Mean Moms    

      Someday when my children are old enough to
      understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will
      tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you
      enough . . to ask where you were going, with whom,
      and what time you would be home.

      I loved you enough to be silent and let you
      discover that your new best friend was a creep.

      I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours
      while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

      I loved you enough to let you see anger,
     disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must
     learn that their parents aren't perfect.

     I loved you enough to let you assume the
     responsibility for your actions even when the
     penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

      But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say
      NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

      Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm
      glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
      And someday when your children are old enough to
      understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

      Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the
      meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids
      ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat
sandwiches.
     And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
     different from what other kids had, too.

      Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all
      times You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She
      had to know who our friends were, and what we were
      doing with them. She insisted that if we said we
      would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

      We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve
      to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work We
      had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to
      cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash
      and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie
      awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

      She always insisted on us telling the truth, the
      whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time
      we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had
      eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!

     Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn
     when they drove up. They had to come up to the door
     so she could meet them. While everyone else could
     date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.

      Because of our mother we missed out on lots of
      things other kids experienced. None of us have ever
      been caught shoplifting, vandalizing others
      property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

      Now that we have left home, we are all educated,
      honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean
      parents just like Mom was.

      I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
      It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

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