I feel so lonely inside... I ache for what might have been. I have been found out for what I am; I am alone in a world of my own making. I am weak and frightened inside... I hide behind strong words. I failed at listening with my heart, And thinking myself smarter than the rest, Have done my best to defeat myself With less than honest discourse. Needing to be needed, Wanting to be loved, Unconditionally. Loving Conditionally, Loving Without feeling, Feeling unlovable and different, With walls and fears built by pain and bitter words. Feeling powerless, defenseless, A child who hides from the monsters That come in the night, To seek out my fears, And eat my mind With screams of terror. Ready to run, To hide, To seek love in any way I could. To give that which I never had, I was a child yet not a child, The caretaker, The strong one, Depend on me I cried When there was no one That I could depend on To love me, Protect me Touch me So; I may push you away, Testing your love Wanting all of it yet, risking it all. Don't desert me in these moments... for I love you with all of my being.

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