May 12 2006, 9:20 pm - By RKpianoman

ive been going out with this girl for almost two months, but since its in the middle of the school year and im failing a class i havent been able to spend much time with her in person or over the phone. i have explained to her that i really like her but i just cant do anything untill the end of May. she acts like she understands but then complains to her friends that i dont give her enough attention...not just casual complaining, but starting conversations with the point of saying this. so, naturally, i brush it off and talk to her and again explain that i simply dont have time right now. she becomes more conceited. so yeah, im a little miffed. more importantly, me and God have really been coming to terms with each other, or actually ive been coming to terms with Him, Hes God and doesnt come to terms with anyone. anyway, through by quiet times i have found that he wants me to focus this summer on what hes gifted me with (music) and using that to reach people. plain and simple, He wants me out of this relationship. heres the problem, my g/f is one of the nicest girls i know and i dont want to do anything to hurt her. this is where i need help...how do i end the relationship as smoothly as possible?

May 13 2006, 7:09 am - Replied by: bojangles

RKpianoman wrote: ive been going out with this girl for almost two months, but since its in the middle of the school year and im failing a class i havent been able to spend much time with her in person or over the phone. i have explained to her that i really like her but i just cant do anything untill the end of May. she acts like she understands but then complains to her friends that i dont give her enough attention...not just casual complaining, but starting conversations with the point of saying this. so, naturally, i brush it off and talk to her and again explain that i simply dont have time right now. she becomes more conceited. so yeah, im a little miffed. more importantly, me and God have really been coming to terms with each other, or actually ive been coming to terms with Him, Hes God and doesnt come to terms with anyone. anyway, through by quiet times i have found that he wants me to focus this summer on what hes gifted me with (music) and using that to reach people. plain and simple, He wants me out of this relationship. heres the problem, my g/f is one of the nicest girls i know and i dont want to do anything to hurt her. this is where i need help...how do i end the relationship as smoothly as possible?

My advice would be just be honest with her, tell her why you're breaking up with her and what God is saying. I'd also reccomend praying about it, asking God to give you the right words and the right attitude when you break-up with her.

May 13 2006, 12:21 pm - Replied by: Ilovemysailor

Gotta agree. Is she saved? Either way you need to do what the Lord has planned for you. I work in the youth department at my church and this is a common delima (spelled wrong but you know what I mean)The best thing to do is listen to what the Lord is telling you, and if He has plans for her in your life then it will work out. Pary that the Lord will give you the correct words, especially if she is not saved. You don't want to give her a sour taste in her mouth about being a Christian. You may be suprised at her response if you pray about it first and ask God to soften her heart to understand what is going on. Best of luck. Let us know what you do.

May 13 2006, 2:06 pm - Replied by: RKpianoman

thanks you to both of yall...yeah shes saved...i guess ill just give it a little more time and a lot more prayer

May 13 2006, 8:26 pm - Replied by: bojangles

RKpianoman wrote: thanks you to both of yall...yeah shes saved...i guess ill just give it a little more time and a lot more prayer

I'll be prayin for ya:)

May 14 2006, 1:28 pm - Replied by: Gina

I will be praying for God's will to be very clear for you. And that maybe your g/f will start to look to God for happiness and not how much time she isn't spending with you. In Christ, G_mac

May 15 2006, 5:45 pm - Replied by: RKpianoman

oh yeah, i know that, i mainly was just tryin to find the smoothest way possible to do it

May 31 2006, 9:03 am - Replied by: RKpianoman

its over...my tactic of avoidance finally worked...she finally saw that it wasnt workin out and we broke up without too much trouble...i feel so non-stressed now

Jun 08 2006, 2:54 pm - Replied by: wabbit268

Hey man I just want to caution you against avoidance tactics. I know it's hard to face someone you care about, but those hard conversations communicate how much you do care though they are painful. Taking responsibility for your choices and relationships is all part of being a man. I've had to do it several times, and it hurt a lot, but they never wondered why I broke up with them. Be kind, gentle and patient, but firm and resolved. The danger of avoidance is that a girl will wonder what is wrong with her or who knows what will go through her head, so be upfront so that she has no question.