Just wanna talk about my husband. 

Sometimes I just get this “oh  wow, I am so in love with this wonderful man” feeling.  I mean I always love him, but at odd moments this urge, this desire, this whatever you want to call it, comes over me.  It’s not that Bob does anything really, it’s just him being him. 

Romance and love isn’t based on material things anyway, something not everyone understands.  Yes it’s nice to be surprised with a gift, a bouquet of flowers brought to you that your husband picked out while you were looking at bread at the supermarket.    It’s happened to me more than once.  I will be wondering where that husband of mine has disappeared to, and here he comes with a boyish grin holding something where I can’t see it and then he proudly holds it up to me, it just makes me want to hug him and hold him tight.  These moments are nice, but even without these surprises just looking at him in the moments before dawn, seeing him after work when he can pick me up fills me with as much joy. 

Some mornings, when I am able to see him off to work I get such a sadness in my heart.  A day without him, a day of missing his company, a day of not being able to talk and hold hands, kiss and putter around the house together, these days are hard. 

We have been trying to conceive for sometime now, and I know that I will have to tell him that it’s not this month.  He would make a wonderful father.  He is patient, kind and gentle.  He deserves to be a father.  We have been given a time frame before we have to consider other options according to the doctors. 

People hear that we want to be parents so much and that we have yet been unable and they bring up all types of options to us including adoption.  I know they mean no harm in it.  Bob was adopted you know.  But we feel that adoption is a step you don’t go lightly into, that it is a path you must feel called to follow.  So many don’t understand this, friends, family, you name it, it’s a lack of understanding that seems universal. 

We have been accused by other Christians as not being Christian enough since this is an option we don’t feel called for, especially right now.  Oh, maybe it isn’t in so many words that they say it, but we get lectures about how they would just open their houses and hearts to any child in need, and how it is the Christian thing to do.  Like adoption is a step to be taken lightly.  There are so many factors to life period.  Life isn’t Hollywood.    We are told that with children our family will be complete…  Is that true?  If so, then why do people divorce?  No something else must make a family complete.  Maybe a family can be a man, a woman and a big old black dog, each loving the others and trusting the others.  Maybe many families aren’t complete, even when they have ten children, and maybe some families are complete with none.

Anyway, I just feel so blessed to have a wonderful husband to stand beside me and comfort me.  To hold my hand and even laugh with and at me sometimes.  I pray he feels these same things about me. 

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