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The pain and misery of it all!! The suspence is killing me!! I need to know what I made on the chem test!! LOL I think I made an A...I hope...Then again on my circuits exam today....ummlets not talk about that one...ugh! It is beautiful day and here comes a much needed weekend!

wow I'm so tired! I was up until like 2 studying circuits...I have no life! I have a chem test at 8 so I have to miss church tonight...Oh well I know lots of people who love taking chem tests! LOL Anyways I gotta study some more! YEYA!!

So there I was surfing through facebook... I am seeing my friends turning their backs on God. It so depresses me and discourages me. Am I the only one in this whole wide world that sees God as the only way!? The only reason for us to live? Why when people move out away from their parents they think that they have to drink and party and sleep around!?!? Don't they realize they have a higher calling? I feel like I'm the only one that made the desicion to hate sin! The only one that descided to not bend and kneel down to all those appealing things presented to us, and for many the first time in college. I know it is tempting to drink and do all that stuff! I've been in college for two years and 4weeks! But why??? Sin only leads to death!! I guess I am sounding kind of negative but it breaks my hearts to see people deliberatly rebel and sin against God, who loves them so much... It disheartens me and makes me feel like I'm fighting a futile battle..In itself tempts me to give up now... although I know God is the only reason I live and would never disown Him...In times like these the only reason I keep going is because I remember what my life was like without Jesus, and I remember the commitment I made to Him...God bless you all...I feel like crying I wish I weren't in the library...please remember the college students in prayer, we need it!

It has been like four whole days since I have written anything! I had to go home this weekend and meet Charity's boyfriend....Remember to never call your girlfriends Dad an old man the first time you meet him! I had my 270 lying beside the chair. Did you know that rifle will throw a bullet 3000 feet/ second! or 30 miles per minute! Try and out run that! Poor Guy.....good luck to him! He's going to need it..

a beautiful face means nothing if they have an ugly attitude! I wished that people wore their characters on their faces! that way you could tell what people really are ontheir inside. The Bible does say though that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks! so you can kindof tell what people fill themselves with by what they say...and what they say reflects their character.

Have you ever asked yourself how in the world you got yourself into the same mess you promised yourself you would never get into again? ummm just a random thought...LOL Do any of ya'll know about ummm not inturnships but a job to where you work 6 months go to school 6 months and the comppany pays for your school. Is that a good thing or should I barrel through and then pay all the debt back....I am still thinking about that one! Kind of like trying to read the future I guess! Doing it that way will double my time as a student but it would also give me work experiance upon graduation and possibly a job too. i don't know though..Anyways I gotta go study for a diff e test.

WOW I just heard a guy here on campus shouting that everyone is giong to burn in hell! Because we are all sinners!! I think he is under the okd law from what all he was saying...the jewish law...kinda scary! LOL It was hilarious actually! I kinda wonder how many people he thinks he will convinse to repent by such an aggressive method...Oh well I do want to talk to him someday, just not out in the middle of campus yelling like he is..Wow! It was shocking kindof exciting!LOL

I remember back in the day when my life was a living Hell and I wanted so badly to kill myself. I sat and contimplated for hours about ending it all. But something each time would bring me to think that maybe, just maybe tommarrow would be better.... I got to the point that I didn't think that there was a God, then as things progressed and life continued on it's down hill roll I knew that there was a God. But this God hated me, he wanted to torture me in every way imaginable! I began to hate God, I hated everything and everyone. I valued my life at about the same level as poo...lower, I knew that if I was to die I would be no different than a bug being smashed under foot...no one would care, no one would remember, no one would notice. I was around 12 when somehow, despite all the walls I had built up around my heart, Jesus showed me His love told me how much He cared for me. He is so deep, so wonderful, I can't even begin to explain in words how amazing He is...he picked me up and carried me. He is still healing my wounds...Did you know he even knows how many hairs are on your head! He notices when even a sparrow falls. We are much more important to him than all the sparrows put togather!! Jesus loves you! This is why I know that there isn't any reason for me to live, except to live for Christ. He is why I live! I made a commitment to God that no matter what comes my way I will serve him with my whole heart mind and soul! So bring it world! Here I stand a servant,a farmer and a warrior for the MOST HIGH GOD!!!

I wonder sometimes that if I'm not being persicuted for Christ; am I really accomplishing what God has called me to do? Because honestly I want Satan to know my name and who's I am! The Devil prefers to attack those that are a threat to him. Most of the time people are just reaping what they have sewn. I want to sew the things of Christ so that I reap the blessings of Christ! That is when ol' Lucifer sees us as a threat! I don't want to just sit around and do nothing, we have to rock the boat. We can't ride the fence and be luke warm! We should be radicals for Jesus! YAAAHH!!! Be rightious! Shun evil! Don't sin!! Stop! We are new creations! I know it is hard to stop sinning. I have been there! All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God! I'm not perfect yet, ...maybe someday though LOL!! The Bible says"Be ye therefore perfect as your Father in Heaven is perfect." so it is possible. When we give all of ourselves to Him that is when we see the fullness of his blessings! Trials and temptations will still come though. Stand on the word of God, memorize scripture, make a mental commitment that you will serve God no matter what!! Those are the things that helped sustain me during these past seven months in which this world has fallen apart!!! I made it through because Christ is everything to me! Take everything from me...and I'll still have God! Look at Job. When he lost it all he fell to his knees and PRAISED God!! That is awsome! All twelve of jesus best friends betrayed him! He knows what it is like to suffer! He loved us so much he gave his life for us! He will never leave us nore forsake us! He is my strength, my high tower, my refuge, my King, my Dad, my healer, my savior, and the list goes on and on! Run to Him and He will run to you! He loves YOU and me!

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