Every February the whole stressful boy-girl thing looms large. Maybe you wouldn’t be obsessed with the love/romance situation so much if the cupids and hearts of Valentine’s Day weren’t wallpapering your world. Maybe there’s a guy in school who you like a lot but you haven’t a clue if he even knows your name. Then again, maybe you’re not 100% sure if you’re even ready to have a boyfriend. Ugh, life can be so complicated. When will it be your turn to find your soul mate? And how are you supposed to recognize if he’s the one?

Every advertisement enticing you to buy chocolate seems to bang home the point that there is only one person in the world who has been created just for you. Well, we’re here to say that that’s simply NOT TRUE! There was a movie a few years ago called Somewhere in Time which suggested that somewhere in the universe, somewhere in time, either in a past life or in a future life, there exists the perfect match, the perfect love, the perfect soul mate for each of us. Romantic as that sounds, all you have to do is look around at your parents and your friend’s parents. Have they changed with the years? Chances are the person you fall in love with today and think you want to spend the rest of your life with will not be exactly the same choice you’d make in twenty years.

The fantasy that there is only one true love out there puts more importance on choosing the right mate than on being committed to working on a relationship. While finding someone you truly love is obviously very important, the success of any relationship is based on communication and listening to each other. Finding the right guy doesn’t mean you’re going to “live happily ever after.” Mr. Right also has to be committed to the idea that relationships require work and he has to be willing to listen and change as the relationship changes.

You may not believe this but it’s true…there are lots and lots of princes out there who are right for you. You might have to go through a few dozen frogs before you find a single prince, but don’t worry. You have many years to sort out the frogs from the princes. Between your teen years and adulthood, your needs will change. Right now your Mr. Right might be a guy who is cute, athletic, popular and funny. What kind of career he will have, what kind of income he will earn, what kind of father he will be or even what part of the country he might want to live in are not issues that concern you. But they will. Your needs are going to change and some of the things that make you happy and feel loved are going to change too. So relax and take heart. And look forward to all the experiences of feeling “in love” that the future will bring before you settle down!