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"Battling cancer over the last few years really broke me down. The truth is, suffering and struggle forever change a person.
It marks you... And you have a choice.
You can get bitter or you can let your heart be trained by it.
In my case, it also forced me come face to face with some disturbing truths like...
I wasn't tough or strong.
And contrary to what I once believed, I never really had been...
Intense physical pain, endured for long periods of time, ruthlessly made this clear to me.
For someone who had served in the army and was raised by a career military man (at one point, my father, my brother, both of my brothers-in-law and I were ALL on active duty at the same time), this was an especially bitter pill to swallow!
However, this self discovery opened up an even greater truth...
My Savior is tough and strong and always has been.
I mean, he endured torture and then death on a cross because He loved folks that hated Him!
But more than this, because He has suffered, the Scripture says He has compassion on me and gives me His strength when I admit my weakness and by faith rest in Him.
Well, after fighting sickness for awhile, the "admitting my weakness" part was pretty easy.
It was the "by faith resting in Him" that was a moment by moment battle.
Sometimes, it still is...
But it is a battle I did not (and do not) have to fight by myself.
Actually, I am sure that had I been left to fight it by myself, I would have lost.
I think I began to grasp how utterly dependent I am (and was) on the Lord, and His humbling care poured out through others.
The body of Christ, my business partners, the Nashville songwriting community, doctors and nurses... God moved on so many people to stand with my wife and children, and I... It blew us away!
I don’t know how many times I have broken down in tears when considering the selfless love that God sheltered us with through the beautiful folks around us.
There is NOTHING like genuine Christian community.
You know, there are times when I can literally feel the power of the prayers going up on my behalf!
When the healing finally does fully manifest in my body, in this life, I believe that it will have been the result of God’s love...
A love manifested in the prayers of those who selflessly carried me in their hearts."
CANCER, MUSIC AND JOY!
"These cancer battles have impacted my music and ministry, They have really forced me to dig deep, and to my surprise, what I found there in that deep place was joy... pure, radiant, and full of hope.
Of course, I had to get past the shock, grief, self pity... You know, all the junk that trouble brings to the surface... But I found that once I chose to offer up to God a sacrifice of praise... Not just an offering, but a sacrifice...
And let me tell you when you got no hair, you are so weak you can hardly move, you were just throwing up, and every cell in your body hurts... It is a sacrifice to praise!
Well, what I found out was when I started singing to God, even as pitiful as that singing was, God took notice!
I could feel His Presence and His love in ways that are almost impossible to express!
It was like He would touch me with a joy that was deeper and truer than the trouble.
Obviously, not every day is "Joy Unspeakable", but when I feel really down, I try to be honest with God and I talk to Him just like I would if I was a kid hurting and talking to his dad.
In the Bible, David held nothing back in the Psalms... He got real with God... As a matter of fact, his level of realness used to make me uncomfortable!
Here you have this emotional, artistic soldier and political figure just spilling everything, all his junk and fears and love to God...
And he did it in songs that were meant to be sung by the choir!!!
The guy bared his deepest soul in the public square!
That truth alone shook me and challenged me to go places in my music that I hadn't been before..
It gave me the courage to REALLY offer that sacrifice of praise from the broken place...
David almost always ended with that sacrifice of praise!
His example and the examples of the others God used to pen the the Bible gives us a God breathed, brass tacks model for how to get through suffering.
Well, to sum it up, I just have to say that I found joy where I least expected to find it!"
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