What happened to my picture video of Vanessa?

I wonder where my Amazing Grace video went

Reading, Writing, Photography, Genealogy. Running free....running, running, running.... blowing in the wind where ever it takes me, a gypsy butterfly. Watching air planes in the sky and dreaming of laso'ing a ride to another place. Closing my eyes and remembering the celestial city in the clouds from the air plane on my way to Paris and London.....take me back:) !!!!!

Books!!!!!!!!!now we are talking! I love to read and collect books! My daughter insists I need an intervention. Books are my friends when Iam too tired or ill to get out, they never leave me and are always waiting at the spot I left them, unlike a TV show that continues when you can't. Books will be there to entertain me when I'm too old to do much else...take me to another time and place! And God bless the trees that provide the material to make my books!

The world we live in is too fast paced to spend time (or in my case, much energy) toward those around us....and it sends the wrong message out that maybe one does not care. I'm guilty, because I'm afraid to give much of myself to others because I can't always maintain things due to my health. This site is like a book to me... here when Iam able to apply myself and waiting, not passing me by like life in the 'here and now' or a TV show that has to hold me hostage right now if Iam to view it. Wondering what people would want to know about me....to put on here,.... first off I should say that my name gyspypickle is a nick name my grandfather gave me as a child due to my wild and carefree nature and I loved pickles/hot peppers...it's a name like no other, I suppose. Married to Jack, my first love and we have four children....Kyle 21, Dawn 18, Trent 16 and our Vanessa 5. Jack was raised in a Christian home and I, a church orphan. He does not choose to live the Christian life but I embraced it as a pre-teen. My in-laws have gone to their heavenly home. My mother is now a Christian as well as a few other family members....it sadly was not the legacy of our generations...with the exception of my grandmom. I look forward to that reunion day when I shall see my Lord face to face and embrace my beloved gram and in-laws again and meet my baby sister Lori who passed at 13 months old in July 1968. I always knew that my profession in life would be as a wife and mother and for that I'am blessed. Even before marriage my husband and I determined that I would be a stay at home mother and raise our children the old fashion way. Once my older three were responsible enough to be left at home alone for a time I did take up part time work at a funeral home for some friends from church, and a little house cleaning for a few others. Gave up the house cleaning when my Fibromyalgia took hold of me and have quit work at the funeral home three different times, but they have always taken me back when I was ready. Quit due to health 1st time, 2nd time quit when Vanessa came along and 3rd time when my husbands job moved out...it was a blow to his abilities to provide for our family. We have been two years struggeling financially since then but I did return to work, not so much for the money but because I love my job! It is a ministry and a blessing to work with good Christion friends! as well as hearing the eulogies of Christians gone home and the mark they have left.....then there are the lost ones too, that are so sad because some don't even know that eternal hell even exists. I never wanted to stop having children but financial realities have to be considered in such situations. After Trent, we recognized our limitaions to provide. Still God spoke to my soul years ago and I knew I would have another daughter some how, some day. When my neice found out she was pregnant she told the nurse that her aunt was going to adopt the baby, before I even knew about her!!!!! Thus, our Vanessa, a blessing straight from God above....has been our joy and our gift and my anchor to the tomorrows that God sees fit to give to me! She is an absolute genius! and child of wonder that thrills my spirit to tears of joy and gratitude just to think about her. My daughter Dawn is my true friend and joy like no other, for our relationship is more special than most parents could ever hope to share with a child in this day and time. Often she worries about losing me to death some day and it strikes me as uncanny that she even worries about that at such a young age....except in lite of the fact that I work at a funeral home and she has recognized how fragile and vulnerable life truly can be. Me and my girls have some thing special. And my boys are another story that fits into the realm of what does appear to be normal in sons and teens these days...some times to a fault that hurts the soul of this mother .....I thought if I raised my children right and loved them deeply it would all work out perfectly, but we live in a fallen world and they challenge me...How God must hurt over his lost children too!!!!! Maybe I should blog some of this because it is getting soooo long and just maybe its not all that important to share

I love the stars in the sky, a wink of the eye, a newborn babies head, being pregnant, laying in bed alone with my own thoughts, spring showers and thunderstorms, butterflies and sunsets, the mountains and the trees, large snow flakes falling thickly around me.....and I absolutely love Autumn time. I love being a momma and wife...even when it's hard and I want to run away for a break... it's my own failures, not theirs. Conway Twitty love songs!!!take me to the time when I fell in love with my one and only of 22 years.....Tight fitting Jeans:)

Tears that I just can't seem to release for fear of drowning myself....the present lump in my throat that is my constant companion lately. The fear that my 16 year old son may be headed for hell at the rate he is going, he is so unhappy and I can't help him or do any thing right. My 21 year old son is schooling to become a fire fighter and police man but he's forgot the Lord that I brought him up to know, he needs Gods protection so much in that profession! For being the genius that I know he is, common sense excapes him. Still is a believer just no time for ...Church? This is the price I pay for being unequally yoked....was too young to recognize I could be sacrificing my own children when I gave my heart to a man that was not willing to share the same life and faith walk, though he is a believer, he is yet a rebel....and the frightening thing is I would still yet do it all over again because our love is good....I'am Hosea and he, Gomer