So much is going on.  One of my closest sisters is soon to be with the Lord, she has liver and pancreatic cancer.  It went from the size of a cookie 6 weeks ago to the size of a volleyball. 

I am having knee surgery on the 9th of November.

This is my first thanksgiving and Christmas without my mom who passed away in January.  Don't really want to celebrate either but I will.

Sure don't want to do it with family.  They have all turned on me.  It's sad to go from being treasured by your mother and I treasured her to having the family hate you.  I miss her somethin awful!!

I have the second knee surgery in December.  Then I'm on my own, my brother isn't going to help me out financially after the first of the year.  I have to get a full time job to pay the bills.  I have a problem, although I believe the Lord is healing me of Bipolar disorder, I go out in public for 2 or 3 days in a row and suddenly I can't leave the house.  I'm believing for healing but at the same time I'm terrified what if I can't work full time.  I will lose my home that I shared with Mom and Dad.  I will be homeless. 

So many changes.  I'm tryin to trust the Lord and just take one day at a time but sometimes they all gang up on me at once.

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