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How a Husband Should Handle His Wife's Submission
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| Total Views: 133 - Total Replies: 3 | |
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Jan 01 2007, 6:34 pm - By revwaynec
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This is a little Long, but I thought it worth sharing. &nb sp; God Bless &nb sp; Pastor Wayne By Stormie Omartian Submit is a verb. Submitting is a voluntary action. That means it is something we ourselves do. It’s not something we make someone else do. Just as we can’t force another person to love us, we can’t force someone to submit to us either. Of course we can make that person do what we want. But then that’s not true submission. Submission is a choice we make. It’s something each one of us must decide to do. And this decision happens first in the heart. If we don’t decide in our hearts that we are going to willingly submit to whomever it is we need to be submitted to, then we are not truly submitting. This may be shocking news to you, but an overwhelming majority of wives in my survey said they want to submit to their husbands. They want their husbands to be the head of the home, and they have no desire to usurp that God-given position of leadership. They know what the Bible says on the subject, and discerning wives want to do what God wants because they understand that God’s ways work best. However, problems often arise in this area because a wife is afraid to submit to her husband for two reasons: Reason #1: Her husband thinks submission is only a noun, and he uses it as a weapon. Reason #2: Her husband has himself not made the choice in his heart to be fully submitted to God.Okay, okay! I know that God did not say a wife needs to submit to her husband only if he proves to be worthy. Submission is a matter of trusting in God more than trusting in man. But a wife will more easily make the choice to submit to her husband if she knows that he has made the choice to submit to the Lord. It will be a sign to her that it is safe to submit to him. And the goal here is to help her, not force her, into proper alignment. Many a wife has a hard time trusting that her husband is hearing from God if he doesn’t appear to be submitted to God in the way he treats her. Wives know that after the verse saying Wives, submit to your own husbands (Ephesians 5:22), the Bible says, Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her (verse 25). Christ doesn’t neglect, ignore, demean or abuse the church. He doesn’t treat her rudely or disrespectfully. He never acts arrogantly or insensitively toward her. Nor does He criticize her and make her feel she is not valuable. Rather He loves her, protects her, provides for her, and cares for her. So while God gives the husband a position of leadership in relationship to his wife, He also requires the price of self-sacrifice from him. When Wives Hold Back The big question in many women’s minds is, If I submit myself to my husband, will I become a doormat for him to walk on? The answer to that question depends entirely upon whether her husband believes he should love his wife like Christ loves the church and willingly sacrifices himself for her” or thinks that submission is a noun and that it is something owed him. In other words, does he only consider his desires and opinions, to the exclusion of hers? A wife has a hard time giving her husband the reins to her life if she doesn’t believe she can trust him to have her best interests at heart as he steers the course of their lives together. She has trouble going along with his decisions when he refuses to consider her thoughts, feelings, and insights on the subject. And if she has submitted to a male in the past and her trust was violated in some way, it is even more difficult for her to trust now. On the other hand, a woman will do anything for a man who loves her like Christ loves the church. Submission is easy under these conditions. I know a number of women who are married to unbelieving husbands and who have no problem submitting to their husbands, because in each case the husband loves his wife like Christ loves the church, even though he doesn’t even know Christ. Too often people confuse submission with obey. But they are not the same thing. The Bible gives commands about obeying other people only in regard to children and slaves, and in the context of the local church. