Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903 - Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. ******************** In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go. ******************** In a London, England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767 ******************** In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: Anna Wallace: The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna. Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna. ******************** In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me For not rising. ******************** In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake. ******************** In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: Here lays The Kid. We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger But slow on the draw. ******************** A lawyer's epitaph in England: Sir John Strange. Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange. ******************** John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery: Reader, if cash thou art In want of any, Dig 6 feet deep; And thou wilt find a Penny. ******************** In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune. ******************** Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont Here lies the body of our Anna - Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go. ******************** On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod. Pease shelled out and went to God ******************** In a cemetery in England: Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, you soon will be. Prepare yourself and follow me. To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: To follow you I'll not consent, Until I know which way you went.
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