I recently wrote a blog asking for prayers and then sent it in a bulliten. I hate pity parties so I know that I'm not throwing myself pity parties. I know that God's love is endless and this blog will be both venting and an ask for prayers. I have learned in my life when it rains it floods but I have also learned that God has never and will never let me go through somethings or things that I can't handle and especially him as my pilot. Most people give things to God to work through and I am at the point where it feels like a full surender. I feel like he has me at that point where he is for the good trying to take over my life. Not bits and pieces like its so easy to do but just letting him take care of things through me. This is hard because when it comes to my life I am semi a control freak. He has given me so much and it's hard for me to give it all back to him so that he can make it grow. I don't know if that makes any sense but that is kind of where I am. I am struggling because I have one thing in my life right now that satan is having a wonderful time with and that is me switching churches. My parents are die hard church of Christ and my beliefs are more baptist than anything and so I've visited a baptist church that I am familiar with at least a few people. It's hard because even though they know what I believe they don't know that I am moving on so to speak and yet at the same time in my prayers and in my heart that is the direction that God is pointing me. I know that that isn't where they want me to be along with the church of theirs that I have been visiting. I am praying for strength. I am weak in this and know that because fears of mine that I haven't felt in a long time are creaping back up. I wrote in the last blog that God knows your strengths and weaknesses but so does satan. That is still true today. I ask for prayers for strength and peace and that I keep my focus on God and his will and not others. God Bless Matt

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