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right (Ephesians 6:1). "Bondservants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh (Ephesians 6:5). Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account (Hebrews 13:17). Since a wife is neither her husbands child nor his servant, and the local church isn’t part of a marriage, the word obey has no application to the relationship between a husband and a wife. Submission means to submit yourself. In light of that, when a husband demands submission from his wife, it is no longer true submission. And his demands can become intimidating and oppressive, which breeds resentment. When a husband is more interested in his wife’s submission to him than he is in his own submission to God, then submission becomes a tool to hurt and destroy. I have seen too many marriages between strong Christian people even high-profile Christian leaders, in fact end in divorce because the husband demanded submission and resorted to verbal or physical abuse in order to get it. My husband has even counseled men like that, men who refused to hear that losing their family was a horrible price to pay for being right. How much better it would have been for the husband to submit himself to God’s hand and then pray for his wife to be able to come into proper order. This kind of situation occurs far too often. When we submit to God, He doesn’t suppress who we are. He frees us to become who we are made to be, within the boundaries of His protection. When a wife submits to her husband, she comes under his covering and protection, and this frees her to become all God created her to be. And trust me, you want that for your wife. Her greatest gifts will prove to be your greatest blessing. If you feel that your wife is not submissive, pray for her to have a submissive heart, first toward God and then toward you. Then ask God to help you love her the way He does. I guarantee that you will see her submission level rise in direct proportion to the unselfish love you exhibit for her. And let her see that you are seeking God for guidance. If she knows that you are asking God to show you the way, she will follow you anywhere. Please pray for your wife that: 1. 1. She will understand what submission really is. 2. 2. She will be able to submit in the way God wants her to. 3. 3. You will be completely submitted to God. 4. 4. She will trust God as He works in you. 5. 5. You will take your position as spiritual leader. 6. 6. She will trust you to be the head of the family. 7. 7. Submission will not be a point of contention in your marriage.PRAYER POWER Lord, I submit myself to You this day. Lead me as I lead my family. Help me to make all decisions based on Your revelation and guidance. As I submit my leadership to You, enable (wife’s name) to fully trust that You are leading me. Help her to understand the kind of submission You want from her. Help me to understand the kind of submission You want from me. Enable me to be the leader You want me to be. Where there are issues over which we disagree, help us to settle them in proper order. I pray that I will allow You, Lord, to be so in control of my life that my wife will be able to freely trust Your Holy Spirit working in me. Help me to love her the way You love me, so that I will gain her complete respect and love. Give her a submissive heart and the faith she needs to trust me to be the spiritual leader in our home. At the same time, help us to submit “to one another in the fear of God†(Ephesians 5:21). I know that only You, Lord, can make that perfect balance happen in our lives. |
| Except a Man Be Born Again...... | |
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Jan 04 2007, 8:29 pm - Replied by: Bluegrass_n_Texas
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GREAT POST AND RIGHT ON WITH THE WORD OF GOD !!!! MANY MARRIAGES SUFFER BECAUSE OF THE LACK OF UNDERSTANDING THE VERY THINGS YOU STATED IN YOUR ARTICLE. THE FOLLOWING COMMENTS ARE FROM A VERY INTENSE SEMINAR WE TEACH MY CONGREGATION ON: *** DIVINE ORDER *** -------- HOPE YOU ENJOY. GOD IS A GOD OF ORDER! THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE CONTINUES TO EXIST BECAUSE IT CONTINUES TO OPERATE IN ITS CREATIONAL ORDER!NOTHING WORKS RIGHT WHEN IT'S OUT OF ORDER! THAT INCLUDES: YOUR LIFE; YOUR MARRIAGE; YOUR PARENTHOOD; YOUR HOME; YOUR WORK; YOUR MINISTRY; YOUR FRIENDSHIPS; YOUR CHURCH MEMBERSHIP AND YOUR WORSHIP - - PRIVATE AND CORPORATE!
