if a switch had been flipped on, the boy who once thought I could do no wrong came to the startling conclusion that his mother was ignorant. In other words, my son entered the realm of rebellion. He questioned my authority and steadfastly refused to believe that some things should be taken at face value. "Because I said so" was a phrase that made his skin crawl and he began to demand good reasons as to why he should do chores, clean his room and bathe on a daily basis. To the average parent, the reasons are crystal clear; we know that the benefits of chores results in smooth-running households and that they allow the performer of such duties to contribute to the family's well being. We know that clean rooms offer children an obstacle-free path to safety in case the house catches fire. And lastly, we know that good hygiene can prevent loved ones from running in the opposite direction when we enter a room. With a Christian upbringing, one would think that these particular behaviors would not affect our children, yet rebellion is as common among Christian teens as it is to non-believing teens. Does this mean that Proverbs 22:6 isn't true? If you believed like I did, then yes. Raising your young man or young woman in a Christian home alone will not prevent him or her from departing from the faith at some point in their lives. However, once Proverbs 22:6 is investigated further, we find that the verse has a much more powerful meaning and can make all the difference in the world to parents and children everywhere. In my next entry, I'll explain why it's important to identify your child's bent.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres. 1 Corinthians 14:4-7 For many years, I looked upon that verse as being simply beautiful. Nothing more than inspirational words about the idealistic view of love. It wasn't until it was explained to me (after some long years of loving the same man) that I finally understood why love is spoken of in this way. Jesus loved us this way. Love is patient. It could also be interpreted as "love is long-suffering." How are they one in the same? Since love is an action, not a feeling, the decision to love makes us vulnerable. And when we're vulnerable, the possibility of suffering increases, because it lays us bare to be hurt. When I made the decision to love my husband all those years ago, I never realized that I was putting myself out there in the line of fire; in the line of his fire. Arguments were a part of everyday life back then. Children, finances, moving and what to cook for supper were all grounds for a battle at the drop of a hat. For years we suffered through increasingly difficult situations, yet somehow, we ovecame each one and landed back in each other's arms, content with the one we chose to spend the rest of our lives with. Friends never understood why we never walked away from each other. When I would respond to the question of why I would remain with this man, I would always answer, "Because I love him." I can see now that choosing to love someone meant that I would learn patience. I would learn to suffer long in order to be with the man who brings me so much happiness and joy. The suffering of love is worth it.

The elderly couple gazes tenderly at one another while they eat their dinner at the center table in a crowded dining room. She brings her fork to her mouth slowly, deliberately, and then hesitates before taking a bite. She watches her husband's hand shake as he brings his water to his lips to take a drink. When she sees it spilling ever so slightly, she drops her fork onto her plate and steadies his hand. No words are spoken audibly between them, but the look of gratefulness is apparent in his eyes. A waitress appears later and the couple listen wide-eyed while she explains that someone had already paid their bill and only left three words for an explanation; "Jesus loves you." As they marvel over the unexpected blessing, they rise from their chairs. He takes her sweater and places it over her shoulders and brushes his hand across her cheek. The look of love evident on both their faces. They shuffle awkwardly from the restaurant and no one watches them leave, save the lone waitress by the counter who bids them a goodnight. They smile and wave and make their way into the night, holding hands, their heads close together as they whisper quietly, secretly, to one another. The waitress turns to the dining room and walks to the table carrying a large, gray washtub so that she can clear away the evidence of their meal. She spies the money the couple left behind on the table, a tip that need not have been left, wrapped in a napkin bearing the words, "Jesus loves you, too." She stuffs the money, along with the napkin, into her apron and as she sets the new silverware into their places, she notices another elderly couple as they stand in the lobby. She smiles broadly and leads them to their seats. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres. 1 Corinthians 14:4-7 Kindness reaches the loneliest of hearts. Have you been kind today?

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