How might you describe me? That is a somewhat hard question to answer, as I am somewhat of a paradox. I am quite complex, but at the same time, I am very simple to know and understand. I am a lover, a worshiper, a servant, and a radical. I am concerned with primarily one thing in this life, and that is to be pleasing to my God alone. Open, approachable, transparent, and real. I am human, I have my many shortcomings and failings, but one thing I do, as Paul has done before me; I have chosen to forget those things which have hindered me in the past, and I press onward into a more glorious relationship with my Father and God. To know Him, and to make Him known; this is my cry and desire.
I want to meet people who are radically obsessed with God, and are hungering for something more than what they have found in most churches today! I am speaking intimacy with God, which has sadly been lost in our churches today. People who are willing to sacrifice it all to see His kingdom and His righteousness restored, and His coming drawing ever closer, working with the Spirit to see souls saved and people walking in a true and unshakable relationship with Jesus Christ. People who want to walk in the power that Jesus Himself said we were to experience; healing, signs, wonders, prophecy; the fullness of God within us springing forth like a mighty rushing river.
I am also on MySpace (click
HERE to go to my MySpace profile) and CyWorld (click
HERE to go to my CyWorld profile), so if you have either of these as an account as well, hit me up and let's be friends their too. I am more on Myspace than any of these three profiles, but I still check them all frequently!
My life has been separated for the ministry; street evangelism, prophetic teaching and writing, passionate worship leading, cleaning a church, building a house; whatever I see that there is a need, I will be there, willing and able to carry out the task. You see, I try to make my life like that of an empty vessel, ready to be filled with only one thing, and that is the glory of God, not for my own desires, but so that the world would see Him through me. I don;t see myself as too good for the small things, no matter how much I have experienced with God in the ministry, nor do I allow the sacrifices that I have made in life puff me up. I am who I am, not for myself, but for Him.
On another note though, that doesn't mean I should make some kind of fake humility here, so to tell a bit more about myself, here we go. I have been saved since late 2001, about 1 month after getting home from Marine Corps boot camp with a medical discharge. At that point in my life, I had nothing left; my life-long dream was flushed down the toilet per say with the USMC, I had burned almost every bridge with my previous jobs in my immaturity, and I was close to suicidal because of my hate of life, family, friends, and myself. Reluctantly I accepted Jesus into my life, but little did I expect what had happened to actually happen. There I was, useless in my own eyes, literally having little other doors of opportunity available to me in life, and yet God used that very thing for something great (well, He is still using and developing that useless vessel for His purpose).
Things started to change very rapidly. Seeing as I had nothing left, I was more willing to give it all up for this last 'out' as I saw it. God began to develop a spirit within me of love and passion, He was raising within me a radical spirit, one which would not be easily moved again. I started serving in my youth group, using what talents I had for sound and lighting, which eventually developed into much larger avenues to serve in the future. I grew very rapidly over the next several years, taking such positions in the church as youth staff (serving with another friend and the youth pastor as the youth pastors two right hand men), children's pastor (doing the children's church for about a year), street ministry (carrying a cross around town, ministering hope and encouragement wherever my feet took me), a school prayer team (seeing the youth in one of the local high schools come together on a daily basis during their lunches to pray feverently for God to reign in their schools), and other forms of ministry. I think though, what mattered most about my life is that I only wanted one thing, His will and power in my life.
This eventually led me to start traveling around with my cross, carrying it where I felt led or needed by the Spirit of God. I went to Houston after Hurricane Katrina and ministered, volunteered, and donated my time and money to help the victims of the hurricane. I spent 3 weeks in the region, going as far as 5 miles inside Louisiana. I walked mostly locally though, homeless for 3 years (by choice, as that allowed me more time and focus for the ministry). I recently returned from another trip which led me to the northern New England area of Maine. For 3 months I traveled around the eastern United States until I came to this point. This was the life, this was what I felt was 'arriving' at the ministry, but I was soon to discover how wrong, how weak in the flesh I was.
I was now at a new crossroad, about to make the next radical decision in my life and ministry, going into the town square of Portland, Maine, and being chained up with large and heavy chains. I would spend the next week fasting and praying for the fire and power of God to fill that place. Why? It was to be a statement, not to the people of Portland, but to the principalities and demonic forces over that area, that God was not going to remain silent much longer. The cry of His few people in that area had finally come to His ears, and He was about to come down with fire and rain, and the chains of bondage of everyone in that region would come off. Sadly though, God was choosing a weak and scared vessel to carry this task. Fear, selfishness, and pride (and on I could make this list of my own faults) kept me from taking this next bold step of faith. Yet God is not done, with me, or this region.
For the past month or so, I have been planning another trip, primarily to get my life of ministry and serving back on track from where it was left off in Maine. Even as I was writing that above testimony (a very brief one, but it is all I have for you right now), I felt a strong urge to return to Maine. I have been planning on California, not Maine, to get started again, but now understand that would be foolish. If God has called me to something, I will answer His call; I am still full of fear, especially now as we are drawing upon one of the most brutal times of the year for someone who is homeless and in Maine. Winter is tough in that region, yet I know God will make the way. I suppose I will be leaving within two weeks. I will keep all updated on this through bulletins and blogs, as well as periodic updates to this information.
