I'm home two weeks now and feeling better. I've been resting a lot and taking it easy and getting back to normal. I havent been out, much, except to run errands and take care of my responsibilities. The thought of partying and going out with friends is still too much for me.
I still have my days where I cant believe what happened to me and I still have my days where a great depression sets in and I cry for awhile. The Doctors say that's normal.
I know I went somewhere, and I know I havent remembered all of it yet, but it will come.
I found the shirt they had cut off of me, yesterday, and it brought back some memories that led to some depression but I'm getting over it. It's all just so very weird.
I spend a lot of time praying.
It's true, what they say.....when you die all the worry and fear and pain are gone and when you come back as violently as I had you wonder why you came back. I know it wasnt my choice. That it wasnt left up to me. The decision was made by Our Divine Lord and there must be something He wants me to do.
My dreams are vivid and I wake up feeling scared sometimes....life is so hard and I'm still doing battle with Assholious. I'm tired of the fight but I refuse to give up. I will see this to the end.It must be this way. He brought the battle to me, not me to him. Looks like it's going to be awhile longer before it's over. Doesnt matter to me.....I have no plans for the future as far as being in another relationship.
I am awed at how my body has performed. I cannot believe what it was put through and that I came out of it just as I was before, with no damage.
It is a personal testimony to the strength I posess. And I am awed by that, as well.
I have missed blogging every day but I'm beginning to get strong enough to start doing it again. I have missed it as I have missed all my friends.
So, to all of you I send my love.....