Divine Order
Part One "A": DEALING WITH THE ISSUE
OF MAN AND WOMAN, HUSBAND AND WIFE I. Man's First Estate - - The Creation Model (The Perfect Man): A. Creation:1. Genesis 1:26-28 "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.[27] So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. [28] And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth." a.ADAM (MaN AS A RACE) - - Hebrew: "ruddy or earthy"; of common sort; of lower degree (made a little lower than the angels -- a lower formof the same order or likeness as God?). Made in God's "likeness"; that is to say, "Alike in character, appearance and nature"; steward.The word in the original language referred to both sexes as a race, and the original language of this text infers that God spoke everything into existence, except for man. B. Then, GOD gave man Dominion over the entire earth - - including the whole of the animal kingdom: 1. DOMINION - - "Subjugate"; to bring under control; to rule over; to prevail against - - literally to conquer and force it to conform to your own will. 2. Given to "THEM" - - both male and female. (Verses 26 and 28). 3. Dominion over all previous creation; but not over one another. One of the basic tenants of Christianity and civilization is that "...all men are created equal...". C. We can understand that God's original intention was for a man and a woman to be joined together, for the most widely used Biblical word for "man" and the word for "husband" is the same Hebrew word, "Iysh", which means "alive"; and the word for "woman" and the word for "wife" is the same Hebrew word, "Ishshah", which means "together".II. Woman's First Estate - - The Creation Model (The Perfect Woman): A. In recapping the history of creation, the writer says in Genesis 2:18 "And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him'." 1. Help meet: Two words! A companion who is like him, suited for him. a. HELP - - partner; aid; assist; boost; relieve; fortify; strengthen; protect; succor; surround; helper; co-laborer; comfort; cheer; support; asset; benefit; encourage; power equal. b. MEET - - suited for; proper for; appropriate for; fitted to; relevant to; ready; equipped; correct; in good order for. B. Genesis 1:27 "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him, male and female created He them." Genesis 1:28 "And God blessed them, and God said unto them, 'Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have DOMINION over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every thing that moves upon the earth'." 1. Male and female were given equal reign and dominion over the earth. C. Genesis 3:8 "And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden."1. The man AND the woman BOTH heard the voice of God; they both had the spiritual ability to commune with their Maker. D. Genesis 5:2 "Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created." 1. By bestowing on both the male and the female the same name, God proclaimed the truth of their equality at creation. a. The female's name was not changed to "Eve" until after the fall! 2. An in-depth study of the original Hebrew, suggests to us that IN THE BEGINNING, God ordained that the male and the female should both have the same name or title; the same dominion and authority; the same blessing; and the same relationship with Him. III. Man and Woman's Second Estate - - The Fall: A. GENESIS 3:6-7: "And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.[7] And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons." 1.The man and woman were TOGETHER when they ate the fruit. The phrase "theeyes of them both were opened" - - EYES: NATURAL SIGHT; suddenly, theman and woman were no longer perceiving in the Spirit; but now, their perception changed to that of the flesh. They "knew that they were naked" - -KNEW: TO ASCERTAIN BY PHYSICAL SIGHT. NAKED UNCOVERED; WITHOUT THE VESTURE OF GOD'S GLORY UPON THEM.
Aa. Now, the race of man would be burdened with the knowledge of sin - - the knowledge of good and evil - - the knowledge of the flesh, the natural, the carnal. Bb. Sorrow entered, joy became elusive. Toil entered, rest became elusive. Fear entered, peace became elusive. Death entered, life lost its value. Cc. "Cursed is the ground" - - CURSED - - DETESTABLE;LOATHSOME; DIRTY; DISGUSTING. Dd. "Adam called his wife's name 'Eve'" - - CALLED: TO SPEAK TO IN AN AGGRESSIVE AND HOSTILE MANNER and EVE: MOTHER-TO-BE OF THE RACE OF MORTAL, FALLEN MAN, YET PROPHETIC IN ITS IMPLICATION THAT SHE WAS TO BECOME THE MOTHER OF ALL 'LIVING' - - HER SEED WOULD PRODUCE THE REDEEMER.Iii. The fall robbed mankind of the precious relationship meant for 'man and wife'. Oneness, unity, perfect compliment "Tation", if you will; perfect partnership, perfect understanding, perfect integration, - - I believe that as the Creator, the Word and the Spirit are One, operating in perfect harmony and integration, so it was meant for man and wife to live and operate AND for mankind and his God to live and to operate. Aa. The original plan was for man and wife to experience a continual and eternal unfolding of revelation into the vast and limitless nuances of different 'sameness'. A joyous unending continuation of exploration into the discoveries of the who and what made each other the wonderful complimentary 'other' the other was! Bb. An eternal unfolding of revelation of God and God in them. B. The fall changed everything! The man and the woman lost