Malachi 4:6 6 He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse." It is no secret that my life has been in a state of change lately. I have moments when I am lost in it too... Everything that I do is about building relationships. My own children hear me talk of relationships daily. They hear about the the things we do as people to either build up or tear down relationships. I know that they listen too, I see them practice being good friends often. Sometimes though, it is me that needs to take to heart my own instruction: Yesterday started like many others in our home, everyone heading off in several directions. My son was at a friends house, my wife was heading off to work, my daughter was droping a friend off for a test, and then heading off to work herself. That left me alone in the house. Being alone is not a good thing for me. I needed to be out somewhere, doing something. I called a friend and we decided to just hang out for awhile. After running some errands I headed for my friends home. I was enjoying my afternoon laughing and working with a friend. Then I got a call from my daughter asking if some friends could come over to go swimming. At first I wasn't very keen on the idea, there is a lot of history with these friends. But, because I love my daughter I said yes. I believe with all of my heart that God ordained this moment for all of us: As I said before my life is in the process of change, to be honest I have lost one of my best earthly friends, this friend happens to be my daughter. She for various reasons is not at all happy with life as it is and is in pursuit of life as she wants it. This, unfortunately, tends to be in stark contrast to the lifestyle that God calls us as Christians to live. I believe that God is at work to draw her closer to him. I waiting on the Lord for His restoration. History: the friends that my daughter invited to come over and go swimming are both significant persons in our lives. One literally almost destroyed my ministry with a lie, and the other almost became part of our family. The subject of this blog is the latter. Her name is Charity: This young lady has always been part of our extended family; she was my daughters roommate in the group home they lived in prior to the kids adopting us.There was a period of time when we thought she would become part of our family, and we sought God and with His blessing she came to live with us one summer. She had visited over several weekends and things always went well. When Charity came for the summer it became very apparent that my daughter could not be healthy with another girl in the home. She guarded her relationship with me too much. She felt very threatened by Charity's presence. Charity was miserable because of it. She longed to belong to someone too. Charity is wise beyond her years, she asked to go back to the group home. She gave up what she wanted for her friend. My daughter has no idea about this because I just found out yesterday myself. On our drive to my home Charity, who is almost 19 years old now shared her heart with me about our relationship. We tried to stay in contact with her in the years after that summer, and always hoped that maybe someday she might change her mind. My daughter would invite her over for the weekend sometimes, and we would see signs of the same tension that was there that summer. I knew that I wouldn't sacrifice my daughter's emotional safety for anyone else, so I put distance between Charity an us. Charity shared with me that she had felt some hurt when we didn't come to her high-school graduation. The truth is that we made a decision not to go, I put my daughter's needs and wants above my desire to be there. My daughter wanted to do something with family, So instead of supporting Charity, we went to a local amusement park. I asked Charity to forgive for this yesterday. I found out in my thirty minuts of driving with Charity that she still desires to have a relationship with us. She is in love and hoping that this young man may ask her to marry him.She asked if I would give her away as her father. I am so sorry that I gave up on this little girl, God please forgive me. I made a promise to Charity that we would support her in any way we can. She deserves it. Now, I wish that I had been better at being a dad. I almost missed the blessing of having another daughter. I'm not sure how to protect Lauren, my daughter at home though, Last night I saw the same little tensions in her. It was interesting though, my daughter who has been barely talking to me; needed me to tuck her in and pray with her lastnight. She hasn't needed that for years now. Lord work through all of this and help me to be a father to both of these ladies. Help them both to find you in the journey, guide their steps according to your plans for their life. Protect them from the attacks of the enemy, and Lord draw all of us closer to you.

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