Hello everyone, I just wanted to express myself in a most honest way. I suffer from a disease of the mind known as selfishness. Let me explain the way I am and maybe you can offer me some personal advice. I am the oldest child of 5 children, my mother wasn't well experienced in parenting as she came from a very abusive and tragic childhood. She did her very best to raise us and I have no ill will or regretfull feelings towards her for the events of my own childhood, I love her very much. Anyways, I was one of those kids who was always zoning off in his own world, pretending and wondering about the fascinating aspects of life, such as nature. When I was about 5 I would spend my time wandering around the neighborhood gazing at stuff and being more interested in nature than the human aspect of my life. Now this is what I remember, not everything, but for the most part I was detached from my mother, and my father wasn't with her, they split up when I was about 2. I can remeber always having a feeling like I didn't quite fit in even with my own family. When I was 7 my father and grandmother both passed away in a fire. We moved after this to Oregon. For awhile I never knew Jesus and I was lost to the world and god, stuck in the middle of a lonely existence. When I was 15 a friend offered me marijuana and I got high for the first time of my life. Unfortunately I really like it and it seemed to fill that void that was eating at my soul. I got deeper into drugs and when I was 16 my life took a turn which I would have never expected; I was kicked out of my moms boyfriends house and the very next day I hitchhiked to Idaho to attend something called a rainbow gathering. I travelled around after this and was going from state to state with a friend from Brazil who thought he was a prophet. He was a mormon who had a vision of the last days and believed himself to be one of the angels spoken about in revelations, particulary the angel of the church of sardis. Anyways I eventually got away from him and realized that I had an interest suddenly in the Bible and the words of god, so coincidently he helped spark my interest in God. I struggled and wrestled with my addiction as well as with my faith. The enemy really wanted me to stay addicted and forget about Jesus, but our lords promise prevailed. Now as I am 23 I have seen many things and been many places and I truly believe that Miricles happen all the time in our lives. I praise god for always hearing our prayers and being righteous and holy and for the gift of our lord Jesus. I wrote this because I wanted to share some of my story of how I came to know our savior, everyones story is different and to me, precious. I know in my heart I cannot live with any understanding of this world without my scriptures and that I need to read them more to illuminate my soul again. In the beginning I said that I was selfish. I am, I have been praying for myself lately because I have turned away from the road and been sinful and I am ashamed and ill of spirit. Thats why I am here, I need this fellowship and I have faith that through repentance and steadfastness to the word that my heart will once again seek after our lord. I realize now how wicked this world truly is, and people are just pawns in this great struggle against the powers of darkness, If you have read this far please pray for those like me that we may come back to the lord and worship him. ty Sincerely Eugene

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