their equality before God and each other. They were each responsible for their own sin. The consequences of the sin they committed are recorded in Genesis 3:16-19.1. The man would have to sweat and toil to make a living. The ground was cursed because of Adam's sin. 2. The woman would have sorrow in child bearing and her husband, her 'power - equal', would now rule over her, and her desire would be for him. a. The marriage would now be as fallen as the man and the woman. b. Instead of her main relationship being with her creator; now, her desire would be for a husband to meet the needs that only God had met before. i. Unfortunately, for a great many women throughout history, this has proven to be the worst of all the judgments! Ii. And unfortunately, for man - - seeing that power is the single most corrupting influence known to mankind - - he was now burdened with the 'rule' of his wife. His dominance of his wife has become so fallen and corrupt, that the original definition of 'marriage' has been completely lost to those still in sin.(MARRY: TO COMBINE IN PERFECT UNION, MAKING THE TWO ONE SINGLE AND PERFECTLY INTEGRATED UNIT; AN AGREEABLE BLEND).Colossians 3:18-19 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit (proper) in the Lord.[19] Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter (embitter - - cause them to be bitter against you) against them." I Peter 3:7 "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour (value, esteem, dignity) unto the wife, as unto the weaker (more beautiful) vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."I Corinthians 7:3-4 ""Let the husband render (give) unto the wife due benevolence (a kindness, a generosity): and likewise also the wife unto the husband. [4] The wife hath not power (SPIRITUALLY legal authority) of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power (SPIRITUALLY legal authority) of his own body, but the wife."Proverbs 31 describes a ‘Virtuous Woman’. Virtuous: morally excellent; pure innocent; strong; brave. What is the very FIRST requirement of a "Virtuous Woman"? A. Proverbs 31:10-12 "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. [11] The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shalll have no need of spoil.[12] She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.1. Please, please remember this, a woman who dishonors her husband cannot be considered a virtuous (Godly) woman! It does not matter how ‘HOLY’ or how ‘SPIRITUAL’ she PRETENDS to be or how ‘HOLY’ or how SPIRITUAL’ you PERCEIVE her to be!
II. A Godly husband: Ephesians 5:25-27 "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;[26] That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, [27] That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish." Proverbs 5:18-19 "Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.[19] Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love." Please, please remember this, a man who dishonors his wife cannot be considered a godly man! It does not matter how ‘HOLY’ or how ‘SPIRITUAL’ he PRETENDS to be or how ‘HOLY’ or how SPIRITUAL’ you PERCEIVE him to be! Determine to be a blessing! Everywhere you go: you can bring a blessing; be a blessing and leave a blessing behind you, just by the words you speak! Blessing or cursing, which will it be? a. Criticism or cursing CRUSHES! This includes: Fault finding ...Complaining ...Nagging ...Muttering ...Demeaning ...Belittling ...Degrading... Discouraging ... Disapproving ...Ridiculing ...Offending...Pass Judgment On...Discredit (in your own eyes, you discredit and demean or belittle those you talk about)Embarrassing b. Praise promotes! If you want to encourage or promote someone’s good behavior or self-worth - - praise them! It’s not only GOOD FOR THEM; but, believe it or not, IT’S GOOD FOR YOU! Praise someone for something and see how good it makes you feel! Not only does it make you feel good - - it raises your esteem for that person - - this is a psychological fact! Praise includes: i. Approval ...Admiration ... Compliments ...Honor ... ...Appreciation... Recognition of Value ...Cherish ...Treasure ...Think Highly Of...To Promote ...To inspire ...To celebrate ...Love ...Hold Dear ...Put On a Pedestal ...To Cheer On ...Respect ...To VIGOROUSLY make known the positive features of ...To aggrandize or make to appear greater (even in your own eyes!). "CRITICISM CRUSHES" "BUT PRAISE PROMOTES!" |
| GOD BLESS YOU REAL BIG! | |
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Jan 16 2007, 9:31 am - Replied by: windwalker
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Thats exactlly how it works mam , it should come nautrally to the women , as long as the man is doing his part... |
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| ( Mark 7: 15 )Nothing outside a man can make him 'UNCLEAN ' by going into him . Rather , it is what comes out of a man that makes him unclean | |||
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Sep 14 2007, 11:59 am - Replied by: kat1954
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.......WOMEN ARE SAVED IN CHILDBIRTH...... The ADULTRESS who would have been stoned was forgiven when she no longer had an ACCUSER, the woman at the well, because she BELIEVED that JESUS was the SAVIOR.
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| LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF | |
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